Sounds like you really cared about the esfj. And you've been out of the relationship for less than a year. I think it takes a full year to recover from the loss of someone you loved or cared about. Did you end the relationship or did she? If she left you, you might be feeling even more stung.

So it's going to take some time before you feel better - the worst of it could be over in about four months.

Pedro is right. Starting even superficial connections with others can be helpful. I mean, stronger relationships have to start somewhere. You expand your chances of having stronger, deeper relationships if you take a lot of casts into the pond, no?

But I think you could mainly just be hurting from your loss. When you're hurting, people seem to catch on and try to leave you alone, which of course, only makes the hurting worse. When you're feeling better, people sense this and try to connect with you more.

The other suggestion is to try to keep very busy doing things. This helps some people stay distracted from feeling alone.

Intj's tend to not recognize when others are trying to reach out to them, too. You might not be noticing the overtures you're getting. Also, have you not been following up with people that you've previously made connections with? Are you isolating because you miss the esfj?

Sorry you are having a bad time. Hopefully the worst will be over soon.