Semi-duality Relations: Stories & Experiences

[Attis]

I have an SLE cousin. He used to be a high ranking gang member. When I was in school being bullied, he would make sure that bullies laid off of me. He came to me a few times for advice on his purpose and what his long term goals in life should be. When we were adults, he noticed that I always stayed inside by myself, so he tried taking me out around his friends a few times. I just awkwardly sat there stone faced while they did drugs and dicked around. He told me that it pissed him off how I never opened up or made an effort to join in with his group when they were trying to have fun. He stopped trying to hang around me after awhile.

[wacey]

I have an SLE cousin. He used to be a high ranking gang member. When I was in school being bullied, he would make sure that bullies laid off of me. He came to me a few times for advice on his purpose and what his long term goals in life should be. When we were adults, he noticed that I always stayed inside by myself, so he tried taking me out around his friends a few times. I just awkwardly sat there stone faced while they did drugs and dicked around. He told me that it pissed him off how I never opened up or made an effort to join in with his group when they were trying to have fun. He stopped trying to hang around me after awhile.

You didn't mobilize any Fe for him it sounds like ..?

[Attis]

You didn't mobilize any Fe for him it sounds like ..?

Most likely.

[Jarno]

Of course type can change in each temperament (EJ EP IP IJ) ring.

Huh? never heard of this. Do you mean for example an INTP can change into an ISFP for a year, and then change back again?

[FDG]

Of course type can change in each temperament (EJ EP IP IJ) ring.

Huh? never heard of this. Do you mean for example an INTP can change into an ISFP for a year, and then change back again?

I think so, but not everybody agrees on this (it would happen like this: an INTp-Te strenghtens his Si to the point it takes over the Ni; then from here he strengthen the Fe to the point it takes over the Te, and so on)

[Jarno]

impossible.

How come you are constantly making up your own theory's instead of just noticing in real life what socionics predict.

You are starting to become a socionics rebel.

[FDG]

impossible.

How come you are constantly making up your own theory's instead of just noticing in real life what socionics predict.

You are starting to become a socionics rebel.

I notice in real life what socionics predicts, and modify it according to what reality says, which is not always coincident with the theory, of course.

You OTOH seem to be close minded :S if a relationship doesn't go as socionics predicts, the theory is wrong, not reality.

[Expat]

impossible.

How come you are constantly making up your own theory's instead of just noticing in real life what socionics predict.

You are starting to become a socionics rebel.

That's not necessarily his own theory; that's one of the points of Smilexian socionics:

http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?t...xian_socionics

[FDG]

impossible.

How come you are constantly making up your own theory's instead of just noticing in real life what socionics predict.

You are starting to become a socionics rebel.

That's not necessarily his own theory; that's one of the points of Smilexian socionics:

http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?t...xian_socionics

I still fail to see how it can be considered an hypothesis when it so so clearly observable and just an extension of the normal model A.

[Ms. Kensington]

cool have to read me some smilex.

[Ms. Kensington]

a disgusting picture of an ENTj and an INFj. on some level I covet their life but then i started thinking about semi duals in general. I've yet to have romantically mingled.. er yes, mingled with a dual i was attracted to, but have had some piercing moments with my semi. Anyone want to talk about semi-duals' pros and cons compared with duals?

(actually im not sure of their types, but this is my best guess)

[redbaron]

Yup, I'm with dolphin on that one. adorable photo!!

[betterthan]

Have you had a relationship with one? What is it like being close to your semi-dual?

[Wynch]

I've never had a relationship of the Significant Other variety with and ISTp, but two of my closest friends are ISTp. I really enjoy my relationship with each one, it's always very comfortable and relaxed.

[misutii]

nope. I seem to get along well with SEEs over short periods (as acquaintances) but then we always end up going in different directions (not deliberately but in a "Hi/what's new?/nice seeing you/Bye" sort of way)

[redbaron]

same as misutii. I do like SEEs though, I just haven't really had a chance to develop a close relationship with one. It always feels like they already have enough friends so I don't pursue. And if they don't pursue, it generally doesn't happen. The one male SEE I know gets kind of nervous around me. He's still really charming but I can tell he feels a little bit self-conscious. I think there's some attraction there which would preclude a closer friendship since we're both married.

[xyz]

all my semi duals smell like fresh blueberries.

[crazedrat]

it's like they swim in this sea of Fi and it's a part of their world, and i have no say in it, nothing. i realise that ILIs have Fe polr and so are hateful to emotional behavior and focus on Fi aspects instead. they do not feel comfortable being just loose i guess, very secretive. they do not express how they feel about you and so there is no that vital feedback for an Fi polr carrier. it's like we try to connect, but fall apart in process. or something like that.

yeah thats true. i have the same problem reversed with estp, where i can't relate to their fe seeking and want them to back off with it the whole time. especially in real life; and especially with estp-se. when they go into full fe mode, i end up just sitting there and saying "uhuh.....yep.. err nah"... for a while. But there is good sexual chemistry between semiduals i think. so maybe you should go have sex with a bunch of ilis and do the world a favor. they need it. even though... i thought you were isfp, and not estp. I have to admit i found it strange i got along with an isfp, though ..... anyway, yeah. ILIs are natural killers. as you learn socionics you can make those weaknesses go away though.. eventually they should all be gone. if you are learning on here, anyway ...
not just dicking around and repeating yourself, or being the mind police

[Mariano Rajoy]

Semi-duals can be quite nice. At the very least the SD will not hit your PoLR, just expect it from you. At the very best, each person can learn to give a bit of the 4th function and be a better, more developed person for it.

