EIEs/ENFjs who are into cooking?

[Joy]

Does anyone know any ENFjs that cook a lot? Nothing fancy... just dinner... but they dislike eating canned/boxed/frozen foods and would prefer to grill, fry, or bake something? And often make extra so they'll have leftovers for lunch for a few days?

[mustachio]

i know one who likes to eat alot. her cooking ain't that bad. she ain't big on frozen plastic-flavoured meals and likes to store the food her mom brings her every now and then.

[Joy]

Does she routinely buy and cook her own fresh food though?

[mustachio]

of course she does. who doesn't?

[Joy]

LOL

[Joy]

I make it a habit to buy pretty much only frozen and nonperishable food items... cause if it can go bad, there's a 90% chance it will

[Expat]

I can't say I've known that many ENFjs well, but I don't think that any of those was particularly interested in cooking.

[Kristiina]

When I know what I'm doing, I'm a very good cook. I don't like experimenting much because I feel like one wrong move can ruin an hour worth of cooking. Occasionally I'll make up new recipes and some of them have been very good.

*I like cooking for at least two meals at a time. The downside of cooking is that no matter how well you plan it, you're going to have to cook again soon. I like doing things properly so I don't have to do them again - ever! - but that's not possible with cooking. The least I can do is make a little bit more, so next time I just have to heat it.

*I kinda like cooking with other people. It can be a fun interactive brainstorming event of what other spices/herbs/seasoning mixes to add.

*I like cooking for dinner parties because I know I'm skilled and I know that with a little bit of planning it's a quick route to cheap praise.

*I'm very critical of what I eat. I like seeing how dishes are made so I know that the ingredients were all fresh. If I help in the kitchen I'll know all that I have to (and often even more).

*I kinda like premade food because there's an illusion that everything has been sterilized. People often get food poisoning from home-made jam because the process of canning it was too sloppy. Manufactured stuff has to fallow strict rules.

*I really don't like frozen vegetables because they taste funny. And I really hate it how the texture gets all soggy and chewy. But oh well... It's just so much cheaper and easier to make in the winter. When my sister's in town (half the time), we eat frozen vegetable mixes almost every day and I'm still alive.

*I postpone cooking as long as I can, but when I start cooking, you can be sure it's edible.

[Khamelion]

Yes, that is a EXTREMLY accurate description of my grandmom.


And yes again, Stasia complains about boxed mashed potatoes and stuff like that, and likes to have extra for leftovers.


Although my grandmom makes extra food just so there will BE leftovers, I think. It always seemed that way anyways. >_>

[Joy]

Is it possible that she doesn't know how much will be needed and makes A LOT to be sure there will be enough?

[Khamelion]

Is it possible that she doesn't know how much will be needed and makes A LOT to be sure there will be enough?

Yes yes.

[Kristiina]

When there are people coming over, I try to make sure there's enough for everyone, so that I can avoid the diplomatic eye-game of who gets the last piece.

Another theory - Te role - would a person who always wants to be practical throw out perfectly decent food that doesn't even smell funny? Another question - would a person with PoLR really eat that food later? :wink: So the fridge is full of leftovers.

[Joy]

I think Si PoLR people can distrust the quality of food for no apparent reason, or lose their appetite easily is something is unappetizing. I think they're also likely to have a difficult time forcing themselves to eat something they don't like or denying themselves something they really want. I think Si PoLR are simply overly fussy about stuff like that. I also think it's difficult for them to buy things that will spoil in less than a week or eat leftovers (unless it's something they pretty much always feel like eating) because they can't simply talk themselves into wanting to eat something. If it's produce it's even worse because even if they wouldn't mind eating it, 9 times out of 10 it'll be more effort than it's worth because of washing, cutting, etc.

[implied]

i don't know. i never found it to be that much effort to cut and wash produce, although it's always easier if someone else is doing it for you.

[Slacker]

I think Si PoLR people can distrust the quality of food for no apparent reason, or lose their appetite easily is something is unappetizing. I think they're also likely to have a difficult time forcing themselves to eat something they don't like or denying themselves something they really want. I think Si PoLR are simply overly fussy about stuff like that. I also think it's difficult for them to buy things that will spoil in less than a week or eat leftovers (unless it's something they pretty much always feel like eating) because they can't simply talk themselves into wanting to eat something. If it's produce it's even worse because even if they wouldn't mind eating it, 9 times out of 10 it'll be more effort than it's worth because of washing, cutting, etc.

Hmm well some of this sounds a lot like me so I don't think it's all related to Si PoLR. Like I lose my appetite if something is unappetizing. And I can't eat something I don't like, and I have trouble denying myself things I do like. That sounds much more like Si dual-seeking than PoLR. Or even just plain an Si-dominant type. But certainly not Si avoidance - I'd think it would be someone with Si values in some way or another. Let me see about the rest. I don't eat leftovers, and I won't eat food that even has a chance at being spoiled. And I won't go through the trouble of fixing meals for just myself because it's too much effort, though I will do it for my family. My husband will eat leftovers. I never eat them - I'd rather make a sandwich or not eat anything. For some reason, even if I liked the food the first time, I can't bring myself to eat it the next day as leftovers.

