What's your favorite instinct stacking?

[Chae]

It probably depends on how they relate to you (as a friend, partner, relative...).

But on average, what stacking appeals to you the most in another person, in contrast to the other variant combinations?

Perhaps you also noticed that a specific enneagram type comes with it, mention this as well.



To me it's either SO/SX or SP/SX. Fellow SX firsts - too intense. Ideally, it's like how I relate to @niffer but in general, secondary SX is better for me and them somehow. The SX lasts - not intimate enough, respectively. If I had to decide between the two of them, heart triad SO/SX wins by slight margin. My SP/SX favorites usually coincide with head triad types. Maybe SO/SP makes the top three complete, I get on well with them and find what they say sympathetic in many cases.

[Chae]

@Medusa

[Olimpia]

Friendship-wise, SO/SX is clearly the most enjoyable and fitting stacking for me. It feels the most natural and effortless.

Romantic relationship-wise,

SO/SX can fall a bit short because of the identical strengths and weaknesses, which can cause some frustration, especially if one person becomes more unhealthy. And I'd rather be with someone who can complement my weakness(es).

That's why romantically, I tend to prefer SX first or even SO/SP.

SO/SP is an interesting and mysterious stacking to me, because it seems both so similar and different at the same time. On a closer level, it is probably not that great, though. So I would not choose SO/SP as my main favourite romantic stacking.

I find it difficult to choose between SX/SO and SX/SP. Both have their positives and negatives which can please or annoy me in different ways. For a more stable long-term relationship with children, SX/SP (or SO/SP for that matter) is probably better. The good SP can be helpful, because once I get unhealthy my SP usually gets sorely neglected or OCD. And it could be nice to have someone who can bring me on a good stable path in that regard and handle other SP-related matters for our household. However, the SO blindspot could be isolating. That's why I could only see myself with an SX/SP who happened to be more inclined to social interactions.* SX/SO people have the appealing strong SO instinct and SX intensity/romanticism, but they lack the SP like myself, which could be problematic when it comes to the stable-married-life-with-kids-scenario.

So I remain slightly undecided here, perhaps slightly favouring an extroverted and/or more sociable SX/SP over SX/SO.

All in all: SO/SX (friendship) and SX/SP (relationship).

*More "sociable" Sx/Sp people tend to be either 2, 3, 6w7, or 7w6 core and/or be ExFx.

[niffer]

Hi. I would answer more definitively but I don't feel I have a strong handle on the theory yet. I would agree that sx first or second is probably important to me for closer relationships. I think it somehow encapsulates the way I connect with people. Not-as-sx or sx last people can be compelling to me in a different way... I think they make me feel like I kind of have to look harder for the hidden sx in them deep down. But I think they may find it annoying when I do this after a while and I get tired of putting so much effort in.

[Chae]

Yeah it'd be really hard to bring out what they just don't prioritize and it would be uncomfortable for both, that's like asking an LII for .

[dot]

Definitely so/sx for friendships so far.. like I even have sp/sx friends but they are not that close and I like to strive with friends towards fulfilling social-causes.. I like feeling the drive to 'rise in ranks' with my friends, who are also focused on this.. like they naturally get who I am and just like me they try to become respected members of society through what they do and what they later wanna do in life.
A sp/sx friend and me went seperate ways, because eventually we wouldn't be on the same wavelength, like I admit I want to connect with many people especially 'high-ranking' people or people whom I deem cool/likeable/interested in the same stuff I am.. and she didn't seem to care and I didn't like her friends, so it was a bit hard to stay close because we went very different paths socially.

Romance wise I really have no idea.. I don't think I care that much when it comes to relationships at this point of life.. but sx-last might be as stated too distant.. but who knows whom I will meet and whom will swoon me anyways?
I have a so/sp friend and while we have some things in common I feel there is a certain turn off for me when it comes to so/sp people, like it feels you are easily replacable and just there to secure their place in the group. Two other people I know in real life.. and whom I suspect to be this stacking have the exact same vibe to them, like if you aren't good/useful enough they will drop you.
I never romantically met a sx/sp man IRL yet (at least consciously recognising one).. so gotta see if that is something I like.. but so-last people have this earth-bound feeling to me, like they feel like 'local' people to me. And I would be scared to feel caged or deprived of my opportunities. Maybe like Cassandra stated I would consider someone so-last for marriage? And I also like sx/so people, but their love lives seem intense.. woah.

