IEIs/INFps expressing their emotions: repress or explode?

[pga tour]

Some types get angry and sometimes explode and yell, and maybe even throw things.

Does the IEI type repress their emotions? Is it rare for an IEI to explode/have an angry outburst?

I may be the INFp/IEI type and am wondering about this because I RARELY have outbursts like this and handle emotions internally.

[sigma]

I may be the INFp/IEI type and am wondering about this because I RARELY have outbursts like this and handle emotions internally.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave, there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier.

[Creepy-male]

I'm the guy in frozen goods dialling 911, I swear.

[pluie]

yeah, i've often wondered about that too...

it goes that EIEs tend to hold in a lot more, i think... but uh.. they don't explode. i believe they are pretty good at holding in stuff.

but umm... I think the Fe creative explosion thing is common-ish-- at least for undeveloped IEIs. or unhealthy and really stressed out ones?

it could possibly be not type-related as well though, but i think sometimes the intensity of the emotion is just too intense so they're like

"fuck everything" and they express it. rashly.

i've done that a few times (at my current age level)--but only with those i trust to see me vulnerable, and then other times i've just held it in...but usually.. eventually, i have to get it out of my system and share it with a friend, but i dont explode, unless i think they're being dumb... or immature or inconsiderate. (i do not use "dumb" in the conventional way in this context.) usually i can just share whats bothering me with a very close friend, in a calm but expressive manner that lets me release a lot of stress. however, usually i try not to because i don't like being dependent on others to release stress. i like to be able to cope independently.

to support what i said about not being as developed or w/e; yeah-- when i was younger, i'd explode almost always when i was in a negative emotional state. but i've matured and pretty much internalize my emotions and deal with it on my own the way you say you do. (or at least i try to..... )

i've spoken with IEIs who just let it all out without regard to the effect they'll have on me, or to what they are actually saying... they're probably the 4s or maybe even 6s (disclaimer: it's a fuckin joke. not a legit generalisation.)

and then there's the 4 so's (most likely) or very possibly the 9s... or even just the 5 wing esp if social probably makes a difference... they are usually very peaceful and internalize things nicely. they're just "chill" all the time, and fun to be with and joke with easily. not so intense.

i think thats an intimate thign as well... by intimate i mean "sx" on the enneagram... the need for the ups and downs. i know i do that shit naturally... but like i said, i've grown.

so i'm not really sure what factor determines whether or not IEIs most often express what is most bothering them or if they just internalize it and let it pass or cope in whatever-else way.

i'll say the idealistic and "politically correct" thing, i think...
Whether a person explodes or not varies from one individual to the next-- regardless of type! xD

(el oh el)

[pga tour]

yeah, i've often wondered about that too...

it goes that EIEs tend to hold in a lot more, i think... but uh.. they don't explode. i believe they are pretty good at holding in stuff.

but umm... I think the Fe creative explosion thing is common-ish-- at least for undeveloped IEIs. or unhealthy and really stressed out ones?

it could possibly be not type-related as well though, but i think sometimes the intensity of the emotion is just too intense so they're like

"fuck everything" and they express it. rashly.

i've done that a few times (at my current age level)--but only with those i trust to see me vulnerable, and then other times i've just held it in...but usually.. eventually, i have to get it out of my system and share it with a friend, but i dont explode, unless i think they're being dumb... or immature or inconsiderate. (i do not use "dumb" in the conventional way in this context.) usually i can just share whats bothering me with a very close friend, in a calm but expressive manner that lets me release a lot of stress. however, usually i try not to because i don't like being dependent on others to release stress. i like to be able to cope independently.

to support what i said about not being as developed or w/e; yeah-- when i was younger, i'd explode almost always when i was in a negative emotional state. but i've matured and pretty much internalize my emotions and deal with it on my own the way you say you do. (or at least i try to..... )

i've spoken with IEIs who just let it all out without regard to the effect they'll have on me, or to what they are actually saying... they're probably the 4s or maybe even 6s (disclaimer: it's a fuckin joke. not a legit generalisation.)

and then there's the 4 so's (most likely) or very possibly the 9s... or even just the 5 wing esp if social probably makes a difference... they are usually very peaceful and internalize things nicely. they're just "chill" all the time, and fun to be with and joke with easily. not so intense.

i think thats an intimate thign as well... by intimate i mean "sx" on the enneagram... the need for the ups and downs. i know i do that shit naturally... but like i said, i've grown.

so i'm not really sure what factor determines whether or not IEIs most often express what is most bothering them or if they just internalize it and let it pass or cope in whatever-else way.

i'll say the idealistic and "politically correct" thing, i think...
Whether a person explodes or not varies from one individual to the next-- regardless of type! xD

(el oh el)

yeah i think everyone has those times.

i1m trying to figure out which type i am, which is why i asked that question.

i have it narrowed down to:
INFP
INFJ
ENFP
ENTP

not sure tho, i think im more of a chilled out type so they may rule out the ENFp (but chilled/relax state could also not be a factor in types)

[redbaron]

I'm the guy in frozen goods dialling 911, I swear.

