Quote Originally Posted by idolatrie View Post
I've got to say if someone did that to me, I would feel manipulated, and in a bad way. Really bad.

I know I've made this point before, but if someone told me they couldn't explain something for whatever reason that I thought was valid, then hell yeah I'd respect that. And leave it. I know I've said pretty much exactly what Sereno said he'd say as well - give the other person time and let them know there is a friendly ear available.

I'm trying to work out why I felt upset at the 'training regime' that Sereno talked of. I think it might be that if I honestly answered the first question with 'yes' then we're talking about one of my closest friends there. People I can name on one hand. And if I trust them, then that's IT. I trust them completely. So if they went and did something somewhere else without wanting to tell me what they were doing, why would that be a problem? I already trust them. I can't imagine why it'd be any of my business anyway. If they were doing something that directly affected me, but didn't want to tell me about it, I would find that weird and disquieting, but ultimately I TRUST them not to fuck around with me. If they broke that trust, then well, that's also it for the friendship. The end. And outside my close friends, well, I don't really give a toss what they do in their own time, it's not my business.

I don't know. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what's being referred to. But I think I'd find it hurtful if someone did that to me. It sounds like you're training a dog. Sit, boy, stay. Fetch. Roll over.

Sorry guys, I'm ranting. Been marking essays for the last couple of days straight, and it's driven me insane. I'm about ready to scratch my eyes out to escape it.

I agree with what you are saying, it does seem like some sort of dog training. But I really didn't mean it in a "controlling" way, rather, as a favor to ease possible anxiety out of not knowing what an SO is doing. Though I made it seem that it applies to everybody, I was applying that to those that just HAVE to know everything the person does to the point that it might be sort of paranoid. There's a difference between asking out of curiosity and asking out of some kind of anxiety or fear. That's why I thought about those steps, to help remove the possible anxiety or fear caused by not knowing. Maybe what I wrote is a very bad idea, but at the time it seemed to make sense. Yeah, I'm definitely not some kind of psychologist.

And Christy, you should have called the authorities, that was stealing.