Ways to ENFp's heart: how to woo/attract an IEE

[tiny_dancer]

I don't think there's any advice for your situation. Nobody can predict the future, and in most romantic interactions, one person is on a different level than the other, even with duality. So you can really only put yourself out there, and if you get rejected, then you get rejected. Happens to everybody (including myself).

[jewels]

I'd try to feel the situation out...start out however you've already been acting. And then gradually do date-ish things and see if she's cool w/ that, or if she freaks out (can't miss a IEE's facial expressions!)

But do it in a low pressure way that she can easily turn down w/o you feeling stupid. IEEs are fairly easy to read. Do little things like touch her arm while talking and see if she backs up or allows it. Or stand slightly closer than normal for a second and see if she backs up or lets you stand there, etc.

I don't know how old you are though, or if you're in hs or something. So I dunno. But I would make little attempts at taking it to a new level and then see if she seems into that or freaked out.

good luck

[ProcrastinateTomorrow]

I have always liked the hey lets go out approach but but after reading about Victims, Aggressors, Caregivers and Infantiles I don't know anymore...

[jewels]

I have always liked the hey lets go out approach but but after reading about Victims, Aggressors, Caregivers and Infantiles I don't know anymore...

there comes a point where you just have to go do whatever you want, and forget trying to avoid it not working, because who knows. It's all a gamble. But if you have a feeling it could work, never hurts to try something.

But I think the "hey let's go out" would be good for an IEE as the direct thing is good.

[Simon Ssmall]

there comes a point where you just have to go do whatever you want, and forget trying to avoid it not working, because who knows. It's all a gamble. But if you have a feeling it could work, never hurts to try something.

But I think the "hey let's go out" would be good for an IEE as the direct thing is good.

And would be super uncomfortable for her if she is unsure or doesn't like him in that way or never saw that comming. Personaly I don't like being hit on to begin with, but I guess that has to do with me being a guy. I prefer to be the one who shows interest as then I am sure of my own interest in the person and the choice is not brought upon me.

[implied]

Should I compliment her.
Should I just come right out there and tell her I like her.

don't do anything.

[Brilliand]

don't do anything.

Eh.. I heard tell on this forum that there was this one IEE that liked it when an SLI came up and hesitantly told her that he liked her.

I'd suggest doing something, ask her out maybe, if all that you manage to do is mumble that you like her and wander off, fine. Just so she knows.

[Wrong Way Ticket]

Get her alone, comfortable, then kiss her. Don't overthink stuff. That's her job.

[jewels]

And would be super uncomfortable for her if she is unsure or doesn't like him in that way or never saw that comming. Personaly I don't like being hit on to begin with, but I guess that has to do with me being a guy. I prefer to be the one who shows interest as then I am sure of my own interest in the person and the choice is not brought upon me.

if she doesn't like him, she'll smooth over the awkwardness (as IEEs are good at this). That is, if she values the friendship enough. If she likes him at all, she'll value that he was blunt about it. At least, I would.

My SLI bf started out as friends briefly. But then he took me to a really cool event and then dinner (date-ish), and then I decided I did like him. Him taking me to those things made it clear to me he was interested. So then I made it clear I liked him.

Then he invited me to a wedding on our 3rd date, which was totally bold, but I liked that he didn't care (as that was an obvious not "3rd date" thing to do). If I hadn't have liked him, I would have kept everything platonic and ensured it went in that direction. IEEs are good at steering things one way or another.

So I think it's better if he just does what he wants and lets the chips fall where they may.

[Simon Ssmall]

if she doesn't like him, she'll smooth over the awkwardness (as IEEs are good at this). That is, if she values the friendship enough. If she likes him at all, she'll value that he was blunt about it. At least, I would.

My SLI bf started out as friends briefly. But then he took me to a really cool event and then dinner (date-ish), and then I decided I did like him. Him taking me to those things made it clear to me he was interested. So then I made it clear I liked him.

