SLI's tell me how Fi-HA or weak Fi manifests in you. Examples! And why you do what you do. . .So mysterious and confusing. . .
SLI's tell me how Fi-HA or weak Fi manifests in you. Examples! And why you do what you do. . .So mysterious and confusing. . .
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Not telling people how I feel about them, even people closest to me. I assume they know, but some types of people need affirmation.
Appearing as if I don't care about anything.
Wanting to love and be open with others, but feeling an overpowering need to protect myself.
It manifests as having my deepest core desire to love everyone unconditionally, knowing that a condition of being human is that no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved.
The problem is that being so reserved and logical, I often don't know the best or appropriate way to express that feeling to people. If I express my feelings with words, it's usually either too little or too much, and people write me off as being insincere or reject me completely.
But I'm not that great with words, especially on the spot, and my ultimate fear is that if I share my true feelings towards people I make myself vulnerable. Yet the older I get, I'm becoming less concerned with what's "appropriate", and I also begin to realize that another condition of being human is vulnerability.
My most effective way of expressing feelings are by actions and my dedication to those closest to me.
quick question. that could also be Fe-DS, am I right?
I went through a few fi hidden agenda threads and theres a sufficient lack of concrete examples. instead of just agreeing,(cyrano) putting individual interpretations of your ha, how it exists in your mind and manifests in your behavior would be great. enfps here generally seem to be lost when it comes to you guys and the lack of things like this is part of the reason whyy.
they needeth you
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not
Perhaps I will discuss this some other time. ***how mysterious***
Now I'm kind of lost.
Isn't dual-seeking the 5th function, which would be Ne for an SLI?
I certainly don't seek out Fe. I'm too independent to want someone telling me what's emotionally appropriate.
Well that was certainly insightful.
But in a way it does matter, as I was addressing the question in posts 5 and 6.
This has always been an issue for me.
I'm very impressionable with it comes to ethical principles. If I can reason it, I can believe in it.
Tomorrow, I can find new information and have a reason to no longer believe in it, and throw it away like that.
I certainly don't derive a sense of identity from Fi - I can't because there's no consistency.
But I certainly have an admiration for those who stick to their guns.
I did a search and found some old threads on this, but I wanted some updated opinions and examples, so... what do you know about Fi hidden agenda in SLIs?
I can't say, but I am interested as well.
And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.
Most recent example would be me talking to someone I trust about what I'm going through emotionally.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
It means a lot to me when someone trusts me enough to confide in me.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
In xLIs "inert" Fi HA and Fe-PoLR seems to manifest as inability to perceive positive affect in a dynamic way and as absence of its transmission on their part.
I've recently translated this male SLI profile by Beskova which contained several mentions of what could possibly be expressions of Fi-HA/Fe-PoLR e.g. the part of the profile where it mentions how they can feel attracted to someone from a distance, but never show it for months and even years, which in practice I've found to be true among male xLIs (usually among Si/Fi-subs). The more strongly they ignore Fe - they more inclined they are towards passive contemplation, and, consequently, towards idealization of the person in their mind instead of assessing and influencing the actual course of events.
Other logical types besides SLIs also have a difficulty assessing where they stand with respect to others, however, static logical types, such as LSIs or SLE, try to clarify things up in a more direct and active manner, by 'shaking things up'. Whereas behavior of SLIs in such situations is very undemonstrative, unobtrusive, 'mute' even. They try to 'slip out' of situations and relationships that feel disconcerting to them, wanting to protect their inner space from negative impressions. This is where IEE's ability to create a safe emotional environment for them comes into play."Men of this type are observant, possess an ironic mind and an unobtrusive, refined sense of humor, although they are not willing to show this for just anyone. GABIN overall is not very demonstrative and prefers a sufficiently secluded, calm life far away from people, the noise, the fuss, and all the possible calamities.
GABIN exists as if outside of current culture. He is unusually critical of everything, retains his own point of view, and is difficult to influence by advertisements or other manifestations of popular culture. Clubbing, senseless noisy gathering with many unknown people where no one can hear anyone else, do not draw youths of this type.
Another matter is a social gathering with familiar people, where he feels himself valued and loved, a small corporate party for example. Here GABIN can even take initiative and proceed to entertain guests, or, at least, he will try to support the general atmosphere of celebration.
Not every girl is able to entice distrustful GABIN. First, he does not believe that he can be attractive to someone. Second, rarely everyone succeeds in awakening any enthusiasm or interest in him - indeed GABIN, as a rule, does not hurry anywhere. Behind his courageous, solid appearance hides impossible shyness and indecisiveness. His understanding of relationships is poor, thus he does not see when he should show initiative and when it's unnecessary. So that everything is simple and not as terrifying, he may prefer to not take any initiative at all. Instead, he chooses to fill himself with mysteriousness to excite curiosity in others by his absence.
Relations with GABIN usually happen accidentally - he himself does not understand where they came from and how they originated. He is capable of falling in love from a distance, only by eyes, observing the person who randomly captured his heart for a long time. In this case, being a contemplator by his nature, he can spend months and even years in this state and not take any action.
...
GABIN is reserved (because he is easily wounded), and does not like to put his feelings on display for strangers. Fact is that he is not so confident in himself, as it may seem. Learn to give praise and support to your partner, then he will more easily manage his life, and will feel somewhat better about himself.
...
However, besides the business aspects, human relations at work are exceptionally important for GABIN. He monitors them carefully. It is necessary for him that he is loved, valued, and praised. As a result of his constant (but almost imperceptible) efforts in this direction, GABIN usually occupies the role of everyone's favorite in a group."
