Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
I think I have dated an ESI-Se e6 who acted like she wanted the guy to suffer for her love. I've read this as being a characteristic of ESI's, but I haven't found it to be generally true; more like it's true of a certain flavor of ESI.

In retrospect, I'd say that the woman I dated had fairly low self-esteem. She owned her own business and I admired her for that, but whenever we'd talk about the possibility of going out together, she'd start asking me questions about my status with other, random women, as if she couldn't tolerate a hint of competition.
We went on one date a couple years ago and I really liked her, but she refused to go out with me again, saying that she understood that I liked her romantically but the feeling was not mutual. Nevertheless, she continued to contact me from time to time, and could be quite flirty at times. Not in person, but over the phone where it was safe.
I recently helped her with some advice on a job and when she came over to drop off some plants in my compost bin, I again asked her out. She said in a teasing voice that I'd have to bribe her. I told her I'd pay for lunch. She stood a little taller and asked me if I still thought she was fat. (This was a reference to my statement, years ago, that all the women I've dated have been really thin, which she, in her "I'm sure you hate me" mindset, took to mean that I thought she was fat, which is not what I said.) I told her she looked fine. I suddenly felt like I was in the description of ESI-LIE relationships that said that LIE's are supplicating knights to the ESI princess, which I can actually relate to, somewhat.
At this point, she glowered at me, with a look that someone would give to a person who just did something despicable but was out of that person's control, and she said she'd let me know when we could go out to lunch. Then she left.
That was two weeks ago and I've not heard a word from her, and I don't expect to.

Her ESI-ness is clearly attracted to my LIE-ness, but that's where the attraction ends. Somehow, she's looking for a guy who is more malleable than I am, more submissive. An LIE-Ni, perhaps. Certainly not an LIE e8.

She has some kind of screwed up push/pull thing going, where she feels she isn't good enough for anyone but still wants to be in control and dominate them. This isn't sadism, but neither is it anything that I want to participate in long-term.

This thread really puzzled me. I've know people who enjoyed hurting other people, some just occasionally, some consistently, but none of them have been ESI's.

I agree with @Sol when he says that sadism is not type-related. Well, not exactly type-related. ENTj's are said to be sadistic.

From https://www.the16types.info/info/types/ENTJ.htm
 Disorder Perspective


The personality disorder which is a pathological representation of the Agressive personality type is the Sadistic Personality Disorder.

Basic belief: I need power over others. Thinking strategy Sadism.


I used to think that LIE's were not sadistic, but I've since modified my opinion to think that some LIE's can be sadistic, sometimes.
Yeah I have dated in the past a ESI who was like you describe...not my thing, too complicated. She was in a way appealing but not if you have a full-time job or other stuff to do.