I think I could get over physical infidelity. When I said it's not an issue, I don't mean it wouldn't hurt on some level (but I suspect that would be largely ego: why am I not enough? not good enough? what's wrong with me that made him go elsewhere? etc.) but it wouldn't...destroy me. I find it is easy to do physical things which are meaningless, and presume others feel the same way (though intellectually I know it is not the case).
I'm not sure I could ever get over emotional infidelity.
allez cuisine!
actually, I just found another study consistent with that:
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=36304In the first study, Harris measured the blood pressure and heart rate of 43 women and 36 men as they imagined scenarios of their mates committing either sexual or emotional infidelity. She found that men showed a greater physical reaction to sexual infidelity, while women reacted similarly to both scenarios--with a slight tendency to react more like the men to the sexual infidelity scenario.
but the short term responses they were measuring probably don't match up well to longer term effects
Interesting you say that, since I've been thinking about that lately, and I am the same way. However, I do agree with what hellothere wrote, in that physical infidelity gets more of a rise out of me. Just the thought of it disturbs me a lot... Maybe I don't feel the same way about emotional infidelity because I am pretty confident in that area. I take it as I might have not done enough or something like that.
I don't judge people that find it hard to be completely monogamous, it's just that I would never date them.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I can see how physical infidelity would be more damaging to EIIs because they are so vastly worried and unsure of their physicality. EIIs are generally quite critical of their beauty, of their looks, and of their ability to please others by means of physical efforts. They seem to not feel much strength there, and so a physical "betrayal" or abandonment would be much more hurtful or dangerous or challenging.
Yeah, I relate to that. Although I don't necessarily see asking questions as making yourself vulnerable. It can, yes. But it can also be a way to simply learn more about a situation.
I agree that I don't need to konw where my SO is every moment of the day. What would make me wonder about things is if it looked like there was an inentional effort to deceive me or other people she was close to, but that's standard.
As far as physical and emotional faithfulness, I've figured out that both are very important to me. And if they are not both important to me, then it is not really a relationship to the caliber that I really want. Yes, you can have minor relationships where it is more about sex, or more about having a warm emotional feeling. But when I really think of a REAL relationship, everything is there. Mind, body, soul, heart, everything. And it goes both way too, I'd want to grow together in those areas myself.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
This makes me cringe... Someone talking about this in real life would make me really uncomfortable, and soon after, I would probably go to the gym or excercise. Also, that's why I would overdo stuff like massaging (relating to that strange thread I started before) to assure myself that I can actually cause physical comfort.
I agree with this a lot. Though I wouldn't say they hurt me 'equally'. I do think the physical infidelity would bother me more, but that kind of has some built in assumptions behind it, like that there was an emotional intimacy which led into the physical act. So in some sense it seems like a two-step process. Not necessarily though.
If my SO cheated on me saying it was purely physical, no-strings attached, it would almost hurt me more in a way. That is, everything that we had or could have was tossed aside for a momentary impulse or satisfaction. Maybe hurting 'more' is the wrong way to put it for me though. Depending on the circumstances, they would hurt differently, for different reasons, and the above scenario would not be the worst by any leap of the imagination.
Moonlight will fall
Winter will end
Harvest will come
Your heart will mend
Yeah, I think I didn't make that distinction clear at all, but that's exactly it.
eta: ...content zapped! pm me if you want to know what I wrote - I just don't want to leave it up in public. /eta.
Huh, how did this turn into a 'I love INFjs' thing? This is a little more revealing than I'm certain I'm comfortable with. So don't blame me if it doesn't stay up. >.< Unefille will find this hilarious because it took me a while to accept this whole duality lark.
Last edited by idolatrie; 05-18-2008 at 03:33 AM.
allez cuisine!
After driving around this afternoon and thinking about it more I was going to come back here to post something similar to this munenori.
I guess I would assume that if they had cheated it wouldn't be only for physical reasons (maybe because I couldn't do this). It is very hard, if not completely impossible, for me to have a physical realtionship with someone I do not love.
If someone only "cheated" by having an emotional relationship I would assume that the next step was physical.
So I guess I could only assume that if they were willing to physically cheat that either they really did have an emotional bond with the person they cheated on me with, or that what we had wasn't worth not screwing up and therfore we did not have as strong of an emotional bond as I had thought.
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
Hmm...is that just when guys compliment you, or girls as well? I know my EII friend makes little derogatory remarks about her appearance randomly, and I always go 'no, don't say that! it's not true!' (because it isn't!) and I completely mean that, irregardless of what situation we're in/tone I'm using.
Unefille can attest to how I somehow end up always going on about how amazing an EII is when I'm around them, and it's completely not...um, planned. Or directed at getting something from them. I just, all the EIIs I know I think are incredible and I want to tell them that? Does this come across the wrong way/give another impression??
allez cuisine!
From guys and girls. Girls I may think they are trying to be nice/ but are really being fake because thats what girls do with each other a lot I have noticed.
