IEI - SLE Duality discussion and stories (INFp-ESTp)

[misutii]

Ni would generally dictate that when something is over it's over. Also in general when I hear that a person is hanging out with their ex I feel a negative kind of pity for both parties because they're being tools. Thus I would advise against any sort of relapse in this case.

[sigma]

Ni would generally dictate that when something is over it's over.

I agree with this statement BUT this happens if the Ni does the "is over" part.

I don't believe in what we call in my country "reheated soup" however, I do believe in people evolving and in break-ups caused by insufficient spiritual development.
Sometimes you meet some old friend and he/she is better. I wouldn't bet on this tho, it can happen but is extremely unlikely to happen.

[misutii]

But who said it was over? I mean, they had a great friendship AND lived together. The thing that was over in this case, was the living together. Can't the friendship still live? It's worth a try, at least. Friends don't come easily. However, I agree with a lot of others here saying it probably won't be the same. But change isn't always bad. It helps developping you. Maybe it's a cultural thing, this thought that people you had a relationship with can't be friends...? It's rather normal here. Really, if you are not vindictive/jealous/immature about it, it works very well. (I guess what I say, is that if both have moved on, mentally, it works).



Both being tools? What do you mean?

And pity?

Maybe these are just my observations. However, I've noticed that very few people are OK with their gf/bf/etc. "hanging out" with their ex (I wouldn't be, and often when a person says they're OK with it they're just being passive-aggressive). There may very well be a window of opportunity to get back together immediately following the relationship, when both parties are single. However, that is not the case in this situation. In other words the window is closed.

Also one of my pet peeves is people that are always breaking up and then getting back together with the same person. Reminds me of a soap opera and if soap operas need to exist they should stay on the TV.