Quote Originally Posted by Kim (nlo)
Ok, let's see here. I have known this guy for a long time. He is my friend and has been my friend for a long time. We were never romantically involved and I'm very sure that there was never an interest on his part. He very much enjoys my company and I very much enjoy his. I live on the other end of the country. He knows I care about him because, you know, friends care about each other even if they don't sleep with each other. Wow....
There is no need for explainging me the concept of friendship. I could be "guilty" of projection, but I have my concerns based on principles. I useally have friendships with my buddies, that's all. I did know a woman once who was an enfp like yourself. She sucked me into some kind of fairy tale of friendship for about a month, I think this friend relation between an enfp and an intj can be _very_ harmfull because you seem to encourige only elloborating on the ideals of this type, it has something very selfish to itself in my eyes. Based on an ever providing INTj. Unhealthy, I can't explain, I'm pretty new to socionics, there must be a technical term for it. It is if as denying something to the INTj. I for the life of me don't get why an INTj guy would want an enfp woman _friend_ in pretty much long parts of his life unless he likes to live inside his ideals only. A sure road to madness or fantasy land. You have buddies for helping you out, not ENFP woman who values his insight so much. It does not build his plans, it only satifies an outside persona, yours. I'd like to take care of my health too, perhaps I am more concerned about myself then your 'buddy' is. His depression might be a sign of that. In my worldview, man are sexual beings just like you. If you would go stand naked before him and tell him you want to have sex, would he say "Sorry, I just really value our friendship - it would ruin our established unique undestanding"? Perhaps you are disgusting in his eyes or he thinks who cares what the heck, let this silly woman be? Sure, I understand helping each other now and then, but being only friends... Look, he is a man, I just don't get it. It sounds like some old man in pampers with a woman having him on a leech to me.

So erm, that means my question is: does he wear pampers and do you have him on a leech? :wink:

Look, do you exchange fantasy ideals and concepts, philospohy etc? because that's a big enfp trap in my eyes. Not on purpose perhaps, but potentially very harmfull for an INTj if he let's himself into it too much. That is my concern, because he obviously cannot handle you.

Let me clarify: "You and your emotions" related to an entirely different issue and it seems as if it entirely rubbed you the wrong way for some reasons. Is there some sort of projection going on here? And no, rest assured, I don't make him depressed.
Still, you said it. I would not want you around me as a 'buddy' or whatever. Maybe he gets a kick out of it, I just don't know. There seems to be a fascination for him from you, but a very selfish sided one.

Ok, I will tell him that: " Sorry, honey, I'm too sugary sweet to benefit you. Forget all the years we have been friends and were there for each other. You are a male INTj and I'm too sweet to be your friend. I will depress you."
Some people need to simply help themselves. You sound like an older ENFP who has seen the light through INTJ's "wisdom". I just can't get that projection out of me.