Socionics type and giving emotional support

[Hermit Soul]

Which socionics types are good at giving emotional support? And which socionics types are really bad at giving emotional support (e.g, they ignore you when you tell them you're feeling down)?

[Exodus]

That would involve ethics, maybe Fe more so than Fi.

[Rebelondeck]

It would likely depend on who needs the emotional support. The better amateur support seems to come from people of similar personalities and backgrounds who have recovered from similar circumstances. Fe-types can be good at limited understandings what it may be like to walk in someone else's shoes but their cognitive processes don't give them the tools of a psychoanalyst......

a.k.a. I/O

[Hermit Soul]

It would likely depend on who needs the emotional support. The better amateur support seems to come from people of similar personalities and backgrounds who have recovered from similar circumstances. Fe-types can be good at limited understandings what it may be like to walk in someone else's shoes but their cognitive processes don't give them the tools of a psychoanalyst......

a.k.a. I/O

I find Fi base specificially ESI-Fi enneagram 4s quite good at giving emotional support. Haven't encountered anyone else in my life who is able to provide me with emotional support when I need it, I often find my feelings being brushed aside by people, except maybe ESI-Fi, I have a childhood friend who is this type and talking to her whenever I'm feeling down always makes me feel better.

[The Reality Denialist]

What do you need...?

ESE's can be quite cool to have everything hands on. At the same time some ESE's tend to have very limited capability to imagine. To a point that one called me empathetic due to Ni check (lol).

Then there are those who do imagination for someone else bit too much (preventive would be EII).

The one's to coach through insecurities are IEI's but again they do not get things readily done in practical settings.

ETC.

[Delilah]

IME I have found ILIs to be great emotional supporters. They offer the deconstructive tools that I need that help me analyse the situation. To me, analyzing the situation is important because otherwise I end up taken by my feelings/attitude. However, if you are asking about what type makes you feel better in the moment, I'd say someone like EII, ESE, etc maybe other types.

I have found ILE to not be good at offering emotional support. I have noticed that my ILE father tends to change the topic, for instance (though a few times i've seen him try to help!). Even LIEs are much better than ILE whereby LIE will say something to help you put things in perspective (something about how situations change very quickly etc)

SLI are not good at emotional support either ime. Maybe they just don't know what to say/do

[ruined]

ILE - my experience too, i don't feel understood at all. afaik ILEs don't really know what to do about other's emotional distress + aren't equipped to handle it. to me they look a bit helpless. sometimes they try to make it funny.

SLIs, yeah, agree. but while they aren't good with words i find they have a grounding presence

Funny you said that I've kind of made it a thing to not talk to an ILE about feelings cause in my experience yeah, they are all like this. Changing the topic or making jokes basically dismissing my feelings.

[sbbds]

I’ve been dating a woke ILE for a while now, and he seems to be as good as an IEI when it comes to helping me manage my emotions (as many of you know, that’s a big task that I need a LOT of help with lol). The main difference between him and an IEI is that he’s more excitable rather than calm (Ne > Ni), which can be grating on me.

On the other hand, he still says unintentionally hurtful things pretty often, in a way that took a lot of getting used to. All of the ILEs I’ve known have been like this, to varying degrees. That’s an observation that I can agree with. If you get to know IEIs and other types though, they are all the exact same in that regard. I’m very sensitive about small things people say or imply even unintentionally too, so whenever someone does something even slightly shitty I really hold onto it and it bothers me.

[The Reality Denialist]

ILE - my experience too, i don't feel understood at all. afaik ILEs don't really know what to do about other's emotional distress + aren't equipped to handle it. to me they look a bit helpless. sometimes they try to make it funny.

SLIs, yeah, agree. but while they aren't good with words i find they have a grounding presence

Yes, no resonance at all, usually. It kind of evades me why there is an actual need for it. I'm analyzing those things what people tell me. Everyday stuff especially is so foreign to me. I have no idea why <insert bunch of nihilism here>.