No from my experiences with LSE it probably doesn't come across wrong or give another impression. Actually I think it is nice when an LSE says it because it seems so out of the blue when they do it. Like they actually noticed something real and are making a comment. They usually don't come across as fake or needing something from me. I still am skeptical though, or at least am like . . ."OK. . .I guess. If you say so." (confused) Because I cannot see it myself.
I guess this may be like when someone tells an LSE that they like them, because well they are a "nice" person. I have said this to more than one LSE and it seems like it has confused them. They seem to wonder why I would say such a thing. Sometimes if I am around an LSE I cannot help but tell them this because they are great people, with great moral character. It is very special and refreshing and it makes me want to point this out to them, because sometimes I don't think they can see it and get down on themselves.
Maybe we need to be told we are pretty and you guys need to be reminded that you are nice and very very likable/lovable. : )
PS LSE are very hot too!
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
And their eyes, god, so big and open and kind, and the way they look at you! Like you have their attention and you're worthy. Like you can actually drop your guard, not have to hold yourself back and away and do the whole following the mating game rules. That they won't take advantage of you
I've dated and been around a lot of different types of girls. INFjs are refreshing.- and after having pretty much only dated ESFp guys (I think), that's a nice change.
I did not pay idolatrie to say any of this post.Huh, how did this turn into a 'I love INFjs' thing? This is a little more revealing than I'm certain I'm comfortable with. So don't blame me if it doesn't stay up. >.< Unefille will find this hilarious because it took me a while to accept this whole duality lark.
Don't you dare tempt me to talk about what I like about EII women. Again.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
"What idolatrie wrote" (not quoting since she might delete the post later)
lol, this is very interesting!! But, obviously this is not something I would hear in real life. I would like to read more, haha. There is this ESTj girl who I met in highschool who I had a crush on but I never really thought she would be attracted to me, dated jocks, etc. Years later, I still think about her from time to time, which is weird. I was thinking of getting in touch with her, even though it's kind of crazy.
What Christy said is basically a direct quote from one EII profile, about being told in a calm tone.If someone tells me I am physically attractive I just can't believe them. Unless they tell me in a very calm and quite tone if no one is around and I know they don't want something from me. But even then I am skeptical.
Yes, issues with my body bother me A LOT.
I was talking with her earlier about the importance of physical initiative, as in Sereno's bit there. Maybe, if Christy wants, we can talk about it (figure out how to word it so it is appropriate) here on the forum in some way.
Every EII is this way, in one way or another. It makes me want to prove them wrong in the most direct way possible......Hmm...is that just when guys compliment you, or girls as well? I know my EII friend makes little derogatory remarks about her appearance randomly, and I always go 'no, don't say that! it's not true!' (because it isn't!) and I completely mean that, irregardless of what situation we're in/tone I'm using.
I know what you mean, idolatrie.Unefille can attest to how I somehow end up always going on about how amazing an EII is when I'm around them, and it's completely not...um, planned. Or directed at getting something from them. I just, all the EIIs I know I think are incredible and I want to tell them that? Does this come across the wrong way/give another impression??
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I see how it would be harder for INFj girls. Just be healthy Christy and project the stuff inside you, that's all the matters. I understand the pressure women must feel with looking "hot" and the like, but there are guys out there that are more attentive to personality, ahem...
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
But like, I don't think it's about saying you should want her (general her here) only for her personality. That's like implicitly saying you don't think she's attractive, or aren't validating her physical appearance. And I mean, that's part of who you are too! I know that isn't what you guys were saying, but it's something that I pick up on as a girl. I'd be pretty sad if my SO didn't think I was attractive.
And I think the saddest thing that girls are taught by society is that you have to conform to some other external standard of beauty. Rather than what you are and how you express your style is beautiful. So I just want to say I think delta girl NF style is AWESOME.
I also have this bizarre desire to like, want to take on the world for EIIs. It's so stupid, because they clearly don't need me to. Like I heard from one's best friend that he was overcommitted and getting sick (it's cold season here, *blows nose*) and I just wanted to tell everyone to get off his back, and organise his schedule and bring him soup and all this crazy stuff. And like, he doesn't need me to do any of that! He's perfectly capable of managing his own life. But. Yeah. *hides face*
haha, I probably wouldn't say that in real life. I prefer actions to words, though sometimes after (quite) a few drinks some things come bubbling out. But god, they're so tall and solid and I just want to climb them like a tree. *bites lip* yeah, not going to start up again, promise.
I think LSE girls can really easily get sucked into relationships they're not really interested in. As a girl, you're meant to be in touch with your feelings and all that, but well, I just don't think we are. So if a guy takes the initiative, it's easy to just go along with it. And the ones who do take the initiative are usually going to, well, quite frankly not be the kind of guys you actually want to date. It took me a long time to realise this. I had a very different idea of the 'ideal' guy for me before I came to socionics. Part of it is just maturity, too.