[redbaron]

NEVER would I explode in public. Even at home, I rarely flip out. I think things tend to build and then they come out in other ways (like a good long cry when I'm in the shower). But generally speaking, I dislike showing my emotions to others. Even my best friends. One of the best things about time with my dual is that he calms me down completely. No matter what's going on in my life. I don't feel stressed out at all. Almost to the point of feeling so peaceful, I'm comatose! It's weird. And sometimes when I want to talk to someone, I'll think oh, I'll wait and tell him (the SLE) but then once I'm with him I don't feel the need to say it anymore because it just doesn't matter, I'm so calm and happy. Anyway, so I'm not the one screaming at the cashier, I'm not really the cashier either (and I'm not the guy in frozen foods, lol). I guess I'm the guy stocking the cigarettes who just gets tired of it and steals a candy bar.

[pga tour]

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave, there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier.

haahahaha

why are there so many IEIs out there, arent they only supposed to make 1% of the US population?

[redbaron]

haahahaha

why are there so many IEIs out there, arent they only supposed to make 1% of the US population?

I think that's wrong.

[Banana Pancakes]

In my experience they are very internal about it and it drives me insane. I suppose I'd rather have it all right now like with SEI.

[redbaron]

In my experience they are very internal about it and it drives me insane. I suppose I'd rather have it all right now like with SEI.

Um, SEIs can be very internal about it also. fyi.

[pluie]

I've seen some scary things from IEI's... though, they probably weren't the healthiest of people.

By the way, this quote applies to me very well, in general:

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

yeah, great quote. and i identify with it as well. i've seen it before, but where i saw it they didn't add her name at the end; that's awesome its from her.

[717495]

SHUT THE FnCK UP!

[717495]

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

How are IEIs out of control? This doesn't seem very like them. You mean crazy and dancing everywhere?

Maybe when they're "alone" I typically perceive IEIs as quite reserved, somewhat of a pissed off person, but pretty emotional nonetheless. Never out of control, just irrational like other IPs. Stubborn, leave me to my mode etc. They come off as very nice people actually.

If I wanted to get "out of control" I wouldn't be a lazy IP. Out of control seems more of an extroverted trait. I don't want to take this too subjectively however. Perhaps I'm just being a guy.

[717495]

Um, SEIs can be very internal about it also. fyi.

Yes I agree on that point. I dont see how SEIs can be necessarily "all right now."

[ScarlettLux]

lol, have you ever actually lived with an IEI?



??

Lmao yeah seriously... IEIs are fuckin' cuhhhh razyyyy

[717495]

lol, have you ever actually lived with an IEI?

Mostly male IEIs. I picture the composer Chopin, even as a young arrival, never too outwardly expressive with negative rebellion, or even plainly wild positive emotion. I don't see that as a prime objective in a young male, and an element that would likely be downplayed. You could make a case for irrational females though, since females can be more emotionally expressive so more inclined to get into trouble with their emotions, if there is a problem to begin with, and I'm not saying males don't either. It has more to do with the biological statistics of maturity from what I've seen regarding "ethical" types. I'd have a hard time picturing a wild IEI, as all of the IEIs I know are quite reserved emotionally, even the females. There in lies calmness within them, for they seek to make quite positive impressions of their subordinate external matters. Other betas, like SLE, I can see how they could be wild and crazy externally with their emotions. SEIs are more inclined to act in this manner too because their primary function deals with external things. I don't think IEIs are wild and crazy, but I could see how there could be some wild and crazy IEIs. Just seems like more of a question of maturity, and immature girls are more inclined to be wild and crazy with their emotions. But I'm not saying that's bad

[silverchris9]

I generally don't do the whole outburst thing, but I am cool with acting crazy when the moment presents itself. I actually like to be "out of control," a little bit, or at least not so concerned with my superego (in the Freudian sense, rather than the socionics sense). But actually I'm notorious among my friends for not ever "getting angry," which is not true. Apparently I had a relatively bad temper when I was a little kid. Now I tend to do private outbursts of whatever emotion when I'm by myself, as opposed to public outbursts. In public I just tend to be mean instead of nice. But I do act "crazy," just not in the outburst of anger way.

