Semi-duality Relations: Stories & Experiences

[vesstheastralsilky]

What has been your experience with Semi-Duality?

I had a long relationship with an IEE. He was a really kind person, but our relationship ended up being very hot/cold, on/off. It felt like every time you thought you were getting close to any goal in the relationship, we would switch out of sync and I would be denied. This is harmonious with the standard semi-duality description. Man, that relationship was the proverbial hot/cold. It was also hard to break after many years in (since I tend to overcommit).

[Lord Panda]

I relate to this. I had a best friend in college, LII and we were pretty on/off. When he was into me, I wasn't into him and vice versa. The flirting was good but it went no where. A few times I brought it up and he would brush it off. One time, I quite literally backed him into a corner and asked him out. He blurted out a bunch of excuses but didn't say 'no'outright and it resulted in yet another stale mate. Eventually I gave up altogether.

Some people have told me that semi duality is superior to duality... I don't think that's true at all.

[Irime]

My mom was EIE. Even ignoring some NTR factors our relationship was hot-cold. While I never had any doubts that she cared about me, there were many areas in which I needed help but feel neglected. For her I was the perfect child that she could brag about and in the next moment she would grumble about the smallest thing I couldn't do. One of the biggest advantages of having an EIE mother was mutual trust. I could go to her openly with any problem and even if she grumbled she tried to help with better or worse outcome. And she trusted me that I won't do anything stupid which is why I never rebelled. Even if we had different outlooks on some matter she wasn't deaf to my arguments (like some other family members ) and after hearing them she would go "Hey, that makes sense, do as you wish".

When I was about 13 I made friends with one EIE girl from parallel class. One day she just approached me and we started to talk. Only after a few days I realized that I didn't even know her name! Our friendship was restrained to the school only so maybe that's because our PoLR differences never managed to burst out. We would spend almost all breaks together either with books when I explained some things to her or she would drag me around school and socialize.

From this time I remember one EIE guy from year above who was my first crush. But he had a girlfriend and I had my rules so nothing came out of it. I'm wondering now how apparent was my interest - even though I was shy and secretive I would serve him a lingering look every now and then.

[vesstheastralsilky]

My mom was EIE. Even ignoring some NTR factors our relationship was hot-cold. While I never had any doubts that she cared about me, there were many areas in which I needed help but feel neglected. For her I was the perfect child that she could brag about and in the next moment she would grumble about the smallest thing I couldn't do. One of the biggest advantages of having an EIE mother was mutual trust. I could go to her openly with any problem and even if she grumbled she tried to help with better or worse outcome. And she trusted me that I won't do anything stupid which is why I never rebelled. Even if we had different outlooks on some matter she wasn't deaf to my arguments (like some other family members ) and after hearing them she would go "Hey, that makes sense, do as you wish".

When I was about 13 I made friends with one EIE girl from parallel class. One day she just approached me and we started to talk. Only after a few days I realized that I didn't even know her name! Our friendship was restrained to the school only so maybe that's because our PoLR differences never managed to burst out. We would spend almost all breaks together either with books when I explained some things to her or she would drag me around school and socialize.

From this time I remember one EIE guy from year above who was my first crush. But he had a girlfriend and I had my rules so nothing came out of it. I'm wondering now how apparent was my interest - even though I was shy and secretive I would serve him a lingering look every now and then.

Oooo, being served one of those lingering looks from an LII is very nice and memorable in my experience. Heh. You should know those are worth a lot to people you are interested in.

[Rebelondeck]

I had an excellent 4-year relationship with a semi-dual though she cheated on me, which is an aspect that I don't attribute to type. She attempted to repair the relationship but she couldn't allay my suspicion that the same error would eventually be repeated. In hindsight, we had very similar perceptions of the world so we weren't that complementary to one another and with other aspects considered, we perhaps made better buddies than mates. However, I still rank semi-dual as having the third-highest potential for a partnership being stronger cognitively than two stand-alone people......

a.k.a. I/O

[BabelFish]

I have only had friendships with my semi-duals.
I like their Te, it's nice. My closest LIE friend is an entrepreneur (stereotypically.) He's fun and very sincere, which I like.
However, I just can't deal with Si PoLR. Just being in his apartment becomes exasperating after a couple of hours.
Some LIEs have been interested in me romantically, but they push for an aggressor response that I'm just not going to give them. It creates tension.
Otherwise, they are fine. Excellent people to work with and to discuss ideas with. They tend to have an excellent sense of humor too.

