I have known her for 15 years. We met in high school and immediately became best friends. She was extremely popular, but in a "that strange kid is cool" kinda way. Even the cool crowd wanted to hang out with her (and probably found it strange that we were such good friends, because I was not really in the spotlight). But she hung out with whoever she wanted, mostly with other "strange kids." She enjoyed partying, drinking, socializing, and the "deep deep deep' conversations that 17-year-olds have and that make them feel so "different." I have had them, too, lol.
For some reason she is hard to describe. She is tough with a soft spot and probably the most resilient person I know. She overcame severe depression and alcoholism all on her own through hardcore therapy. She refuses medication and would rather work on herself. She hated it when I went on medication. She comes across as reserved and polite and perhaps a bit unapproachable, but nice (not particularly warm). She is not very emotionally expressive and only talks about personal feelings and such with close friends (mostly me and her sister who I believe is ESFp, but I am not sure).
She is a hard worker and what she wants to get done, she gets done without a fuss. She studied social work, is working as a social worker now and is starting to work on her dissertation. Sometimes she also has another job on the side. She is the tough love kind of social worker and very respected.
She is not necessarily the person I would turn to when I need to talk about my emotions and fears and frustrations and such although I most certainly could. I feel more comfortable doing that with my ESFp friends. But we are very close and she has been there for me when I really needed someone. I think it is that I fear she could judge me because she is somewhat judgmental. She does not understand why I live in the US because she thinks people have no culture and sophistication here and are ignorant. She does not watch tv, love classical music and "good" literature and takes pride in all of that. She does not understand why people would waste their time with computer games, in chatrooms, on the internet, watching mindless tv, etc. And she says it, too. She does have a tendency of seeing herself as more mature and "enlightened" than other people, which also makes her appear judgemental.
She is very loyal and caring and very practical. We have become closer and talked a lot more since my recent ordeal, which is nice. She really misses me and tells me so, which is also nice. We have a lot of fun when we hang out. But I feel I can never feel quite as comfortable with her as I can with my ESFp friends, around whom I can really be myself. It is like this friend does not know me quite as well as they do because her world and mine are different in some way I can't put my finger on.
In a nutshell, she is loyal, practical, critical, independent, hard working, accomplished, respected, nice in a polite way at first, but can be silly when you know her better, does not express emotions much, is not open about her inner life, enjoys people and hanging out with them, a bit judgemental. And for a partner she likes women (she is a lesbian) who are warm, expressive, nice, loyal, sweet.
She is closest to me and her sister, so probably two ExFps, but as I sad, I am not sure about her sister's type.
Any ideas?