My EIE roommate might be sx/sp.. we have a bit of a different focus in life, but I think it would be somehow possible to partially incorporate her in some stuff I do.. sx/sp people are interested in getting to know people after all.. and the ones I identified as sx/sp so far seemed to be popular actually. Like I saw them having a big and stable circle of friends actually. But they seem to be less interested in mingling with new folks.. at least that's what I think I noticed, not sure.

[Chae]

It's so fitting that SO/SX already appears to champion the popularity contest Social first, synflow, SX in right doses --> makes sense actually! IRL I know a lot of ethical types of this stacking that embody the popular guy/girl archetype to a T, especially the extroverts.

I think on the other hand, SP/SX is the unpopular insider tip. You can see it on the forum, they sit in the shadows a bit and tend to have few bonds with members, but very special and strong ones. Meanwhile, SO/SX is very adapted and broadcasts themselves so they will often be liked instantly.

[Olimpia]

I'd say on this forum, SP/SX is actually more popular. Which stacking is your favourite largely depends on your own. Most people on here are SO blindspot, followed by SX/SO. They just haven't responded to this thread yet. Likely because they don't feel too confident in the instincts theory yet.

[Chae]

I'd say on this forum, SP/SX is actually more popular. Which stacking is your favourite largely depends on your own. Most people on here are SO blindspot, followed by SX/SO. They just haven't responded to this thread yet. Likely because they don't feel too confident in the instincts theory yet.

This forum is another level there ikr, the question applies to all people in your life so, anyway. We'll see! But I do experience SO/SX more as universally relatable to all in some way, by their very nature. One important factor when selecting is likely flow, niche people like niche ones and vice versa for synstackings. You may not explicitly say you like them but one's clique usually gives it away

[dot]

It's so fitting that SO/SX already appears to champion the popularity contest Social first, synflow, SX in right doses --> makes sense actually! IRL I know a lot of ethical types of this stacking that embody the popular guy/girl archetype to a T, especially the extroverts.

I think on the other hand, SP/SX is the unpopular insider tip. You can see it on the forum, they sit in the shadows a bit and tend to have few bonds with members, but very special and strong ones. Meanwhile, SO/SX is very adapted and broadcasts themselves so they will often be liked instantly.

My mother is ESE-Fe and probably so/sx and e2.. she is like.. the most popular person I ever met.. I barely if almost never met someone who didn't like her. She da queen bee and very kind on top of that.. it's hard to dislike her. So I agree with your theory.

I as an introvert and Ni-dom though and more of a natural outsider I have hurt my 'so' in the past.. Ti-Ha can be very annoying for people and being a dramatic Beta-bitch can stir up lots of drama. But I always was able to relate to the popular and unpopular and gain the favour of people of both 'groups'. I just honestly don't like most people, so it is hard for me to stay focused on people, since I am not interested in most of them (in certain cases to protect myself socially though I indeed become interested in a person, whom I usually wouldn't have been interested in). It's true that so/sx has a hard time focusing on people they aren't interested in. But I do have very special and deep bonds with two other so/sx's. I always struggled with social aspects in the past.. but was able to control it since some intense experiences and feel better about it since then. I met quite a few Ni-doms that said they were told there was something wrong with the way they are/think and I think so-first Ni-doms feel thus especially pressured (just my own theory though).

Someone in the so/sx thread stated that so/sx people will indeed show who actually is in their favour. And that is very true.. I am very loyal to my squad.. AND someone else said so/sp are usually the ones who initially and naturally are more popular (I can kinda see it), but so/sx has the potential to become ultimately popular. We also value life-long friendships aka 'the bestie'.
I could see so/sp as politicians or yes I even know a young German actress who might be so/sp.. I feel they are more the sophisticated, resource-focused social people.. so/sx are more part of the common 'people'.. more likeable in general.. more grounded and indeed very 'human'.