[Froody Blue Gem]

I want everyone to be happy, and have a habit of holding back. I struggle to talk about my own emotions and it takes me some time to process them. I have gotten to the point of explosion at times, but many times I implode.

[Hermit Soul]

I bottle up my feelings 3/4 of the time, and I explode my feelings about 1/4 of the time.

During those times I explode, my anger tends to come out in the form of violence, and I'll start taking my anger out on objects around me.
I would slam doors, punch pillows, and throw things around the house.

Ooh and there was one time during my high school days when I got bullied in school, I bottled up all my emotions and then I went home and tore up the class photo.

[Pydex]

Generally, IEI will repress for a long time, then have a total explosion in total all at once (if he is unhealthy). The anger and emotional outburst is second to none. In those explosions they appear crazy or mentally ill to most people

[Adam Strange]

Generally, IEI will repress for a long time, then have a total explosion in total all at once (if he is unhealthy). The anger and emotional outburst is second to none. In those explosions they appear crazy or mentally ill to most people

This has been my experience with IEI’s as well.

One of my best friends in HS was an IEI. We’d be having what I thought of as a normal discussion, and then he’d suddenly go nuclear.

[Sol]

Fe are the least to hold loud emotional expressions of any kinds
introverts do it lesser

[cry]

I definitely repress.

I'm a partial 9w1.

[Chthonic Daydream]

Maybe they just cry in their room. I only had one epiode that I remember of where I went "insane" in the clinical sense. It was ridiculous, but I did it with people that I confined in and I considered close to me, so I don't regret it.

[Rebelondeck]

IEIs are normally not deliberate instigators and seem to prefer venting to independent third parties rather than confronting the sources of their emotional upheaval; benign sources tend to hear only final decisions from IEIs in a seeming rational fashion. Now if the sources are aggressive and try to corner them, IEIs will react defensively and all hell can break loose - so don't tear the mask off the Lone Ranger.....

a.k.a. I/O

[ashlesha]

Haven't seen bf do anything even approximating an explosion even once in 6 years. Not repression exactly, but withdrawal, clipped tone of voice, things like that. But I think a lot of it is related to upbringing. He never saw his parents blatantly argue even once. Passive (ie "appropriate" lol) expression is just how things were done.

My iei mom only expressed anger outright when she was drunk, but uh, drinking problems, yeah. She could express it very hm, forthrightly, during those moments, but probably not worth data compilation.

[Rebelondeck]

... Like if someone is low on the ‘hiararchy’ they are more likely to take their anger out on them (same goes for EIEs........

I've not seen IEIs take their anger out directly on plebs or belittle them to their face unlike some EIEs who seem to occasionally do it for effect; they're more likely to snub or isolate, or complain to others about how they've been wronged. Now, there can be axe-murderers of every type, only differing in how they go about doing the dirty deeds but then one is dealing with mental health and/or personal baggage - not type....

a.k.a. I/O

[Number 9 large]

Fe are the least to hold loud emotional expressions

Heh?

[WinnieW]

Heh?

Means most likely that Fe user don't repress the expression of emotions... but that's only partially true.
It depends if a person has Fe as a conscious function and if the fuction is valued.

People who have Fe as concious function have good control over their expression of emotions.

[The Reality Denialist]

As introverts they hold extroversion hidden in public. I seen and according to many sources they act like wild dramatic mad people around their close circle of people.

[Number 9 large]

Means most likely that Fe user don't repress the expression of emotions... but that's only partially true.
It depends if a person has Fe as a conscious function and if the fuction is valued.

People who have Fe as concious function have good control over their expression of emotions.

Cmon Fe users are the most obviously emotional ppl on the planet, esp leads

[WinnieW]

Cmon Fe users are the most obviously emotional ppl on the planet, esp leads

Fe base types are the most emotional expressive types; but not necessarily the most emotional types.

[Number 9 large]

Fe base types are the most emotional expressive types; but not necessarily the most emotional types.

thats why i said obvious ​mate

[WinnieW]

thats why i said obvious ​mate

Ok, thats what the word obvious means (at least in that case): open visible (for other people).

