werd baby.
LOL
werd baby.
LOL
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
I knew a guy who may have been my Illusionary, but I'm not sure. We got along extremely well, and we had similar interests. Our energy complemented each other; mine is frenetic and spurting/flashing, while his was more stable/moody/deep. We were very good friends - never physically or romantically involved, but I loved him and vice versa (in a non-romantic way). Very close. He viewed me somewhat as someone to look after, I believe. I don't know how we would have done romantically; I might have driven him crazy. Then again, perhaps not. I only got mad at him a couple times. Both times, he tried to clear things up, and I wasn't interested. Very patient guy. Anyway...Great to hang out with, wonderful to talk to, and definitely fun, even if he wasn't physically high-energy (though I never noticed it back then). I don't think we'd get the important things said, though, not at least without many efforts/a long deciding period or both. I don't know how much we'd get done, either. *shrugs* He was at least responsible enough to pull a B average. Can't say whether he'd motivate me.
I don't know whether that would be Illusionary or not.
Last edited by Cuddly McFluffles; 02-26-2008 at 06:33 PM.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
I have to. We no longer speak...for complicated reasons not at all pertaining to our ability to get along.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
I just realized an odd pattern with illusionaries. Maybe this is what the desciptions mean when they say that illusionaries "deactivate" each other?
At a distance, verbal/textual interaction with an illusionary is 'euphoric'. It makes me smile & laugh. It sorta revs my pulse and makes me feel mentally/emotionally elated. It's a humming sort of giddiness that leaves me feeling "chuckly" and warm toward my illusionary.
In person, there seems to be a deactivating physical quality; a physical energy drain for no apparent reason..
Whenever I hang out with my illusionary for more than 5 or 6 hours, we're utterly exhausted. Just lying around, feeling drained and mentally foggy. All of our plans for the day dissipate into nothingness - we can barely make it off the couch for food. We went to Oceanside CA and Tijuana once and ended up sleeping for 12-14 hours each day, even though we did almost *nothing* for the rest of the day. [When apart, we're both pretty active people though I couldn't hold a candle to the ILE's energy levels (LOL).]
My SLE friend has an illusionary that he sees on a fairly regular basis. After hanging out with her for a couple of days, he is almost catatonic and complaining of having zero energy. We hang out for a day or so and he's fine again - relaxed but not manic (like he is when we dont see each other for a while) or catatonic (like he is after too much time with his illusionary).
Duality descriptions claim that duals achieve a positive energy balance (i.e. restoration) through proximity, even without speaking. This is part of the draw - a need to be restored; to reclaim a feeling of safety and rest. From what I'm observing, illusionaries have the opposite physical effect.
interesting. i could see how things could go this way. don't know any SEI's to compare to and haven't noticed it myself with IEI's, more evidence of cross type.
i'd say that me and infpman could tend toward physical relaxation, but one of us will always do something to get us both going. i'm not sure how i'd explain this socionically. it's like i'll just start moving and getting stuff done. this motivates him to do the same. at other times, we'll be all lazy and relaxed and he'll be like c'mon let's get up, now! and we'll get moving on something. for example, i'm remembering a time when something had to be moved out of the basement and into the garage, he was lazy and like let's do it later and i'm like no, c'mon, let's do it right now or we'll blow it off later. then i just started moving and he did too.
we'll go to bed early a lot, but not so we can sleep. lol.
it seems like we have similar social needs, too. like i need about as much time with my friends as he needs with his. we need similar amounts of time together with other people, together alone and lazy, and together busy doing something. i would have to say though his energy level is lower than mine, but then again, his job is more physical and mine is more desk, so that could account for the difference.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
Wow. This is SPOT on with ILEs and me. The "euphoria" is so addicting, we can not keep away from eachother for too long despite that physical draining thing you mention. It's sad really, that something so euphoric at first will never quite live up to it's idyllic promise, eh?
But it's not that bad.. we are always drawn to eachother anyway and I do always feel warm and fuzzy towards ILEs. It gets awkward with too much time in person, almost as if there is this one barrier that is stopping us from being perfect together.