But we still are aristocratic bitches when it comes to close friends. Like I am very picky with my close friends.

Yes sp/sx people seem very 'real'.. my former friend didn't really care about my social status at all.. she just accepted me.. very tolerant folks.

[Chae]

My mother is ESE-Fe and probably so/sx and e2.. she is like.. the most popular person I ever met.. I barely if almost never met someone who didn't like her. She da queen bee and very kind on top of that.. it's hard to dislike her. So I agree with your theory.

I as an introvert and Ni-dom though and more of a natural outsider I have hurt my 'so' in the past.. Ti-Ha can be very annoying for people and being a dramatic Beta-bitch can stir up lots of drama. But I always was able to relate to the popular and unpopular and gain the favour of people of both 'groups'. I just honestly don't like most people, so it is hard for me to stay focused on people, since I am not interested in most of them (in certain cases to protect myself socially though I indeed become interested in a person, whom I usually wouldn't have been interested in). It's true that so/sx has a hard time focusing on people they aren't interested in. But I do have very special and deep bonds with two other so/sx's. I always struggled with social aspects in the past.. but was able to control it since some intense experiences and feel better about it since then. I met quite a few Ni-doms that said they were told there was something wrong with the way they are/think and I think so-first Ni-doms feel thus especially pressured (just my own theory though).

Someone in the so/sx thread stated that so/sx people will indeed show whom actually is in their favour. And that is very true.. I am very loyal to my squad.. AND someone else said so/sp are usualy the ones who initially and naturally are more popular (I can kinda see it), but so/sx has the potential to become ultimately popular. We also value life-long friendships aka 'the bestie'.
I could see so/sp as politicians or yes I even know a young German actress who might be so/sp.. I feel they are more the sophisticated, resource-focused social people.. so/sx are more part of the common 'people'.. more likeable in general.. more grounded and indeed very 'human'.

But we still are aristocratic bitches when it comes to close friends. Like I am very picky with my close friends.

Yes sp/sx people seem very 'real'.. my former friend didn't really care about my social status at all.. she just accepted me.. very tolerant folks.

I know a gay guy with that combination as well. Biggest social network at our university! It shows that he hasn't integrated 4 yet, he seems to have no separate agenda on his own but really just consists of the needs of others - impossibly compassionate and kind man, it's so unreal. What's her wing? He's 2w3, it adds a "polished" element.

IEI really is in between there I guess, so is your enneagram variant. Social 4, that's quite a paradox. Yeah, you won't people-please like a 2 would so it's understandable you'd make bigger distinguishments, also based on the aristocratic group thinking (hence also your loyalty). They probably were 4s as well, when they hear "something's wrong with you" they take it personally the most.

Very good separation of SO/SP and SO/SX. The secondary SX comes out and will keep the persons hooked. SO/SP is too economical for the long run. SX/SO and SO/SP are the god tiers of the stackings, the uberhumans. SO/SX is what connects us all. Not like the SX/SO superstar or SO/SP politician, or maybe even the SX/SP Magician who's also a bit out of this world, take Rihanna.

Yes, I also like that they don't seem to care one bit. Except for their one-to-one contacts, that makes them so unique and grounded.

[flames]

Sp last for friends and sp/sx as a lover.

[Chae]

Sp last for friends and sp/sx as a lover.

Yeeeesss this is the essence, agreed - I would handle it like that as well. SP/SX is also a common XLI stacking so it makes sense.

[flames]

Yeeeesss this is the essence, agreed - I would handle it like that as well. SP/SX is also a common XLI stacking so it makes sense.

Yes. 548 would be nice as tritype too since I feel like that's the enneagram version of sp/sx.

[Olimpia]

Yes. 548 would be nice as tritype too since I feel like that's the enneagram version of sp/sx.

That's actually a classic ILI tritype.