[EllaC]

Does this sound normal?

1. Meet, have a good conversation, playful... good fun
2. Maybe progress this further (ie. male and female)
3. Get pissed off over lack of contact
4. Semi-ignore semi-dual
5. Feel bad about this
6. See semi-dual and act all friendly again (maybe after they approach me / maybe me approach them)
7. Progress
8. Get pissed off as not meeting expectations... lacking communication, no idea what wants
9. Maybe piss them off
10. Feel guilty, and then contact them

and over again...!

Solution?

[Jarno]

Does this sound normal?

1. Meet, have a good conversation, playful... good fun
2. Maybe progress this further (ie. male and female)
3. Get pissed off over lack of contact
4. Semi-ignore semi-dual
5. Feel bad about this
6. See semi-dual and act all friendly again (maybe after they approach me / maybe me approach them)
7. Progress
8. Get pissed off as not meeting expectations... lacking communication, no idea what wants
9. Maybe piss them off
10. Feel guilty, and then contact them

and over again...!

Solution?

If you know that you are semi duals, then this is what to expect, the moth and the flame.

(Yet, if you don't know for sure what kind of relationship you are in, this thing also happens with conflictors, just a bit more agressive.)

Solution: there is no solution, socionics interaction pattern cannot be changed drastically.
so the only solution there is, find your dual. and you don't have these problems anymore.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Hmm that sounds about right, at least if I knew Dolphin in real life I can see how our interactions would play out like that.

Solutions... well.................................... act more like that person's dual, instead of semi-dual. So they won't feel so much bitterness at your depature. Don't obviously give them such a good boost, be more like the dual and be subtle, gentle over time. So when they go away each time it's not such a big dramatic departure that leaves your heart empty and hollow....more like, a part of them is always with you.

Dolphin gives me more raw energy than Sean, but ultimately Sean is the one I like a little more because I feel the power he does give me isn't such an addiction that I could leave without it, I could take him or leave him and because of that freedom he gives me, he is for the best because Love can't be an Obsession, it has to be pure selfless devotion for the other- which is what he gives me when we interact. I can just be myself TOTALLY. Dolphin IS still awesome, but alas- there is a difference between dual and semi-dual.

[Satan]

That's one of the nicest things about duals. You can be yourself, and it's okay with them. They like all those weird things about you that other people just find weird. Kind of like Slacker_Mom's story about meeting her husband, and how all the ENFps that commented said how much they like the quiet mysteriousness of the ISTp. I don't think I could take it, but they like it. Funny how that works.

She made ISTp's sound very creepy. And they all lapped it up

[Banana Pancakes]

She made ISTp's sound very creepy. And they all lapped it up

And I thought Beta ST was creepy.

[Satan]

And I thought Beta ST was creepy.

I'm gonna stalk your ass. I need to do something with this carrot. There are all these carrots that appeared in my backyard. Who put them there.

[jessica129]

This sounds like all of my past relationships, haha

[Slacker]

This sounds more like me and INTps than me and ISFps.

[crazedrat]

yeah that's how that goes. but there is one solution, which is to make compromises

[Creepy-Cyclops]

I am curious what you think of this, and if it's happened to you.

There's a girl that i'm working with just now, and it's strange because she seems really familiar. It's almost like i've met her before. She seems familiar in personality and also somehow in looks. After working with her for a few days, I mentioned this to her. This seemed to suprise her and she said that she was thinking the same thing about me.

We exchanged surnames and details of where we grew up and other places etc, but it turns out that we haven't met before. If we have - we both don't recall.

I realised today that this person is an ENTp. I tend not to meet too many female ENTp's, and I think she is reminding me of a girl I knew a few years ago who was also ENTp.

It's like she's someone who is familiar, I am relaxed with but there's a certain distance at the same time, but still inheritently comfortable around each other. I trust her ability to do things and like how she handles things (probably my DS picking up on this).

I think it's interesting how we both seem to be familiar to each other. I wonder if we're somehow picking up on the semi-duality aspect and relating it back to other semi duals, or if it's just the affect of two dominant DS functions on each other. Maybe a bit of both.

[redbaron]

hmmm, this has happened to me before. It was with a lookalike relation. Turned out it was at least partially because he reminded me of my dad. Not just physically but with his mannerisms and such. It was weird.

now I'm friends with this guy who's my dual and I don't get that feeling at all (that I've known him before) even though we do have all that other dual stuff they describe (like feeling perfectly comfortable and joyful, laughing all the time with them, etc). But I think that's because I've never experienced duality before so it's clear to me that it's new.