[Kristiina]

*I eat fresh leftovers even if reheating them makes the structure icky. If I'm sure it hasn't gone bad, I'm not at all bothered that I ate the same thing the night before.
*I can deny myself yummy things, but I get very bitchy when I don't get what I want so usually it's not worth denying myself the little thing as it will just ruin my mood. I think it's got more to do with being in control and HA.
*I can ignore it when I just don't like the taste of the food, but I can never tolerate poor quality.

I'm trying to figure out how PoLR affects my cooking or attitude toward food in a way that makes me different from people who don't have PoLR... I need things to be extra fresh and I can never eat things that might be spoiled.

[Joy]

Do people always "avoid" their PoLR? It is a conscious function, just one that they can't exert effective control over. It's difficult to be "reasonable" about your PoLR. Sometimes people avoid it, sometimes they do things that show poor control over it. But again, it is a conscious function. IxTps, for example, can be emotional and even emotionally manipulative... they just don't totally understand the implications of what they're doing, and it's very easy for them to go overboard (their knowledge of this is what leads to avoidance in the first place).

[Slacker]

Yeah but if a dual-seeking Si and a PoLR Si look so much alike, then what value is there in looking at functions at all?

[Joy]

Dual seeking Si appreciates Si intervention and help, Si PoLR does not. ENxps aren't as sensitive to Si criticism and appreciate it when people provide direction. ENxjs dislike being criticized for their poor use of Si.

[implied]

mmh. okay ENFj sister works like this:

she will go out to whole foods/trader joes and buy tons of fresh vegetables and fruits. some weird things like mochi icecream (japanese treat that is covered in glutinous rice.)

she cooked once for me and her kids and it was a salad for everyone (grilled chicken for the kids and then she made me some asparagus since i don't eat meat.)

she doesn't actually cook that often at all, but what is in the fridge is always very fresh. i don't know if they even have canned goods in their house. i wasn't searching for them, but i really doubt they have microwaveable insta-meals.

the fridge is like: tons of water, fruit juices, fruits, vegetables, eggs, etc.

i can't really imagine her eating leftovers. she'd just as soon go out and buy something from a restaurant or go back to the grocery store and get more fresh stuff. she has the energy to do this at /all times/ it seems, so it doesn't pose much of an issue.

i'm like expat. i have a hard time imagining ENFjs cooking that much to begin with, but i swear she makes it sound like she cooks a lot.

[Joy]

I wish food came in liquid or pill form. Screw cooking.

[Khamelion]

i'm like expat. i have a hard time imagining ENFjs cooking that much to begin with, but i swear she makes it sound like she cooks a lot.

I know I erased most of it but especailly this last part, yes! The ENFj's I know like to make it seem like the cook so much and eat good things, even if it's only partially true.

Except for my Grandmom, she DOES cook and she DOES have TONS of leftovers, always.

[Khamelion]

I wish food came in liquid or pill form. Screw cooking.

cooking for yourself feels great, and cooking for others feel even more great...but NOT if they expect you to


liquid and pill form food doesn't make sense, thats just vitamins essentially. the point of eating actual food instead of just injesting vitamins as a diet, is the natural nutrients that come with it

[Megan]

Is there in good plain english definition of / polr anywhere? I am struggling to see that this function has much to do with being a good cook etc. My sister is ISFp for sure and she is an absolutely dreadful cook even though she does it more often than the average person. She tends to focus on the healthiness of the meal though, like she would cook with absolutely no salt/oil etc. Her pasta used to be especially dreadful ,her vegetables way too hard after "cooking" because apparently she is preserving the nutrients .

Her pasta was always soggy or hard and generally unpalatable until I thought her roughly how much time is needed to cook what amount and how to get it al dente and even now she has trouble getting it right sometimes and I cannot eat it if it is even slightly wrong. My sister and a few people often seem not especially particular about certain details of their food IMO. Could some of these things like being a good cook (or enjoying cooking) not have more to do with talent than anything socionics related? if it does then i think people with as a creative function might be better at it, my ESFj is a very good cook (and she bakes with near obsessive frequency) but I tend to attribute her cooking skills to talent rather than

[Pierreuse]

I think Si PoLR people can distrust the quality of food for no apparent reason, or lose their appetite easily is something is unappetizing. I think they're also likely to have a difficult time forcing themselves to eat something they don't like or denying themselves something they really want. I think Si PoLR are simply overly fussy about stuff like that. I also think it's difficult for them to buy things that will spoil in less than a week or eat leftovers (unless it's something they pretty much always feel like eating) because they can't simply talk themselves into wanting to eat something. If it's produce it's even worse because even if they wouldn't mind eating it, 9 times out of 10 it'll be more effort than it's worth because of washing, cutting, etc.