[darya]

Sx/so=sp/sx > so/sx. Least likable so/sp and most foreign sp/so.

[Adam Strange]

Sp last for friends and sp/sx as a lover.

Sp/sx is my favorite, too. It complements my sx/so. Good attraction, keeps thing from getting too crazy.

[flames]

That's actually a classic ILI tritype.

Sx/so=sp/sx > so/sx. Least likable so/sp and most foreign sp/so.

I totally agree. I find so/sp disgustingly cold and snobby and sp/so is just too different.

Sp/sx is my favorite, too. It complements my sx/so. Good attraction, keeps thing from getting too crazy.

Yeah, they bring the brakes to me and I show them how to live a little. Plenty of ESIs with that stacking as well.

[Chae]

Yes. 548 would be nice as tritype too since I feel like that's the enneagram version of sp/sx.

Cool, 5w6 as a core type or 5w4? I prefer the 6-wing, and a 9/2 fix. I had my own strong and weak e-types in mind so together it covers the entire circle.

SP/SX 5 is the castle... extremely hard to love. They fear intimacy and intrusion. That's why you either need some SEE Elvis to put on a show they can analyse or the IEE Psychologist cracking their code to open up Or SEE's wrecking ball for the castle walls



Interesting observation: you chose your integration point as your dual, while you have your dual's integration point as a wing. Damn boy, this is a good move.

[darya]

I find so/sp disgustingly cold

Yup, lizardly.

[Olimpia]

What makes So/Sp "colder" than Sp/So to you?

Or are they both equally "cold" because of SX blindspot?

[flames]

Cool, 5w6 as a core type or 5w4? I prefer the 6-wing, and a 9/2 fix. I had my own strong and weak e-types in mind so together it covers the entire circle.

SP/SX 5 is the castle... extremely hard to love. They fear intimacy and intrusion. That's why you either need some SEE Elvis to put on a show they can analyse or the IEE Psychologist cracking their code to open up Or SEE's wrecking ball for the castle walls



Interesting observation: you chose your integration point as your dual, while you have your dual's integration point as a wing. Damn boy, this is a good move.

4 wing of course

I'm fine other tritypes too, like 9 instead of 8 and such.

Yeah, regarding the observation, I think it totally fits for a reason. I've told a few people who were my duals before that I wish I could be more passive and content with watching like them.

[flames]

What makes So/Sp "colder" than Sp/So to you?

Or are they both equally "cold" because of SX blindspot?

They are focused on the social world and will basically do what they need to to maintain their position and disregard close relationships or intense feelings. They are social but they struggle to actually get close to people. And many of them just have cold and haughty attitudes for some reason, even the ones on here (won't name unless you need the examples).

Stereotypically, I think of sx/so and so/sp as the "EIE" stackings - they're both social and intense but in different ways. Sx/so is the more raw, recklessly revolutionary kind and so/sp is like the ice cold queen who is too good to interact with the peasants. I think of so/sp as a paradox in many ways.

[Simo]

for friends: anything as long as it is not sx-last, specially not so/sp since I am so-last
for a lover: I think I gravitate more to sx-first, sx/so > sx/sp

[Chae]

4 wing of course

I'm fine other tritypes too, like 9 instead of 8 and such.

Yeah, regarding the observation, I think it totally fits for a reason. I've told a few people who were my duals before that I wish I could be more passive and content with watching like them.

*poetically* 5w4... bridging the heart and the mind...

The gut center isn't too important among ILIs either.

Mh yeah, and they could use your assertion. Swapping souls through duality That happens with instincts as well: SP first teaches SP last quite a lot, much like SO second moderates SO last.

[darya]

They are focused on the social world and will basically do what they need to to maintain their position and disregard close relationships or intense feelings. They are social but they struggle to actually get close to people. And many of them just have cold and haughty attitudes for some reason, even the ones on here (won't name unless you need the examples).

Stereotypically, I think of sx/so and so/sp as the "EIE" stackings - they're both social and intense but in different ways. Sx/so is the more raw, recklessly revolutionary kind and so/sp is like the ice cold queen who is too good to interact with the peasants. I think of so/sp as a paradox in many ways.

