I message and ask this girl if she's going to the halloween event and after being anxious for about an hour and a half she finally gets back to me and tells me yea. I just invite myself to go with her and ask her what time she'll be there and after another anxious hour she tells me she just arrived. So I rush over to the place which is on the other side of town, get there only to find out parking is through the roof, I tell the guy I'm gonna just leave and exit the event, but end up sneaking into parking anyway because I can't turn around and go home after making it this far, I didn't even know this girl was gonna hit me back and she did, there's no way. I finally meet up with her and she's there with her mom and a friend. I figured she'd at least have her mom and an extra person, come to find out the friend is, if I had to guess her type based off tonight, an EII-Fi, and the mom is probably EIE-Fe, Fe dom for sure. Or just an Fe super charged ILE, idk.
So we are off on our way to the attractions, and this girl just confirms how LSE she is, she literally spends time most of the way towards attractions planning out a route on her phone to get the the next ride with the shortest wait time. She's walking out front leading the whole way, and me her friend and mom are following her around as she plans these routes. She picked attractions to go to that had the shortest wait time instead of which attractions were best. On top of that, I came dressed like I was going to see a girl but go to a theme park at the same time, so a little nice but casual at the same time. She came dressed appropriate for the weather, it was hot, she had a baseball cap on, shorts, a white tee shirt, a fanny pack with all her stuff in, and athletic walking sneakers, claiming it's too hot to be wearing make up and all that stuff, and that I should have know how the weather was gonna be.
Most of the time we did not talk a whole lot, she spent time leading routes to attractions and chatting with her friend and mom, and making the occasional comment to me. The WHOLE time I was so in my head, trying to figure out how to fit in her little group, make the group accept me, warm up to me, feeling like maybe they are asking "Why is he here?" just overthinking the whole thing, while also making some jokey comment here and there like a try hard that wants to be liked
. When we went to the attractions it was fun, but on the way to each one I had my own little torment going on, worried about us not talking enough and how to get the approval of her friend and mom. Practically went on a date with the mom the whole night.
The last attraction was a roller coaster. She wanted to go and asked me if I was up for it, hell yes, but her mom and friend were not up for it. So her mom told her she'd stay with the friend and hold our stuff while we went on it. YES! Finally. Just us two doing something. The wait is about 35 mins before we get on the ride. The whole time we were in line our interaction was so by the book socionics it's not even funny. First thing we talk about is how she invited a friend to do this a few days before with her, and that friend never showed up, so she cut them off, blocked them, all that. I react like damn that's harsh and she starts saying that she is quick to cut people off who are "fake" and not genuine, and how alot of friends of her's drop like flies. The whole time I'm telling her, damn you should give people a second chance, that's harsh, you'll never have any real friends that way, and she insists she's fine with out them, she doesn't care. Idk if it was a front or not, good wisdom tells me it is but who knows. She even brings up the boyfriend she broke up with for a brief second and says that it was her fault with that special case. The whole time I'm just giving her advice pretty much saying to give people second chances and not cut them off so quick. I ask her how is she ever gonna get a real friend, and she tells me "When someone genuine and real comes along." She tells me she feels the world is not real anymore, people are fake. I ask her if she can tell when people are being genuine and she tells me she can tell when their actions show it. She also tells me she's not really close to anyone. Not even her friend that she brought with her mom today. But she also says she'll probably never cut her off because she's not the type of person that will "ghost" her like other's have. I tell her some parts about my life and my friends and when I brought up some childhood issues she seemed really tuned into what I was saying, but when I spoke about how I have old friends form highschool and I've only ever cut off one person in my life, idk she stopped looking me in the eye and seemed to not be as into what I was saying, congratulating me on my highschool remaining friendships like I was bragging about them. We went on the roller coaster and it was great. Before she leaves I bring up the fact that she's an extrovert, she insists she's an antisocial introvert, yea right, and that her mom is one too, yea right, and then I take a long ride home feeling like I just finished a counseling session lol.
We had a really honest talk really fast, I also realized I went there with really idealistic day dreams of how I wanted things to go, and what happened was I met a real person, not just the pretty face I thought she was at work, but a real person with real problems. I def saw the whole duals balance each other out thing, because most of the issues she brought up felt like, not to sound condescending but, "Why are you having problems with that?" and her view of Fi seems similar and different to my own, more looking up at Fi as some sort of big deal, while for me it's like "duh", not to sound condescending again lol. Anyway, it was a good time, I def got a reality check and the rosey glasses I had of her before are gone, but at least I saw a more real version of her, def saw past the pretty face, not as desperate to pursue her anymore, but still interested in getting to know her more at least.
Originally Posted by Adam Strange
There is a really good chance that you are overthinking this.
Reply With Quote
- 
(as per tcaudilllg)