I agree with all of this and also what you said after that about Si-PoLR not appreciating help. If I really don't like how something tastes, I almost -can't- eat it. I was at Thanksgiving this previous year with my father and his side of the family which is mostly Si-valuing, except him (ESI or SEE, not sure which) and my cousin (SLE), and the Si crowd ate pretty much everything, whereas I only picked out the things I really really wanted to try. My dad ate hardly anything and my cousin kept letting our ESE grandmother talk her into eating more. It was disgusting. Eating is like, a totally different experience for them.

I once really pissed off my IEE friend by only drinking a tiny bit of a cocktail she made me with vodka, coffee and soda. Ick. The same friend had a fight with another EIE because the EIE only ate half the ingredients from a bowl of curry she made (I guess she didn't know the EIE wasn't a big fan of curry).

I frequently don't finish things other people make for me because I just don't like it and can't force myself to suffer through it, but I never criticize the food because I know I'm not knowledgeable about cooking. I think an Si-ego is more likely to say, "A chowder needs to be like this, not like that, which is why I won't eat this particular chowder." They're sort of cocky when it comes to that stuff and will tell you how much your food sucks. They're also the first to tell you if you're wearing too much perfume or if your outfit looks ugly. With them it really is personal. With Si-PoLR, I think we just don't know how to appreciate many facets of Si and being confronted with it can make us sheepish. We also don't appreciate people paying attention to how we use Si, whereas Si-DS types are usually looking for a lot of praise for it. The ones I know love to showcase their abilities and my IEE friend has said that she'd make a great housewife to a rich guy.

[Park]

The ones I know love to showcase their abilities and my IEE friend has said that she'd make a great housewife to a rich guy.

LOL

[Pierreuse]

LOL

Uh, I should add that it's because they seem sort of insecure that they want praise. I had an IEE roommate who would wake me up when her boyfriend was over so we could all eat the breakfast she had cooked up to impress him. That behavior lasted until she started dating an ESFj and invited him to live with us temporarily. He stole the show and wouldn't let her cook and heaped our plates full of food and wanted to talk about the food constantly while we were eating it. I think it made her even more insecure to be totally shoved aside and disregarded like that.

[willekeurig]

My mom isn't bad at all, though it's usually my dad who does it. If there's special event and he needs helping hands she'll surely be in the kitchen though. I think she enjoys cooking as a social event/offering food for others and fishing for compliments much more than the preparation itself. I'm not sure which subtype she is, but Fe would be my guess.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

MY MUM ALWAYS MAKES LARGE AMOUNTS OF THE FOODS A VERY VERY FAST AND A VERY TASTY BECAUSE WE NEED TO HAVE POWERS AND TIME TO CONQUER THE FRIGGIN WORLD

[ashlesha]

the only memorable eie cooking experience i have is when my aunt flipped out when i stayed at her house and her man and i woke up before she did and i made him bacon because we were both hungry. and she came in the room and got all territorial and was like NO NO NO he doesn't like it BURNT you don't even know what you're DOING. and she still gives me shit for "not knowing how to make bacon" even to this day. i just like it fucking crispy okay. silly sexual 2.

[Azure Flame]

I know a lot of EIE's who wish they were good cooks

[Beautiful sky]

I wish I never cooked
My friend, EIE, cooks great boxed risotto and quick fish dishes like herb crusted halibut; I say that's good enough

[Lao Tzunami]

My friend who is an EIE doesn't really care what he eats as longs as he doesn't starve. However, he worked as a pastry chef for a while because he is an artist and was great with presentation.

Both of us do this thing he calls the anaconda diet: when you get so absorbed in what you're doing you forget to eat for a day or two and then you suddenly realize how hungry you are and then you eat EVERYTHING

[mu4]

The best chef I know is EIE.

People take a perfectionist attitude with the 4th/vulnerable function and this is a area of paranoia and fear, which can be equally motivating as the base function. Individuals can develop skills in this area generally in a narrow field such as cooking, seduction, etc.

Having strong and strong helps the EIE achieve creativity, uniqueness and strong sense of emotional response from their food as well, which characterize the artistic side of cooking.

Just as often this vulnerability can be expressed in total avoidance of the topic or many other extremes of behavior.

As an evaluatory functions(strongest and weakest 1/4/5/8 and a producing function 2468, as well as a conscious function, the PoLR(4th function) is a area of extreme (but still conscious) behavior, often neurotic avoidance/engagement(fight or flight) responses.

[blackburry]

the only memorable eie cooking experience i have is when my aunt flipped out when i stayed at her house and her man and i woke up before she did and i made him bacon because we were both hungry. and she came in the room and got all territorial and was like NO NO NO he doesn't like it BURNT you don't even know what you're DOING. and she still gives me shit for "not knowing how to make bacon" even to this day. i just like it fucking crispy okay. silly sexual 2.

oh my dear lawd, her reaction would've annoyed the crap out of me.
I also don't like people cooking for me unless they are really good at it. If I know they don't cook a lot...I'll probably be pushing the food around on my plate looking for hair or uncooked meat. (My ESE mom sucks at cooking. she just reheats. somehow, I always find her hair in my food.)