[FDG]

I think Fi and Ni doms are pretty good at this. (From the perspective of an extrovert)

[Exodus]

More specifically:

Fi emotional support = listening supportively, being a confidant and offering sympathy
Fe emotional support = helping to cheer the other person up

So, it depends on what you mean exactly. I don't see why Ni would be involved at all.

[golden]

More specifically:

Fi emotional support = listening supportively, being a confidant and offering sympathy
Fe emotional support = helping to cheer the other person up

So, it depends on what you mean exactly. I don't see why Ni would be involved at all.

Ni may not be involved, but I have found both IEI and ILI to be pretty good at emotional support. They both seem nonjudgmental and respect privacy, and they both have a broad point of view and are not ever evidently shocked by anything I have to say.

ILI will not try to defend anyone’s shitty behavior with platitudes, ime. And IEI are very accepting.

[Danali]

So clearly Fi is the stereotypical function of emotion support because if we boil it down, it's essentially just following etiquette and sympathy e.g. Friend A goes through a hard time so friend B provides sympathy e.g. "are you ok ? do you need anything? how can I help? if you need anything let me know." Why is this the case ? 1.) To share experiences, create familiarity and closeness 2.) It preserves the emotional harmony between two people and it doesn't create a ruckus. 3.) It creates moral firmness i.e people know how to behave. This is the stereotypical emotional support people talk about.

This is where I disagree with people who say Fe is more about emotional support. Fe is directly linked to emotional atmosphere, not support. In order to support someone, an emotion has to be present in the other person in the first place, Fe is concerned about inducing a certain atmosphere or completely changing a present one. So if friend A was going through a hard time, "Fe" friend B would induce a different emotion e.g "omg really? well at least ( some witty comment) you shouldn't feel like that, cheer up ... they have the ability to be sympathetic and but it isn't something they like to dwell on, they essentially dismiss it. They say things that impact peopl, therefore, you can hardly call it supporting, it would be changing and more time uplifitng.

As for types ILE and SLE would be terrible lol. EIE and ESE (more so ESE) are quite contradictory, they would dismiss it but try and change it "come on girl cheer up" or they would say nothing as Fi is their ignoring function.

[Hope]

I'm able to provide the same amount of emotional support that a potato.

edit.

Anyway, I think it also depends on what you want or understand by emotional support. I don't think you can equate a single element in emotional support. My ILE friend gave me emotional support a lot of times, just by listening to me, giving to me honest intelligent opinions and staying by my side in hard moments (even coming from another city because I was not feeling well emotionally). So it depends a lot in what each ppl need or understand by it. I think each type is able to provide support in one way or another (even if its not just through mere emotions, the effect could be good or even better depending on each type).

[sbbds]

^ Likewise I find SLIs tend to be pretty good listeners, and to be warm and friendly and easy to talk to (especially the women). A warm potato is all you need sometimes.

@Aki

[Singu]

More specifically:

Fi emotional support = listening supportively, being a confidant and offering sympathy
Fe emotional support = helping to cheer the other person up

So clearly Fi is the stereotypical function of emotion support because if we boil it down, it's essentially just following etiquette and sympathy e.g. Friend A goes through a hard time so friend B provides sympathy e.g. "are you ok ? do you need anything? how can I help? if you need anything let me know." Why is this the case ? 1.) To share experiences, create familiarity and closeness 2.) It preserves the emotional harmony between two people and it doesn't create a ruckus. 3.) It creates moral firmness i.e people know how to behave. This is the stereotypical emotional support people talk about.

This is where I disagree with people who say Fe is more about emotional support. Fe is directly linked to emotional atmosphere, not support. In order to support someone, an emotion has to be present in the other person in the first place, Fe is concerned about inducing a certain atmosphere or completely changing a present one. So if friend A was going through a hard time, "Fe" friend B would induce a different emotion e.g "omg really? well at least ( some witty comment) you shouldn't feel like that, cheer up ... they have the ability to be sympathetic and but it isn't something they like to dwell on, they essentially dismiss it. They say things that impact peopl, therefore, you can hardly call it supporting, it would be changing and more time uplifitng

It's seriously retarded that some people think that you can only do one but not the other. Usually people do both, obviously.

