IEI - SLE Duality discussion and stories (INFp-ESTp)

[slownumbers]

Why's everyone saying "duality isn't everything" when I feel like it should be "romantic relationships aren't everything"?

You've met a dual and positively identified them, that's awesome and doesn't happen everyday. She wants to be friends, yay!

I think the sensible thing to do in this situation is be "just" friends, without any expectation of it becoming romantic. If it happens, it'll happen naturally - if not, having a good friend is an end in itself. Duals make great friends, as well as romantic partners... and it helps that people are often friends with their identicals, and their quadra members, which makes them good sources of other betas

Of course it might not be psychologically comfortable for you to stay "just friends" with a dual you're attracted to, in which case try to direct your focus away from her and onto other romantic interests, while remaining friends. Nothing good happens if IEIs try too hard.

Though it's kind of the opposite situation, I friendzoned my SLE bf for years... eventually we started hanging out together heaps and it just happened.

Very good point, octopuslove! I like your way of thinking. The thought definitely crossed my mind... Even though she just wanted to be friends, I was interested in continuing the friendship because I did enjoy spending time with her of course, and I wanted to learn what my dual was like since I had never met one.

Although that was the plan, I decided it's probably best to step back for a few different reasons. 1) I have a history of getting into "unrequited love" situations. I start to hang out with someone, develop feelings for them, and it is strictly platonic for them. At first it is fun, but then later it can be painful, when they start dating someone else, etc. 2) I notice hanging out with her puts a damper on other dating situations I attempt to pursue. Because I like her so much, when I'm on a date with another girl, I start thinking about her. Not good

With that said though, I hope someday down the road, once I'm over liking her romantically, that we can be good friends!