Ways to ENFp's heart: how to woo/attract an IEE

[IcEPiCk]

sigh

what is the way to an ENFPs heart?

Its a difficult task... You demand perfection... You are idealistic in searching for your mates...

Now if we are to suppose the duality can work between ISTPs and ENFPs, which it does.... How can an ISTP snatch an ENFP... Especially when its a male ISTP female ENFP situation!? Ideally, in a relationship the male makes the first move. This is very awkward for ISTPs.


Have any of you ENFPs been with an ISFJ? an ENTP?

stories!!!!

lets go! (you guys are supposed to be the reporter cmon!)

[HarryBottom]

Especially when its a male ISTP female ENFP situation!?

Try male INFP and Female ESTP. Now there's a toughie.

[Rocky]

implied, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ENFPs DO NOT LIKE CONSITENCY.


Nor do they like to be treated gently.. hehee *evil smirk*

and don't be greedy with the $$$ because that makes me feel like you're using me for sex. i will assume this anyway, so you do your best to break through this without letting me run all over you.

What exactly do you mean?

This probably doesn't make sense to you because she is not ENFP.

[Rocky]

jesus, you don't think so! i bet that a lot of girls fake it with you. remember that women know what men want to hear.

Anyways,

And we do not like consistency because we get bored.

Check...

We love people of all kinds and we hang out with the eccentric as well as the normal ones because we appreciate them all.

... and double check.

[Cone]

If you ask me what my life is all about I would tell you "people, friends, relationships"! This influences our conversation style. We are not insensitive, not aggressive (and you come across as fairly aggressive) unless we are pushed.

This is a very good point to make about ENFps. ENFps are the most socially-dependent of all the types. The last thing an ENFp would want to do is anger people into hating them. So they typically come across as sweet, good-natured, help-anyone people. They can get pretty much anyone to like them. If someone hurts you, at least you always have someone to run to. And who knows who's good, bad, useful, important, whatever. You'll only know if you approach them.

[IcEPiCk]

I definitely do the "enough is enough" thing. i tolerate it til i say "fuck it. let's move on."

I notce ENFPs are good at this... It can take a while for it to work though... For them to emotionally let go of someone seems very difficult... They can be in BAD relationships for long periods of time because of that.

I cant understand it, merely observe the trends.

[NeonMonk]

We focus on the good things, and we want to continue giving it a chance, hoping to get past the bad. Personally I've always felt that if I don't flesh a r/Relationship out to its natural & definite end, I may have missed out on something. But when we do decide "fuck it," it'd take a lot to sway us.

[IcEPiCk]

But when we do decide "fuck it," it'd take a lot to sway us.

Yea you can only milk a relationship so much though this is one thing as an ISTP I do not see the practicality in...

Neonmonk, your avatar kick ass.

[NeonMonk]

Well it's not really about being practical, haha. I find bad relationships have not really affected my self-esteem, in fact I often feel they make it stronger. I could explain why, but you probably wouldn't understand anyway. In the bad relationships I've had (and believe you-me, I'd had a few) I always wanted to help them achieve the best for themself. I guess I've had a lot of people feed on that, and abuse it. But I always saw the good in them, and always naturally focused on that. But of course you always get to that point where you've had enough. And once we've decided to move on, we move on fast.

[NeonMonk]

And thanks for the compliment regarding my avatar. Can't sleep from whiplash I received on Friday (involved in a nasty car accident) so keeping myself busy doing some photoshop work.

[IcEPiCk]

No I can completely see how an ENFP gets stronger through every relationship... and WISER.

I guess I've had a lot of people feed on that, and abuse it. But I always saw the good in them, and always naturally focused on that. But of course you always get to that point where you've had enough. And once we've decided to move on, we move on fast.

yes sometimes ENFPs seem self sacrificing to me... Wasting such positive and what I can only see as BEAUTIFUL energy on people I wouldnt waste my time on! It gets frustrating to see it, but you cannot really convince the ENFP otherwise, as they let it take its 'natural course'... The thing as an ISTP I cannot perceive is the natural course stuff takes...

There is always something you can do about something... Some way to fix it.

Interesting..