Maybe you should get in touch with her! Now that I'm a couple of years out of high school, I can say that the people from then who I do bump into again I appreciate in a completely different way to how things were back in hs, and definitely for the better. So who knows? I don't think it's too crazy!
Last edited by idolatrie; 05-18-2008 at 04:08 AM.
allez cuisine!
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
You're right, but honestly, personality stands out more to me. Of course, physical attraction has to be there too.
What?? It's not stupid AT ALL. In fact, it's way to get big brownie points. I'm very receptive to being taking care of with the following rules: a) not in excess, since I don't want to become completely dependent on someone if I don't need to be, b) what is being given to me actually helps cure the sickness, c) is done out of good will and not to get something from me. Sometimes when I talk to ESTjs and comment that I'm feeling sick, or in some other physical situation, it's to get some kind of "caregiving" response. I'm not saying that it's taking care of me necessarily, but maybe offering an advice or something.
lmao
I might try it, definitely considering it.
Haha, quite possibly one of the cutest things I've read on here!
In my experience, this rings very true. I have a female ESTj friend of mine who, interestingly, was dating another ESFp friend until recently, but she very much likes to 'be' in relationships.I think LSE girls can really easily get sucked into relationships they're not really interested in. As a girl, you're meant to be in touch with your feelings and all that, but well, I just don't think we are. So if a guy takes the initiative, it's easy to just go along with it. And the ones who do take the initiative are usually going to, well, quite frankly not be the kind of guys you actually want to date. It took me a long time to realise this. I had a very different idea of the 'ideal' guy for me before I came to socionics. Part of it is just maturity, too.
Moonlight will fall
Winter will end
Harvest will come
Your heart will mend
Exactly, and, it's also disrespecting what we have "built" together. That's how I look at getting closer to someone, building foundations to withstand things that can happen in the future.
I've thought about this too. I know this song is very cheesy, etc, but it suits this well:
"Making Love Out of Nothing at All"
Air Supply
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FkB1iA9c8pA&feature=related
There are even some parts in the song that I can relate to, or at least, think I understand what is meant.
Matt Bailey...LSE-Te
Last edited by Kill4Me; 06-15-2018 at 02:13 AM.
John Gilligan...LSE-Si 8w7 so/sp
Some Gilligan footage at the end.
Veronica Guerin was ESI-Fi 2w1 sp/sx
"When she began to cover drug dealers, and gained information from convicted drugs criminal John Traynor, she received numerous death threats. The first violence against her occurred in October 1994, when two shots were fired into her home after her story on murdered crime kingpin Martin Cahill was published. Guerin dismissed the "warning". The day after writing an article on Gerry "The Monk" Hutch,[10] on 30 January 1995, she answered her doorbell to a man pointing a revolver at her head. The gunman missed and shot her in the leg. Regardless, she vowed to continue her investigations. Independent Newspapers installed a security system to protect her, and the Gardaí gave her a 24-hour escort; however, she did not approve of this, saying that it hampered her work.[citation needed]
On 13 September 1995, convicted criminal John Gilligan, Traynor's boss, attacked her when she confronted him about his lavish lifestyle with no source of income.[10] He later called her at home and threatened to kidnap and rape her son, and kill her if she wrote anything about him"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veronica_Guerin
Note the method -- a motorcycle assassin.
"The court also heard evidence that Gilligan phoned Ms Guerin and threatened to murder her, the day after she had "doorstepped" him.
The murder of Ms Guerin, married with one young son, led to one of the biggest criminal investigations in Ireland to hunt down the killers.
Ms Guerin, 37, was crime correspondent of the Sunday Independent newspaper and had won awards for her work exposing criminals in the Irish Republic.
She was shot dead on June 26, 1996, on the Naas road in Dublin, when a man on a motorcycle fired six bullets from a .357 Magnum revolver into her body.
Opening the prosecution case, Peter Charleton said Gilligan was the "controlling mind" behind the assassination. "He committed this offence through his agents, his agents being members of a gang under his control who all of the while acted according to his will.""
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/guer...hears-1.374363
Last edited by Kill4Me; 06-29-2018 at 12:29 AM.
Katie Hopkins...LSE-Te 2w1 so/sp
Gordon Ramsay...LSE-Te 3w2 so/sp
Mark "Jacko" Jackson...LSE-Si 6w5 so/sp
His voice cracks and tremors.
The only valid breakdown for every enneagram type wing and stack here:
https://stackemup.livejournal.com/
The only valid VI templates for each socionics type and subtype here:
https://www.pinterest.com/socionics/
Dan Bilzerian...LSE-Te 9w8 sx/sp
...
Last edited by Kill4Me; 01-16-2019 at 12:25 AM.
Ray Lewis...LSE-Te 7w8 so/sp
Sam Kekovich...LSE-Si 6w7 so/sp
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 05-10-2019 at 11:20 PM.
-
Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Grant Cardone...LSE-Te 7w8 sp/so
Steve Richards...LSE-Si 2w1 sp/so