[Adam Strange]

I have only had friendships with my semi-duals.
I like their Te, it's nice. My closest LIE friend is an entrepreneur (stereotypically.) He's fun and very sincere, which I like.
However, I just can't deal with Si PoLR. Just being in his apartment becomes exasperating after a couple of hours.
Some LIEs have been interested in me romantically, but they push for an aggressor response that I'm just not going to give them. It creates tension.
Otherwise, they are fine. Excellent people to work with and to discuss ideas with. They tend to have an excellent sense of humor too.

@BabelFish, I think what you wrote is fantastic. I'm making a personal copy of it to read whenever I find myself weakening around my attractive, intelligent, respectable, very well-put-together EII secretary who is newly single. I mean, if she were ESI, I'd be married again by now.
BUT, she isn't ESI and, while I've been refraining from getting close by telling myself that semi-duality is not a good match because "Victim-Infantile" and Strat's LIE-EII article, it is very good to be reminded that she, in turn, probably couldn't take my Si-PoLR.
I've been renovating my house for over a year now, and the kitchen consists of a sink (no counter, no cabinets), a stove, a refrigerator, and a microwave on a steel shelving unit. The walls and ceilings are bare studs. I can easily see how this would not be acceptable to an EII.

Thank you so much.

As for LIE's pushing for that Aggressor response from women, it's super true. The EII secretary cornered me last week after work with some papers to sign, everyone else had left the building. She stood really, really close while explaining what they were. I was thinking, "Is she just being helpful or is she looking for something more", so I "accidentally" touched her arm. She immediately turned full towards me and gave me this look, like, "Well, come on then", but didn't actually say anything. Just that passive look. I thought, "Good Grief. Do not do this, you will regret it forever" and I asked her if she's started dating some LSE yet, to defuse the moment and get things away from the here and now.

If she hadn't been so absolutely passive, or if she were an ESI, then that would have had a very different outcome.

I should add that, while she is a great friend and a great professional resource, we don't work perfectly together. There is a lack of implementation (Se?) about our interactions.

[Beautiful sky]

I have only had friendships with my semi-duals.
I like their Te, it's nice. My closest LIE friend is an entrepreneur (stereotypically.) He's fun and very sincere, which I like.
However, I just can't deal with Si PoLR. Just being in his apartment becomes exasperating after a couple of hours.
Some LIEs have been interested in me romantically, but they push for an aggressor response that I'm just not going to give them. It creates tension.
Otherwise, they are fine. Excellent people to work with and to discuss ideas with. They tend to have an excellent sense of humor too.

Hi BF

[The Reality Denialist]

Some of them are very cool. Something sensing tends to make mental notes in my mind especially right kind. Hard to put it into words. Quiet monitors of external. Anyways, hardest thing is obviously contact in ethical realm. I tend to find their attention to practicality bit funny. Not off putting but funny.

[ruined]

i've had more experience with SEEs romantically than SLE, mostly because SLE women seem to be quite rare around here and SLE dudes are usually very straight so this thread is kinda perfect, just in time

well i can say that SEEs certainly differ from me in how they view love, they have a much more stable view of it like this "we are together and we are tied" where my version of a relationship is more "we mean this, we give this to the world, and we aren't just together but we are vital and needed in this time" - not exactly that simple but yeah. SEEs a lot of the time seem very victim (surprisingly enough) to how you, the other half, take them. all of the SEEs i've been with are always asking me "how do you see me" "what am I to you" (this could be my issue with not forming strong opinions about people i actually like whereas when it comes to people i dislike i can always find something to complain about. SEEs usually seem to find my essence very appealing, they always have something positive to say and are very gracious in that regard. the issues come in that we usually don't see eye to eye on worldly matters which doesn't really matter to me and that we are sometimes bad at interpreting each other's words and emotional states, especially the latter.


