IEI - SLE Duality discussion and stories (INFp-ESTp)

[Expat]

Now here's the confusing part. He broke up with me after a month stating: "You're amazing, smart, funny, interesting, beautiful and I'm very attracted to you, but...there is something intangible missing when I'm with you." I then learned about his past loves and they all seemed to stem from an intense passion and lust for the woman. He's been "in love" five times, but only two of those were relationships. The others were unrequited loves.

Is this common for estps? For them to only view love in a fast and furious way? I tend to let my feelings develop, based on trust and friendship

There's always the possibility that there was something else going on and what he said about "something intangible missing" was just plain bullshit.

However, going for plain socionics based on the available information, one possibility is that while he's indeed ESTp, you're actually INTp rather than INFp, and the ""something intangible missing" was the Fe (extraverted feeling).

Take the above with a pinch of salt since it's a hunch based on very little information.

[pandagirl]

Yes, it could very well something else. But barring another woman in the picture, I believe he was telling the truth about the "passion" thing. I didn't feel it either, but I was OK with that.

[Joy]

Duality is not as exciting as some other intertype relations.

[Ms. Kensington]

Duality is not as exciting as some other intertype relations.

thats what i was going to say.

i feel the most passionate when there is some tension, but some complimentary exchange as well. I don't have to do anything but be in the same room as an INFp (not my dual) to feel physically attracted.

Panda, you'll see if he still thinks theres something missing after some time with you. I particularly find this occuring in ExTp and sometimes ExFp. Also, 30 is not past the age where one acquires maturity in many cases.

[pandagirl]

Well, interestingly enough, he isn't friends with any of his exes. I seem to be the lone girl who has somehow managed to earn his respect, citing I am the "coolest girl he's er me." He manages to bring out the most outgoing aspects of my personality and I love hanging out with him, because he is so good in social situations which takes the attention away from me (which I like). I am very good one-on-one, but not in a group.

I know he likes me. He's told me that over and over again. He is physically attracted to me, blah blah. Just not falling in love with me. We'll see what happens!

[redbaron]

Well, interestingly enough, he isn't friends with any of his exes. I seem to be the lone girl who has somehow managed to earn his respect, citing I am the "coolest girl he's er me." He manages to bring out the most outgoing aspects of my personality and I love hanging out with him, because he is so good in social situations which takes the attention away from me (which I like). I am very good one-on-one, but not in a group.

I know he likes me. He's told me that over and over again. He is physically attracted to me, blah blah. Just not falling in love with me. We'll see what happens!

Well my advice is to play it cool. I mean, just go about your life, be yourself and don't fawn over him at all. Enjoy the time that you're together but don't cut out other options either, should they come along Sounds to me like there's still potential there.

[pandagirl]

exactly, i noticed that, too. usually the duality relationships start without thrills. probably this guy was after something extraordinary and it sounds normal to me. but i believe he'll know what to choose when he will want to settle down.

This sounds about right. No thrills, but plenty of happy, warm fuzzies.

He's seems very eager to start a friendship with me, called me yesterday and wants to hang out. Me? I'm playing it cool. I feel like he's almost trying to create drama.

[Reuben]

Look. Stop this socionics analyzing bull.

He's just a player.

Give him the player test. Put up the bitch shield. If he passes through all that, well, then perhaps he really wants you. Then if you wish, have fun with him. If not, wait till you're married.

It's up to you. Your choice.

[mikemex]

Watch out for that, despite duality the ESTP is one of those personalities I would least likely to trust completely with. Just like how I see the rest of the Extroverts, except for ENFP because if the ENFP betrays me, I will mess up their world and they will fear me even more than the most powerful extroverts like ENTJ or ENFJ.

Awww, how cute.

[pandagirl]

Update: well. I'm not proud, but I saw the guy the other night in a group setting. I played it cool all night, not paying much attention to him, and of course, by the end of the night...he kissed me...and I gave in. CRAP. There is such a push-and-pull between us. A natural attraction to each other, even though we're so different.

[Sirena]

Update: well. I'm not proud, but I saw the guy the other night in a group setting. I played it cool all night, not paying much attention to him, and of course, by the end of the night...he kissed me...and I gave in. CRAP. There is such a push-and-pull between us. A natural attraction to each other, even though we're so different.

Sounds to me like maybe he was attracted to the "hard to get" act. I've known guys like this that just like what they can't have, but when it comes down to it they don't like you for who you really are. They just like the cat and mouse game. I'm not saying with certainty that this is what's happening here. Just be careful. You deserve someone to like "you".