I agree. And sp/so has more of a earthy, every day guy, slightly matronly/patronly feel, which seems warmer and less aloof than so/sp.

[Olimpia]

I've concluded that SX/SP would be slightly better for a romantic relationship for me (long-term wise etc.), though at the moment I am really not in the right mindset to be with someone who is SO blindspot, being not particularly healthy in the SO area atm. I feel like I both need SO help and SP stability... That might explain why I've been more attracted to some SO/SP guys recently.

I feel like I could only be with an SX/SP guy without much trouble if I was healthier SO-wise... Then, his SO blindspot wouldn't be an issue.

[Chae]

so/sp is like the ice cold queen who is too good to interact with the peasants.

Wouldn't that be more SP-first-like? EIE SO/SP does mingle, just in the circles profitable to them. It's still in charge there unless the aristocracy is really extreme. Through some reclusive type influence for instance. Though EIE was just an example to describe the spirit yeah.

[flames]

*poetically* 5w4... bridging the heart and the mind...

The gut center isn't too important among ILIs either.

Mh yeah, and they could use your assertion. Swapping souls through duality That happens with instincts as well: SP first teaches SP last quite a lot, much like SO second moderates SO last.

Yeah, I love hearing tips from @Starfall on things for example.

I agree. And sp/so has more of a earthy, every day guy, slightly matronly/patronly feel, which seems warmer and less aloof than so/sp.

Exactly.

Wouldn't that be more SP-first-like? EIE SO/SP does mingle, just in the circles profitable to them. It's still in charge there unless the aristocracy is really extreme. Through some reclusive type influence for instance. Though EIE was just an example to describe the spirit yeah.

No, sp first is just within themselves they don't normally exclude people on purpose unless it's an sp/sx who doesn't want to deal with someone's shit for practical reasons. So/sp is kind of excluding without even trying because it's just the nature of their instincts, compared to so/sx which has trouble excluding people and will often let people go too far with things.

[lynn]

hmm.. i dunno. in general sx-first & sp/sx, i think. because these are the only stackings i can sustain a personal one-on-one bond with. so/sx can be comfortable, but after 2 min. of interaction i already feel the need to occupy myself with other stuff. i'm not really interested in the social instinct in others, the less the better ... even sp/so and sx/so with too much focus on SO can be too much. (though it's not negative with so-seconds, it's just that interaction feels a bit pointless) sometimes i venture into sx-last spheres to somehow get a few things in my life on track, which i otherwise neglect, but it's very difficult to have a personal bond with an sx-last and that's very uncomfortable for me. also for romantic relationships i find sp/sos intimacy issues unappealing. so/sp is easier than sp/so for friendships or even (romantic) relationships, because they can actually still treat you like an individual person (rather than an 'audience' like sp/so sometimes seems to interact with others), but it's one of the most dysfunctional relationship dynamics for me. it always feels toxic.

[Chae]

Yeah, I love hearing tips from @Starfall on things for example.

No, sp first is just within themselves they don't normally exclude people on purpose unless it's an sp/sx who doesn't want to deal with someone's shit for practical reasons. So/sp is kind of excluding without even trying because it's just the nature of their instincts, compared to so/sx which has trouble excluding people and will often let people go too far with things.

Great

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being". Take Harrison Ford as an example. I do see how they don't do it on purpose, but the ice is coming through you know, they come across like it. SO/SP's filter is their secondary instinct which stops what the social instinct first adapts to. Like the Hillary Clinton method. Yeah yeah smile at everything all social issues are important I advocate for you all I'm the beacon of society... but ba-boom, here is where I draw the line for myself. The exclusion doesn't occur until a certain point. SO/SX yes, that's precise.

[ashlesha]

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being".

LOL at the accuracy. Even tho I don't feel icy inside or anything.

I can't answer the op's question because I don't type a lot of people's instincts, even with my inner circle I'm only guessing but if I'm right it seems I end up closer to other sp firsts statistically more often, for whatever reason.

