Fe dual-seeking of INTjs

[Blaze]

basically being uber clueless and wanting to know, what's "normal" culturally. What cultural norms are, and to compare between cultures to see what is ultimately normal.

I think Ne Fi just likes to connect with others, whatever their culture will be.

ahhh the first thing you said seems sort of Ti or something. like you want to make a grid about how things are expressed across cultures.

the LII that i know likes very emotionally expressive cultures such as italy and latin american countries and spain. he's 42 years old and not married...can't seem to get a relationship to last more than 6 months. i think he's Fe dual seeking to the max, along with having a mid life re-evalutation.

[redbaron]

The LII I know also loves other cultures. In fact, she did a master's degree in international studies and knows about 8 languages! Loves to travel and now takes extensive family vacations all over the world (married ILE and they have a lot of money). Problem in their marriage, though, is that it lacks Fe big-time and she feels it. She has complained that although they are VERY good friends and have, in every other way a very good marriage, the expressing feelings part and the sex has been lacking. Anyway, the other thing I was going to say is that she also has felt quite guilty about not working since she had kids. They don't need her to earn money but it's like she wants to fill a role in society, the way you mentioned. I have no such guilt.

[Blaze]

The LII I know also loves other cultures. In fact, she did a master's degree in international studies and knows about 8 languages! Loves to travel and now takes extensive family vacations all over the world (married ILE and they have a lot of money). Problem in their marriage, though, is that it lacks Fe big-time and she feels it. She has complained that although they are VERY good friends and have, in every other way a very good marriage, the expressing feelings part and the sex has been lacking. Anyway, the other thing I was going to say is that she also has felt quite guilty about not working since she had kids. They don't need her to earn money but it's like she wants to fill a role in society, the way you mentioned. I have no such guilt.

i can totally believe it about this marriage...i just can't imagine being married to an LII, although i think one would make a great friend. i mean, there's no S and there's no F....where do you go from there? you at least need one or the other, at least i would.

[redbaron]

i can totally believe it about this marriage...i just can't imagine being married to an LII, although i think one would make a great friend. i mean, there's no S and there's no F....where do you go from there? you at least need one or the other, at least i would.

Yeah well they're rich enough so they have someone else do the cleaning and laundry and anything else they want done. She cooks as a hobby and takes multiple yoga classes. She's a bit obsessed with health things. I enjoy being around them--I guess cause I provide the Fe and they both seem appreciative. lol but yeah, according to her they're really pretty bad at expressing feelings--she said she knows he loves her but he rarely says it, etc.....

[Blaze]

Yeah well they're rich enough so they have someone else do the cleaning and laundry and anything else they want done. She cooks as a hobby and takes multiple yoga classes. She's a bit obsessed with health things. I enjoy being around them--I guess cause I provide the Fe and they both seem appreciative. lol but yeah, according to her they're really pretty bad at expressing feelings--she said she knows he loves her but he rarely says it, etc.....

i'd rather have no money. seriously.

[redbaron]

i'd rather have no money. seriously.

yeah! Strange thing is, she doesn't seem to mind all that much. At least, she makes light of it. I guess you learn to accept these things over time? I mean, they definitely function well together. They never ever fight (unlike me and the ESE) Yet he tells me all the time that he loves me.

[Blaze]

yeah! Strange thing is, she doesn't seem to mind all that much. At least, she makes light of it. I guess you learn to accept these things over time? I mean, they definitely function well together. They never ever fight (unlike me and the ESE) Yet he tells me all the time that he loves me.

yeah i see what you mean, each to his own.

fightin's not so bad....sometimes the electricity is just what you need to get things going lol.

[Ms. Kensington]

The LII I know also loves other cultures. In fact, she did a master's degree in international studies and knows about 8 languages! Loves to travel and now takes extensive family vacations all over the world (married ILE and they have a lot of money). Problem in their marriage, though, is that it lacks Fe big-time and she feels it. She has complained that although they are VERY good friends and have, in every other way a very good marriage, the expressing feelings part and the sex has been lacking. Anyway, the other thing I was going to say is that she also has felt quite guilty about not working since she had kids. They don't need her to earn money but it's like she wants to fill a role in society, the way you mentioned. I have no such guilt.

yeah i think that with the ILE and LII romantically, a lot of the expressing feelings part needs to come from within.. sort of like throwing ideas at each other and the other person interprets it, and feels it sort of indirectly. I don't know if that makes sense, but compare that with Fe ego types that don't need to say a damn word and i feel it.

[redbaron]

yeah i think that with the ILE and LII romantically, a lot of the expressing feelings part needs to come from within.. sort of like throwing ideas at each other and the other person interprets it, and feels it sort of indirectly. I don't know if that makes sense, but compare that with Fe ego types that don't need to say a damn word and i feel it.

Yup, totally makes sense.

[Mediator Kam]

Gotta ask my dad this omg.

I like cultures too.

[Ms. Kensington]

what subtype is your friend's ENTp, redbaron?

I could see how this would affect the ENTp's tolerance for lack of expression or need for certain things.

I read the whole thread and I was struck again by the fact that an Fe type will get what they need or want from a Ti type one way, in the form of expressing appreciation emotionally. I *am* very appreciative.

[Blaze]

I read the whole thread and I was struck again by the fact that an Fe type will get what they need or want from a Ti type one way, in the form of expressing appreciation emotionally. I *am* very appreciative.

hmmmmm and this is true for ILE as well. i'll, like, do anything for somebody who gives the appreciative Fe. :-)

[redbaron]

what subtype is your friend's ENTp, redbaron?

I could see how this would affect the ENTp's tolerance for lack of expression or need for certain things.

I read the whole thread and I was struck again by the fact that an Fe type will get what they need or want from a Ti type one way, in the form of expressing appreciation emotionally. I *am* very appreciative.

I think the ILE is probably Ne subtype but I could be wrong.

the appreciation thing is funny because my ESE husband is always saying how he craves appreciation. I try but I guess my form of appreciation isn't strong enough for him. More often than not, I feel like he gives me things I don't need and then wants me to appreciate him for it. Then when I try, it comes across as patronizing, like I'm only "appreciating" him because he wants the appreciation and not because I actually feel it. which is kinda true but what am I supposed to do?? (sorry, not trying to de-rail the convo). But anyway, INTj giving appreciation is really very much what the ESFj wants.

[diljs]

what subtype is your friend's ENTp, redbaron?

I could see how this would affect the ENTp's tolerance for lack of expression or need for certain things.

I read the whole thread and I was struck again by the fact that an Fe type will get what they need or want from a Ti type one way, in the form of expressing appreciation emotionally. I *am* very appreciative.

Yes, Give me and I'll give you all the you want.

I'll give you pretty much anything you want actually.

Mmmmmm.......