[Megan]

To implied

I am an INFJ no doubt about it and I have to say that you sound very similar to me. Even though I am a judging type I often do not have a very strong opinion of things and unlike my ENFP friend I really do not like everyone and I never give the impression that I do. I also find forgiveness very difficult sometimes and she does not seem to have a problem with this at all (I sometimes admire this in her). I was almost about to think that I was an ENFp too because I can be very inconsistent in some things and do the extrovert thing rather well mainly because I find everyone interesting. I also thought I might be an ENFP because I have been in an excellent relationship (for three years now)with someone who is an ISTP in every way you can imagine. Even though I am not one for posting here, when I read the genuine ISTP posters thoughts it is eerily similar to the things he thinks and says only he has no real interest in posting here yet. I have always for some reason been very attracted to ISTPs and if there is one in any room no matter how large believe me I will find him. Anyway, I do not wish to pressure you in anyway or say that you are not what you believe you are ( you might very well be) but please do not rule out being INFJ, I do not agree with a few descriptions of us I studied Biochemistry at university and I am now strangely working quite happily in media and advertising which is probably very ENFP and I am not interested in the formal study of anything Psychology/Humanity related but then people of the same type have differences obviously. Everyone who does not know me well thinks I am an extrovert, I am also quite pedantic (unfortunately) and I think rationally nearly as much as I feel empathically. I am also feisty and assertive which might help in part to explain my continuous (lasting years even though he is a one day at a time type person) and successful relationship with an ISTP. I have an awful lot in common with the ENFP I know (we even live together contentedly) and this at first lead me to believe that we were the same type. I know very differently now. I can see that there are few INFJ posters here, I think like me some probably read what's here sometimes but do not feel necessarily moved to post. We might even be a little annoyed for being confused with certain ISFJ types(oh horror of horrors) especially since very few people here are likely to know a real infj, I know only one other and I had to make a special effort to meet this person. Anyway, I do like reading your posts and will continue to do so regardless of what type you are.

[Megan]

All and enough said.

Back to: Ways to an ENFP's heart.

An exceedingly worthy mission I think.

[MySaviour]

Fun.

ENFPs start considering you if you both have fun together.

Smarts.

If after you're done having fun, you can sober up and be intellectual and deep, double points.

Gestures.

Authentic, romantic gestures. Preferably grandiose and out in the open, showing that you have balls. Courtship points.

Fun. Smarts. Affection.

[Kim]

Yeah, that sounds like the way to my heart! Perhaps even for another ISTp, who knows! :wink:

[IcEPiCk]

Fun.

ENFPs start considering you if you both have fun together.

Smarts.

If after you're done having fun, you can sober up and be intellectual and deep, double points.

Gestures.

Authentic, romantic gestures. Preferably grandiose and out in the open, showing that you have balls. Courtship points.

Fun. Smarts. Affection.

Sounds like the dictionary definition of an ISTP minus the affection... Out in the open depends what u mean. Public gestures aint that bad...

[Creepy-pokeball]

Oh this is easy. Go rescue something from the local shelter. Well... youve won their heart for a day. Repeat daily.

[IcEPiCk]

It is depressing, though, that my guy roommate is a lot better at reminding me that i don't have to be a barbie doll or live up to this stupid feminine standard all the time. or deal with an emotionally cold person who just wants to be around me on his own time and only when i am cheery.

I dont demand a woman to be a barbie doll, do not generalize us please.

I am emotionally cold though . If my dual was ever sad I would try to cheer her up, my hidden agenda is to love after all.... Your boyfriends actions sound off ISTP in that regard. I dont like being around depressed people, but if I cared about that person I would try to comfort them. Being around someone on my own time... Theres no one I would rather spend time with. Sure we need our alone time, but everyone needs to collect their thoughts.

[Kim]

ah i see i thought you were being non-mockulatory

Oh, I see. No, I don't see the need of being completed. It's not about that.

[IcEPiCk]

Lol already figured that out, but its too bad I learn through experience


Remember ISTP I See The Problem...

[IcEPiCk]

In the ISTp I know best, I think it was the fear to lose control. He had to have control over his life and that is why he was so suspicious of people, especially those he had to work with.