Are all relationships illusions ??
Is life an illusion ?????
God I sound like an INTp
yeah i love his ass. he loves mine too. we put each other in our places too. sometimes i know i need that, unfortunately. but i do feel very lucky to have found such a great guy after all that shit connected to my divorce from SLE man.
keep your mind open about compatibility i say....life has a way of working on you and others to develop strengths you never thought you'd have....and don't forget the spiritual aspect, too. faith can help transcend compatibility failures if there are any.
but as you say zenbrat...you kinda like SLE and ILE, so from my point of view, it seems like you are already there! your perfect man could be on his way or right there in front of you :-)
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
It seems that duals miss each other in the beginning, and the extrovert is especially likely to overlook the introvert. Is it the same between illusionaries?
I'm guessing it would be, since your illusionary's creative function is the same as your dual's....
I love you too, songofsappho.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
I don't quite understand this "overlooking" aspect so much, typically I don't find SiTe and I in areas of the same interests. I tend to encounter more NiTe if I had to make a guess, and I tend to have a strange interaction with them. This deals with influences other than type, but I feel like male NiTe at first don't really take me seriously when I talk about shared interests, but find me entertaining just to watch or almost toy with. There's something special about the attention of an NiTe though, similar to SiTe in a sense, that is nice to have when it's in moderation. I tend to prefer the company of my semi-dual (SiFe), but it's possible I've only met NiTe men who happen to be jerks.
I think overlooking can happen at first, but I have two illusionary female friends both of whom I enjoy very much.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I think I can spot my dual fairly easily now, at least the female ones. Illusionary I tend to get drawn to in a crowd, not needing to spot them at first, it's more natural I think. I suppose in this context we are working towards the same thing, which is said to be of help in illusionary relations, in this instance the same thing is socialising.
I meant illusionary. So our experiences seem to contradict in this case...
Yes same here.
Illusionary also starts easyer. both seem to search eachother. While in duality both overlook eachother, though in rare cases both are immediately attracted.
Yes, I definitely see that, and if I didn't have a good track record w ILIs and know how not-unapproachable they really are, I would feel the same way your SEE friend did. There's definitely that wall, but to me it doesn't look solid. Really, it's more like a glass door that can be slid open....
I agree; they are very comfortable but also very interesting, and there is a pull. The trouble for me is, they don't seem to hang out much in circles I frequent... but we'll see what I can do about that :wink:
Agreed, agreed, agreed.
My illusionary is ESE. Whenever there is one around we seem drawn to each other. It is relatively easy for me to have conversations with them, and I feel sympathetic to them for some reason. Now maybe this is in part because I grew up with one (my older brother, to whom I am very close), and I can always spot people like him, male or female (much easier for me to spot than my dual). I have a lot of good things to say about ESEs and they seem to admire me as well.
But when Socionics.com says this I think it's true: "What one partner is talking about is always interesting, but in order to understand the partner better the other partner needs to force themselves. This difficulty in making an effort also makes achieving goals together almost impossible."
Beyond having good conversations with ESEs (which can last for hours and cover a wide range of topics), when it comes to actually helping each other with problems I find a part of me just becomes somewhat impatient. Witness this conversation I had with one. I know I get frustrated with their emotionalism, and they get frustrated with my self-centeredness (only doing that which I value).
EII
4w5, sp/sx
depends on what you mean by overlook.
Over time I appreciate them a lot more while shorter term not so much. Additionally the venue matters, in social groups I have a lot of fun with IEIs, while 1 on 1 has always been a huge letdown.
ILE-Ti
6w7 sx/sp (low level of confidence)
So I was talking to eldanen over the phone the other day, and after our convo I noticed we both felt charged up and excited- exactly the opposite of what illusionaries are supposed to act. "Relationships of growing laziness." (http://www.socionics.com)
So either, our types are wrong- or the type descriptions are bullshit, or all of socionics is bunk. I'm inclined to think though that the type descriptions are bullshit.