[Chae]

LOL at the accuracy. Even tho I don't feel icy inside or anything.

I can't answer the op's question because I don't type a lot of people's instincts, even with my inner circle I'm only guessing but if I'm right it seems I end up closer to other sp firsts statistically more often, for whatever reason.

The icy effect is more on the outside for the general people (--> SO) who don't get through to SP/SX. That's why instinct compatibility puts SP/SX and SX/SO together, SX is so energetic and frankly quite obtrusive, it really brings the heat. And they melt through SP naturally, getting to the secondary SX or SP/SX with ease.

SP and SP go well together, both are extremely stable. The most durable relationships are usually between SP/SX and SP/SO. Your certainly plays a role as well, your affections don't just change in a volatile SX or SO way. So, it needs a secure bank, and what is more secure than self-preservation?

[Chae]

To some extent, I'd like to put SX/SP high on the favorite list if I didn't know how we evolve. There is something so exciting about this instinct combination: going all out! But always ready to use the breaks. The clash of their two drives is astounding.

And what it means to others is secondary, just the thrill and the self-nurture is what counts. It creates the most interesting personalities and unforgettable intimate partners.

[flames]

Great

I would suggest SP/SX as the ice queen for that very reason: self-occupied and filtering people through SX: "too busy with myself to deal with peasantry (that I'm not even half aware of) - but this one's interesting, I like them. Gotta let them in for once, it helps my well-being". Take Harrison Ford as an example. I do see how they don't do it on purpose, but the ice is coming through you know, they come across like it. SO/SP's filter is their secondary instinct which stops what the social instinct first adapts to. Like the Hillary Clinton method. Yeah yeah smile at everything all social issues are important I advocate for you all I'm the beacon of society... but ba-boom, here is where I draw the line for myself. The exclusion doesn't occur until a certain point. SO/SX yes, that's precise.

Yeah. It's also a matter of personal outlook as well, I'm sure some people would see sp/sx icier than others depending on how well they can take that type of person. I'm sure most people would find an so/sp more easy to deal with than an sp/sx, etc.

[flames]

To some extent, I'd like to put SX/SP high on the favorite list if I didn't know how we evolve. There is something so exciting about this instinct combination: going all out! But always ready to use the breaks. The clash of their two drives is astounding.

And what it means to others is secondary, just the thrill and the self-nurture is what counts. It creates the most interesting personalities and unforgettable intimate partners.

The attraction is there. I prefer sp/sx just because I know that with sx + sx there would be little stopping us.

[Chae]

The attraction is there. I prefer sp/sx just because I know that with sx + sx there would be little stopping us.

I'd be surprised if it was absent since SX is pure attraction Same, SX/SO being a loose cannon needs a grounded (SP) influence (SX). Two SX leads up close... that's a trip.

[Olimpia]

I don't find any stacking inherently "cold". Dismissively attached people are "cold", not stackings.

Though I understand how the SX blindspot could be perceived as "cold" on an intimate level. Typically SX blindspot people won't ever yearn for or attempt to create that intensely "merged" connection with another human being. There won't ever be a real "merging" going on. They can love their partner a lot, but in terms of intensity it might not come across much like that at all. And this can seem "cold". I wouldn't make a difference between So/Sp and Sp/So in that respect.

Regarding Sp/Sx, I actually find they can be a rather "warm" stacking.

It depends on the instinct we are focusing on. I find So/Sp is warm with their SO instinct, they can be very gracious, inviting, sociable, etc. Sp/So can also be warm with their SO, but in my experience they are are actually warmer through their SP. Cooking for the family tends to fill them with joy. Sp/Sx can also be warm through their SP like that, or they are "hot" with their SX. It all depends, imo.

P.S: Sp/Sx can be cold in regard to SO related things, like Chae pointed out earlier and lungs confirmed that.

[ashlesha]

How is sx/so > sp/sx different than se > ni?
Like I get that it's different but the way you guys are talking it sounds sort of similar and I'm curious how you'd spell it out.

[dot]

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