[Number 9 large]

Ok, thats what the word obvious means (at least in that case): open visible (for other people).

yes mate

[Disturbed]

It seems to me like Fe-valuing types have better control over their emotions and are less internally emotional than Fi-valuing types. Fi-valuing types seem more likely to explode. EIE-Ni is always in control, but they do let out their anger if they want to and they have amazing control over their muscles when they do so. And ILE-Ti is also always in control, especially if a psychopath but some do act like they're angry to get their way. And even if an ILE-Ti is aware that they're angry, they don't stay angry for long because they just start the process of getting rid of who or what makes them angry and they're optimistic that they'll have success so they don't stay angry for long.

All the ESI-Fi I know reflexively, involuntarily explode (they're just tense and feel more pressure internally than any other type so it just gets to the point where it comes out reflexively and it's never expressed humorously or beautifully). ESI-Se are calmer and more in control (I had one ESI-Se friend growing up who lost control a little bit once but he was pretty calm) and they can express their anger in popular, artistic ways that come across as humorous or creative (or both) unlike the Fi-subtype.

4 SLE-Ti friends I grew up with seemed to have at least moderate control of their anger, but all three were quite irritable and critical... probably due to a combination of not always getting what they wanted (and not smart enough to find a way to get their way unlike ILE-Ti), and two had drug and alcohol problems and one had aspergers' syndrome which is weird because one of the two who had drug and alcohol problems had social skills that were second-to-none and varied changeable interests.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I think every IEI is different, but me personally- I have been told I was too honest with people before. That I could be a bit more repressive lol (even tho generally yeah, repression is negative and unhealthy) Since I'm IEI tho, the opposite rule to everything probably applies to me. =p

You should be very careful who you express your feelings to really in this dog eat dog Game of Thrones ish/Walking Dead world. Even if they don't outright try to manipulate you or backstab/fuck you over with it- they still probably can't handle the truth as the movie goes. IEIs are good at heart to hearts, as are most ethical types- but getting things done in the real world is more about logical know how or something. And obviously, heart to heart doesn't work on everybody.

But then again, I think people judge other people for their feelings waaay too much anyway. Yeah, I crushed on douchebags I shouldn't- but I didn't do anything about them or stalk their houses like some people I know IRL would. It was just 'just a feeling' to me- even though I understood it was a STRONG feeling. But just a dumb feeling nonetheless. I still understood it was wise to avoid them - but its like I didn't get any credit, and I was judged on here for simply having emotions. Or if I have a strong fantasy about something, people will act like its reality lmao. I guess IEI fantasies are so strong, they turn into other people's reality? I think it's BS though. I don't think its so much that IEI can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality- I think its more like all the other types have this problem. LoL.

[Rebelondeck]

As introverts they hold extroversion hidden in public. I seen and according to many sources they act like wild dramatic mad people around their close circle of people.

Emotional stability is independent of type.

Also, "introvert" is a misleading word because I've met so-called introverted types who didn't seem to be, and so-called extroverts who were very withdrawn (unsure of themselves?). I think that internally-referenced people such as myself tend to exhibit more their externally-referenced components when in public; at work, many may even mistaken me for an extrovert (or at the least, a very engaged person) only because it's a job requirement. I've never gotten dramatic even amongst family although I've met a few ESIs and ILIs who went off the charts. It's only in safe, unstressed, familiar territory that our true natures can be observed; however, when observers are introduced, it is likely no longer familiar space so are observations valid. Also, much of what we observe is comprised of behaviour resulting from accumulated baggage that's not type related.....

a.k.a. I/O

EDIT: Not only is externally-referenced functioning more observable, it's often brought to the fore by Ips and Ijs when in unfamiliar situations.

[The Reality Denialist]

Emotional stability is independent of type.

Also, "introvert" is a misleading word because I've met so-called introverted types who didn't seem to be, and so-called extroverts who were very withdrawn (unsure of themselves?). I think that internally-referenced people such as myself tend to exhibit more their externally-referenced components when in public; at work, many may even mistaken me for an extrovert (or at the least, a very engaged person) only because it's a job requirement. I've never gotten dramatic even amongst family although I've met a few ESIs and ILIs who went off the charts. It's only in safe, unstressed, familiar territory that our true natures can be observed; however, when observers are introduced, it is likely no longer familiar space so are observations valid. Also, much of what we observe is comprised of behaviour resulting from accumulated baggage that's not type related.....

a.k.a. I/O

EDIT: Not only is externally-referenced functioning more observable, it's often brought to the fore by Ips and Ijs when in unfamiliar situations.

Model G for example says that introverts are more extroverted at close distance. I think extroverts usually close themselves from others when it comes to intimacy.