No

the suspicion comes from us opening up earlier in life and being hurt... We remember it and each wound makes a scar tissue wall around our hearts. I hope that makes sense.

Its not about control, its about complete independance.

[aka-kitsune]

So... there's an ENFp I'd very much like to get closer to. But how? I feel like I'm definitely missing some info regarding values and interpreting behavior. He's a little mystifying... warm and engaging when close but oh-so cool (ghostlike) when there's distance involved. I'm hesitating.

Any pointers on how to bridge the gap? Insights welcome!

ps: Please feel free to PM me if you'd care to share insights in a less public manner!

Thx.

(...and Merry Saturnalia/Yule/Christmas/Hanukkah/Quanzaa/whathaveyou!!! ) :wink:

[xyz]

Well then stay close to him

Edit: You said how? Well do stuff with him that he likes I guess. I mean, guys in general tend to like that.

[IcEPiCk]

Sup this new format sucks ass!

[Creepy-pokeball]

ENFps are easy to get to know and like. Just...talk.

[Mea]

ENFps are easy to get to know and like. Just...talk.

Hey Cool! Jadae is here! Or am I dreaming?

Umm.. anyway, I think ENFps are pretty easy to approach if you talk to them first. They only SEEM cold to some people...

[betterthandead]

yomama

[Mediator Kam]

ENFp's love to talk, damn do they. Especially about things they like.

Every ENFp loves to hate authority, so....

1. Find out what they like.
2. Talk about what they're interested in.
3. Mix some authority-hating in there, they'll feel closer to you if you do.
4. Just talk, they like that a lot.

[ProcrastinateTomorrow]

I am friends with and IEE for some reason I have always been attracted to her.

I have been all over the shop when I comes to my temperament, self deception can be a very misleading thing.

So I got my mother to do a few test on my behalf and also read the descriptions.

Anyway I want to pursue my friend we don't know each other too well with is a plus as it's not like I can ruin anything we have.


Should I compliment her.
Should I just come right out there and tell her I like her.

Will the later scare her off.


What advice can you give me.

[mikemex]

Should I just come right out there and tell her I like her.

Will the later scare her off.

From my experience, it's not a good idea.

[ProcrastinateTomorrow]

So compliments then ?

[tiny_dancer]

I don't think there's any advice for your situation. Nobody can predict the future, and in most romantic interactions, one person is on a different level than the other, even with duality. So you can really only put yourself out there, and if you get rejected, then you get rejected. Happens to everybody (including myself).

[jewels]

I'd try to feel the situation out...start out however you've already been acting. And then gradually do date-ish things and see if she's cool w/ that, or if she freaks out (can't miss a IEE's facial expressions!)

But do it in a low pressure way that she can easily turn down w/o you feeling stupid. IEEs are fairly easy to read. Do little things like touch her arm while talking and see if she backs up or allows it. Or stand slightly closer than normal for a second and see if she backs up or lets you stand there, etc.

I don't know how old you are though, or if you're in hs or something. So I dunno. But I would make little attempts at taking it to a new level and then see if she seems into that or freaked out.

good luck

[implied]

Should I compliment her.
Should I just come right out there and tell her I like her.

don't do anything.

[Brilliand]

don't do anything.

Eh.. I heard tell on this forum that there was this one IEE that liked it when an SLI came up and hesitantly told her that he liked her.

I'd suggest doing something, ask her out maybe, if all that you manage to do is mumble that you like her and wander off, fine. Just so she knows.

[Wrong Way Ticket]

Get her alone, comfortable, then kiss her. Don't overthink stuff. That's her job.

[Cyrano]

I am friends with and IEE for some reason I have always been attracted to her.

I have been all over the shop when I comes to my temperament, self deception can be a very misleading thing.

So I got my mother to do a few test on my behalf and also read the descriptions.

Anyway I want to pursue my friend we don't know each other too well with is a plus as it's not like I can ruin anything we have.


Should I compliment her.
Should I just come right out there and tell her I like her.

Will the later scare her off.


What advice can you give me.

If you continue to procrastinate, I will have time to find her! - SLI