Then he invited me to a wedding on our 3rd date, which was totally bold, but I liked that he didn't care (as that was an obvious not "3rd date" thing to do). If I hadn't have liked him, I would have kept everything platonic and ensured it went in that direction. IEEs are good at steering things one way or another.

So I think it's better if he just does what he wants and lets the chips fall where they may.

I just don't see how bluntness would be definitely a good thing. It can go both ways. IEE or no IEE, Delta or not, SLI loving or not. I understand what you are saying and I understand how such behaviour could work. However my experience with IEE females says that bluntness can go both ways, not only positively. I'm not talking about smoothing something out or things like that as that is not an issue here, I'm pretty sure IEE can handle it. I wasn't talking about how she will behave, as I don't think anyone knows that but rather how it could make her feel.

Whether you like wikisocion materials or not what I had in mind was.
"Do not ask the IEE what his or her feelings towards you are, do not tell them that you like them, and do not talk about your relationship directly. These 'rational' moves make them highly uncomfortable. Instead try, "I like your energy," "your voice is calming," "you look good in that shirt," "you're funny," "I enjoy the way you move," etc." It was taken from IEE domain.

[Kim]

Just spend time with her and see if she enjoys it. If she does and becomes interested in you, she will send signals. Show her that you want to spend time with her and if she agrees, see from there. This way she can also back out.

My bf I agree with Ssmall that directness in terms of "I like you" can be very awkward (and she might feel pressured or cornered). I think it's better left unsaid for a while to let things unfold. IEE and SLI need to spend time together and it will fall into place (either way)

[Cyrano]

I am friends with and IEE for some reason I have always been attracted to her.

I have been all over the shop when I comes to my temperament, self deception can be a very misleading thing.

So I got my mother to do a few test on my behalf and also read the descriptions.

Anyway I want to pursue my friend we don't know each other too well with is a plus as it's not like I can ruin anything we have.


Should I compliment her.
Should I just come right out there and tell her I like her.

Will the later scare her off.


What advice can you give me.

If you continue to procrastinate, I will have time to find her! - SLI

[Lobo]

Whether you like wikisocion materials or not what I had in mind was.
"Do not ask the IEE what his or her feelings towards you are, do not tell them that you like them, and do not talk about your relationship directly. These 'rational' moves make them highly uncomfortable. Instead try, "I like your energy," "your voice is calming," "you look good in that shirt," "you're funny," "I enjoy the way you move," etc." It was taken from IEE domain.

My bf I agree with Ssmall that directness in terms of "I like you" can be very awkward (and she might feel pressured or cornered). I think it's better left unsaid for a while to let things unfold. IEE and SLI need to spend time together and it will fall into place (either way)

Really?.. My perception was that "I like you" comments were well received by ENFps. In that case, I'm the other way around it seems .

[Simon Ssmall]

Really?.. My perception was that "I like you" comments were well received by ENFps. In that case, I'm the other way around it seems .

As I said, my experience tells it can go both ways. And to be honest it highly depends on comfort level near the person.

[DirectorAbbie]

Wooing an IEE.

Fixed

[tiny_dancer]

I like the phrase "I like you" if I am interested in him and wish I knew if he felt the same way. haha

If I am not interested, chances are I've already picked up on the fact that he is and am trying to put distance into the relationship by not spending too much time with him or avoiding situations that appear date-like b/c I don't want to lead the person on. In which case, "I like you" is not so fun and entails an awkward conversation.

[Lobo]

As I said, my experience tells it can go both ways. And to be honest it highly depends on comfort level near the person.

I like the phrase "I like you" if I am interested in him and wish I knew if he felt the same way. haha

If I am not interested, chances are I've already picked up on the fact that he is and am trying to put distance into the relationship by not spending too much time with him or avoiding situations that appear date-like b/c I don't want to lead the person on. In which case, "I like you" is not so fun and entails an awkward conversation.

Oh ok, I was looking at "I like you" in the non-romantic way. Nevermind then.