overall, my experience with SEEs as semi-duals has been positive

[PussyInASarcophagus]

They really don't like play fighting lol and may take your words literally

[Faith]

I love this friendship. Tons of understanding and fun. Low maintenance so no ethics. Its really good.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Lots of mutual respect, affection and understanding. Over all it is a positive relationship more than not... but it can be hard for anything to manifest in a more corporeal 'real/physical form.' It kinda stays stuck in that gooey lovey dovey mode too much. Which don't get me wrong, I love and need that- as the world can be a very cold, cruel place... but at the end of the day I just kind of need cold hard logic to balance me out better. Corrupted individuals often confuse (or try to reframe) intentional heartlessness with logic. But logic is not cruelty. Logic is logic and its wonderful.

[cookie123]

I've had plenty of experience with LSE's since they are a fairly common type where I live.

I once had a semi-dual teacher who was an enneagram 1. Many of the students (including me) disliked him because of his demanding nature, his obsessive attention to detail and his temper. But there were a few occasions where I remember thinking we were similar and I think he was able to sense it too. This was long before I discovered socionics.

I know of another LSE 3w4 who is a classmate of mine and although we've never really spoken with one another, I've always felt this strange tension between us (not sexual) and more than once I've seen him staring directly at me. He's outspoken and always the first person to state his opinion on any given subject. I feel fairly neutral towards him but my IEE friend can't stand him and has ranted about him multiple times because according to her 'he always states his opinions as if they are facts'.

I have plenty more examples, some of which are very negative but to put it simply I have very mixed feelings about them.

Whilst I can appreciate their ability to work hard and their general consistency I cannot envision myself being in a relationship with an LSE or even maintaining a close friendship with one . I often feel pressurised by them and I struggle to understand why they are so anal about minor details. I feel that in a relationship I'd probably have to always defend myself from their constant criticism and I'm far too sensitive to be around somebody like that

[JadeHorse]

SEIs are very talented and very good at just being relaxed and happy in stuff im not. I've had quite a few friends of this type I think, it's probably the easiest type to make friends w for me, but, their fe creative > te, occasionally shallow, cliquish, they probably think I can be occasionally mean and too serious... sometimes i'll say something in a matter of fact way and it doesn't go down well and i'm left feeling like I can only show them positive emotions and need to sugar coat stuff and keep conversation light. Sometimes I get the impression that I'm too serious or they think i'm 'acting deep' and should lighten up.

[Beautiful sky]

I can’t get them to do anything I want. No amount of what I say has any push or force. Ask Adam. Also my Fi then becomes more like manipulation than loving advice from a friend. All bad no good. I love how positive they are

[Sol]

they are the same in the suggestive region alike duals. for me as base T they gave the feelings I'd want to have
unlike activators they also have E/I and J/P I prefer in people
it would be easier for me to deal with softer and wiser people as duals EII. but it's good people, at least, for romances and many surface dealing. I feel a higher trust to them as people. and they inspire in me a higher compassion to them

nontypes reasons are also important for good and bad

[Satan]

Maybe she needs to expand her life away from her boyfriend.

[Blaze]

sounds like the marriage is also at a critical point. 7 years and 12 years according to the research are stress points.

dealing with substance abuse on a daily basis is a total drag, too. like, how is this affecting his college studies? is she working? i could see her start to get pissed off that he's all party hardy and she's working her ass off. again, a common theme with substance abuse.

semi duality could be a way to label the communication problem they are having as well as the difference in values.

[Khola aka Bee]

Oh hai istpunk. I hate you too <3

From someone who has an INTp dad- at least we have empathy for others! Does it bother you at all that you just turned the whole conversation around to complain about things in your own life in a derogatory way to others when someone was showing geniune care for a close friend and reaching ou for help? Of course not. You didn't even think about it.

Why don't you go and complain about something IRL.