For comparison, here is a LSI profile that mentions how in cases of uncertainty LSI feels the need to stir things and and to "break though the boundaries".
... It is more difficult to understand what it meant by "the land that goes from under my feet." First, the land never actually leaves. The LSI needs to stir it up the levels dangerous to life in the physical or social sense, the point where it "begins to leave". Efforts of un-dualized LSI are directly exactly at this. Why one might ask? To him it just feels that somewhere close to him there is something is happening, but to see it and be involved in it which will turn his life from dull into full, he needs to break through the boundaries. But how this can be done nobody tells him. So thus he goes breaking in everywhere. He will follow to any adventure, take on any danger, to feel that all this have been accomplished by him.
Among other things, he possesses a kind of unconscious attraction to annoy other people by his behavior (some like to make chained dogs bark). Why? In my opinion, he is in unconscious hope to find emotional response from anybody who is more or less equal to the force of his dual, which gives him the required background.
edit: another example of SLI's Fe-PoLR + positivism
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...y-of-Functions
Misunderstandings occurs when a person, for example, sits and tearfully recounts a story of how he was supposedly offended. The whole situation is such that help is not required, there is nothing there to help with. But for some reason he is still telling it! And often I find myself quietly falling into stupor, frantically trying to figure out what kind of response is required of me. It is clear that no thoughts come to my mind, except: "Huh, so what do I do, what do you want?" All of this is reflected on my face with corresponding expression, and the person ... the person starts feeling upset or even angry not seeing any adequate response from me to his story. (One-dimensional Fe : SLI "Gabin")
Last edited by silke; 04-30-2020 at 04:50 PM. Reason: fixed links
Clubbing? Funny... Places like that go beyond dislike for me. I can barely operate. I had this friend who was dragging me out a few years back.. like he saw me as his "wingman", but I was the worst person to be with. Not once did I ever have to initiate much either. Some women would just grind their asses in my face, handing a "social life" on a plate and... I'm just like "Uhhh... OK". I don't know how to enjoy myself or get in a big party mode like other people.
The thing I dislike even more is if there's someone I think I connect with, and then I lose them to the "crowd", and lose one on one time. I find myself resenting them for it, but it's not jealousy exactly.. More like watching someone cross a chasm I can't get across. They're expecting me to emotionally participate in everything like them, but I never can, and turn around.
Yeah I dislike "clubbing" with a severe passion. The only way I can relax in those situations is to be on something. I really don't get what's so fun about dancing with drunk people whom you'll most likely never see again, who are too drunk to have meaningful conversations with in a place you cant even hear yourself think. I think raves or something where everyone is on drugz might be good for mental stimulation but in general, its so damn awkward for me. So often I get invited to clubs and reluctantly go so these ppl don't think I'm completely antisocial but to me, it's about as uncomfortable as humanly possible. My friends go and freak out and dance and talk to strangers and I'm the awkward person in the corner trying to get drunk enough to relax. No thanks ugh. Oh, this really doesn't have anythig to do with the topic at hand. Um I'd contribute to that but everyone's opinion of what Fi is seems to be drastically different across the board so what's the point
I enjoy people who are upfront with me emotionally, and judge the character of a person by a rigid moral discipline. What's further, I would very much enjoy a really deep relationship with someone who can dissolve my inhibitions- to "love deeply" if you will. But I cant really make it happen.
"We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.".
being Fi base,i often get the feeling that it does not allow me to just relax and merge,forgetting about ME for a sec.It is a schizoid function and kind of a burden tbh.i really wanna help you guys ,though.so y'know...if there are any questions n shit...
edit:i'm not Fi base anymore.yeah,like,maybe this situation stems from the fact that Fi is my creative function.So,willingly or not,I have to observe it and do things with it.
Also,it is posts like this that hand out the quintessence of socionics to humanity.
Last edited by Kalinoche buenanoche; 05-24-2012 at 08:52 PM.
xlis are the most sensitive types ime. thats why they go well with fi creatives wh can handle that shit with finesse and be flexible about it. they can be a challenge in relationships because that kind of emotional information is very much at the forefront for them but in a way where it can manifest weirdly and not be communicated well. it can be very endearing and it can be frustrating.
Spot on!
Wouldn't you say so, @Gilly?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
Sounds about right.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
Best SLI description ever.A story from real life of male GABIN: "I was studying in medical school, and one girl seemed very attractive to me. And I walked around and looked at her, and for entire 6 years I continued liking her. And the next 2 years of residency as well. Then I finished with school. After some time I called her and asked her to marry me. She agreed. Thus we became married."
Siuntal, you should run this place.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
huh. i believe i know an SLI male in this state - and yes, he definitely exudes "mysteriousness."Relations with GABIN usually happen accidentally - he himself does not understand where they came from and how they originated. He is capable of falling in love from a distance, only by eyes, observing the person who randomly captured his heart for a long time. In this case, being a contemplator by his nature, he can spend months and even years in this state and not take any action.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
It's kind of nice hearing about people as socially stilted as I am. I've always thought I was a little screwed up for some inexplicable reason. Maybe this can be fixed.
One thing I would point out though is how aware I am of missed opportunities. By my mid-20s, I tried to compensate for it, but with equally bad results. No one ever told me, but I think it was too much. I went through my teens like one of those people who felt things from a distance, not getting enough out... and I hated myself for it. But then, I hate myself equally for trying to be open later. I picked the wrong people, and the wrong ways of doing it. Hell, I'm uncomfortable just saying this here.