If you had a friendship/relationship with the previous ENTp, it would make sense that you'd recognize the new ENTp at least subconsciously as familiar.

[bobbybeam]

so, ENFp here. i think i have recently met my semi-dual and although we get along rather well, our conversations feel rather void...of something. i find myself bored, unimpressed, and not enlightened AT ALL.

is this common? is it because he lacks the extroverted logic that i so crave for? or maybe it is his extroverted feeling that leaves a bad taste in my mouth...blah! either way, i am soo unimpressed and not smitten at all...

any ideas as to why exactly? i found my beneficiary to be more attractive than this.

[JuJu]

so, ENFp here. i think i have recently met my semi-dual and although we get along rather well, our conversations feel rather void...of something. i find myself bored, unimpressed, and not enlightened AT ALL.

is this common? is it because he lacks the extroverted logic that i so crave for? or maybe it is his extroverted feeling that leaves a bad taste in my mouth...blah! either way, i am soo unimpressed and not smitten at all...

any ideas as to why exactly? i found my beneficiary to be more attractive than this.

I've found this to be true with my semi-dual as well... INTjs--I like them a lot, we get along well, but I can't say I've ever been "smitten..." I've been bored too, and unimpressed.

INTjs lack Se, which I've found makes me attracted, and stay interested long-term.

Their Ne doesn't put me off... It's more what they don't have (Se) than what they do...

I've found that I prefer Mirage relations to semi-dual relations romantically... In terms of friendship, it's the other way around.

[thePirate]

I've found this to be true with my semi-dual as well... INTjs--I like them a lot, we get along well, but I can't say I've ever been "smitten..." I've been bored too, and unimpressed.

INTjs lack Se, which I've found makes me attracted, and stay interested long-term.

Their Ne doesn't put me off... It's more what they don't have (Se) than what they do...

I've found that I prefer Mirage relations to semi-dual relations romantically... In terms of friendship, it's the other way around.

serious? Ive never experienced semi-dual but mirage makes me want to off myself

[silverchris9]

Yeah, I find that with semi-duals, we can get along great and have a tight friendship, but I can't have a "deep" conversation with them the same way I can with an IEI or an SLE; our styles of thinking tend to be too different. Of course, if we have an "artificial" (that is, external) aid to conversation, such as a shared set of terms of a specific field (literary criticism or the theology of a particular writer, for example), I'm sure that difficulty would be eased somewhat.

My brother is SEE, and we almost never talk about "deep" stuff (although when I explained some Shakespeare to him, he understood and took to it quite well). With philosophical stuff, he's generally better with my mom, who's IEE (I think). I think it's a Ti vs. Te thing. Anyway, we usually make jokes and reference family history or talk about people we know in common or random funny things from TV shows, movies, etc., and it's always a lot of fun. I find that I can usually talk about shared history, even shared cultural history, with people of most types, especially alpha and gamma, and have fun that way, even if we're not particularly compatible socionics/information metabolism-wise.

[Galen]

For me, I feel that semi-duality being described as the 'moth and the flame' relationship seems very apt. I find that I have lots to talk about with ISFps and that we get along extraordinarily well. But every now and again we do something that annoys the other person tremendously; specifically, I feel as if my ISFp friends can be too silly at times, and that I can be too serious at times.

[Gilly]

serious? Ive never experienced semi-dual but mirage makes me want to off myself

I've known some really cool LIIs, conversation is really easy with them and it's pretty simple to get them under your arm or whatever, but they are sort of unremarkable personality-wise; very interesting, but not engaging enough or really challenging. I find a lot of LII women attractive; I lost my virginity to one. I rarely dislike LIIs.

ESIs, on the other hand, are really hit or miss: some of them seem cool, but a lot of them just sort of turn me off, don't interest me at all, or seem misguided. A lot of them just seem way too reticent, not involved enough, sometimes even the cooler ones.

[Cyrano]

I find a lot of LII women attractive; I lost my virginity to one.

Did you "lost" it or give it away? :wink:

[Jarno]

so, ENFp here. i think i have recently met my semi-dual and although we get along rather well, our conversations feel rather void...of something. i find myself bored, unimpressed, and not enlightened AT ALL.

is this common?

yes if you've read some semi dual relationship descriptions it says:

The extraverts doesn't pay attention or listen to the introvert. The extravert does most of the talking.

[MatthewZ]

Didn't you say you found an SLI not too long ago? Why are you settling for SEI now?

[Wynch]

FWIW I have this same problem with my Semi-Dual boy friend but on a logic plane. If I try to have a discussion of something from a theoretical perspective you can just see my boyfriend's brain turn off because he sees it as highly impractical and not really in touch with reality. Generally we get on very well but it's obvious that we under-value that rational trait in each other. However it doesn't really bother me because we have a million other things in common and I have an EXE best friend who eats up my hypothesizing.