Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
Hm.

About this whole topic of trusting the heart. Actually I think there's a reason if it feels unnatural - precisely because it is, for some people. Sure it can do this "emotional experience bank" or whatever to call it, with checking the pluses and minuses, but for some people I don't think it's easily affordable to just run with that. Following the heart unconditionally for such people is very rarely an option. Because it involves more risk than for most other people.

I agree though eventually you cannot avoid risk, no matter how rational you try to be about the process when it comes to personal relationships.

I liked @End 's note on the risk and being all in and trust. I also do see it as an all or nothing thing ...

And @Singu yeah well, I agree about the risk but the emotional "give and take" of a relationship does still work in the way you say it does not, it's just less directly shown - eventually if the scores are not even enough, resentment and other negative feelings will build up in the heart and so on. So yes, it is still about "materialistic returns" in that way. It is unavoidable. Just like rational fairness and obligation is also an integral part of relationships. Relationships are not just "made of" feelings and emotions in this fashion. They would be unsustainable that way.

I overall kinda see where @Adam Strange gets seen too detached with trying to socionify all the relationship aspects. But I don't think he just thinks of the women as "wife material" or "not wife material". Just the feelings are not expressed as much but I'd imagine they are there alright.
To quote an ESI to whom I told that I have no feelings, "There is a difference between not having feelings and not talking about them."