I'm not very good with the focused, intellectual stuff so just help me out here. How does it technically make sense (functional wise) that an entp and infp would have a relationship of 'growing laziness?'
It could not be socionics related. We probably just genuinely like each other and have a lot of similar interests. Plus the ep and ip temperaments complement each other REALLY WELL. Perhaps I'd noticed the actual socionics relationship better if we both weren't gay guys with a lot of similar things to talk about. I don't know. I realize I'm probably analyzing things way too much here, but relationships always interested me so whatever.
Oh and I'm not idealizing him, I already have a boyfriend. Still it was just nice like when we both got off the phone we felt really energized. Like he'd be a great friend to do shit with. Do you think it's just an ep-ip thing?
Last edited by Hot Scalding Gayser; 02-25-2010 at 02:54 AM.
Well we talked for a good solid hour I think. So idk lol.
"Growing laziness." Give it some time. I spent days and days, until weeks and months with my illusionary, (whatever type I am he's the illusionary one). So at first it felt like a style of activation, we both had all of this potential to converse and pick each others minds, but eventually, weeks later we were just relaxed, and we didn't really express our primary functions as much, there was this weird connection between the "creative" functions that just really made everything at ease and communication was still easy but neither of us really cared all that much about each others opinion in the moment anymore, like if he would pitch me some Ne idea about a movie theme, I would just respond with ease but not really take it to heart. We were just kind of living a fad, or something like that. Whatever the illusionary description says for the most part is what happened between us, we just had to be active friends for a while until it happened.
I am not an EIE. Stop with that.
Yeah, Eldanen's Ne is what I dislike the most about him and I already told him this LOL. His Ne rants are just like.....very "indirectly annoying" to me. Like I'm not really pissed off they just kinda make me moan and fizzle out and go 'Huh?' and blank out.there was this weird connection between the "creative" functions that just really made everything at ease and communication was still easy but neither of us really cared all that much about each others opinion in the moment anymore, like if he would pitch me some Ne idea about a movie theme
Last edited by Hot Scalding Gayser; 02-25-2010 at 02:55 AM.
Yeah my head starts hurting even though I'm not really paying attention! Hah, must be that subconscious working at decoding the jumble.
I kind of agree with what you think about the relation descriptions. Some of them are fuzzy how they're explained, like half of it works, then the other half is the opposite. Sometimes they fit perfectly though. I still think it makes sense to type people using them. Just not solely using them, since coordination is obviously not guaranteed.
I'm such an idiot. It's *GROWING* laziness not RIGHT AWAY laziness. So yeah I will feel it after we simply interact more. That makes sense.
However he's still a cool guy even if he does use Ne and we'll grow lazy together. =)
Yeah and then get an ESI to wake you up if you've gone too far into a mindset with just that ILE person. I don't really know if that's how it works, but it seems like opposite types/opposite relations would work that way. Keeping the balance. I've had lengthy experience with my benefactor after the illusionary relation, it doesn't seem like just a coincidence, but I'm the only one who's talking right now, so I'm wondering if people can verify.
His 8th function is Te, and my 8th function is Fi, so I think what we have going for us the most is we cover each other weakness' up well (as the 8th function masks the pain of the 4th function extremely organically). So not getting any polr hits is nice to have in any relationship.
Plus he's lookalike with estp, and I'm lookalike with sei, so it's kind of like an 'illusionary duality.'
As for the ESI thing I'm not sure about that, well he's friends with Dolphin too, who I think is an esfp?
What do you mean by pain of the 4th function?
cause it's your polr lol. (Te for infp, Fi for entp)
Some people say it causes pain or confusion. Others say its just naturally not paid attention to. I mostly go for the latter, that is my experience with PoLR. Even look at the term PoLR at what it means. Its far from pain/confusion. If the 4th function is pain/confusion in theory, then at least rename it
when you are doing something active together, like playing pool. You'll drain energy by the minute.
Illusionary is great however when you are just watching movies.
So the growing lazyness is the drainage of energy because of the effect of the 7th function.