You'd have to be emotionally retarded to not be able to offer emotional support. Either that come through an in-born trait or through experience. Obviously you need to have both, but it can be improved if you want to.

[Exodus]

Ni may not be involved, but I have found both IEI and ILI to be pretty good at emotional support. They both seem nonjudgmental and respect privacy, and they both have a broad point of view and are not ever evidently shocked by anything I have to say.

ILI will not try to defend anyone’s shitty behavior with platitudes, ime. And IEI are very accepting.

Sure. An IEI has demonstrative Fi and an ILI has mobilizing Fi, and they both have low Se.

[Hope]

^ Likewise I find SLIs tend to be pretty good listeners, and to be warm and friendly and easy to talk to (especially the women). A warm potato is all you need sometimes.

@Aki

Awn

[Tonatiuh]

Ni may not be involved, but I have found both IEI and ILI to be pretty good at emotional support. They both seem nonjudgmental and respect privacy, and they both have a broad point of view and are not ever evidently shocked by anything I have to say.

This reminds me of a conversation between the two fictional characters Francis Dolarhyde and Reba McClane. Reba who is blind enjoys talking to Francis cuz she feels no sympathy from him. Francis responds that he feels no pity.

I've experienced similar situations when someone say or do something freaky, obviously designed to shock me. It's enjoyable to see their reactions when I dont give them what they would have expected.

[Desert Financial]

ESE,IEI, and dual are good for emotional support.

ILI good for logistical support. I knew an ILI who liked to advise about cost/benefit in such a way that you would practically get something for nothing. Will help you hide bodies. Good at keeping a cool head.

IEE is so-so and EII works on some level for emotional support. EIE gives good perspective.

[Skepsis]

I don't know about which type, and I don't know what giving emotional support really means. It really seems contingent on relations, context, availability, etc. Most do not give it unconditionally. But, I will try to listen to someone who needs to talk about emotional issues. Once they start, it feels rude to interrupt them or cut them off, but sometimes I will if it become a whining session or a pity party. Sometimes people need to whine a little and sometimes people need a little pity, but not constantly. Mostly, it bothers me very little to just listen, as long as they aren't trying to influence me in any particular manner, like give me a sob story and then ask for money. I don't like when people try to get emotionally close to me and then ask me for a favor. I will have very little patience the next time they want to "talk". It comes across as manipulative. However, if the same person ends up having the same emotional issues over and over again, doesn't resolve them or seek help, or doesn't take any advice I might offer to help them, then I start to lose the patience I am known for.

[Danali]

It's seriously retarded that some people think that you can only do one but not the other. Usually people do both, obviously.

You'd have to be emotionally retarded to not be able to offer emotional support. Either that come through an in-born trait or through experience. Obviously you need to have both, but it can be improved if you want to.

Obviously, we're talking about the PREFERENCE different types have. I even mentioned that.

[Tallmo]

Emotional support is problematic. Some Ethical types dont understand this. Instead they bombard you with their feelings and "emotional support". They want to help, but it's really all about them, instead of just for a moment putting themselves aside and really listen.

What I do like is when people are willing to take in another persons situation. That requires some kind of humility and broadening of the mind.

[The Reality Denialist]

It took lots of time until an EII noted my ability to tackle n+1 problems as important form of of support. Kind of funny, though.

[Singu]

Obviously, we're talking about the PREFERENCE different types have. I even mentioned that.

1. How is that preference determined?
2. Why can't you use that "preference" interchangeably depending on different circumstances, etc?
3. If the above preference is based on the other person, the appropriateness of the situation, etc, then can that really be called a "preference"? If so, then that preference would depend on what the person thinks of how he should behave based on his circumstances.
4. If a person is strong in "both" Fi and Fe, then wouldn't you see the best in both? Why would one necessarily prefer one over the other more? You might say it's a matter of consciousness and unconsciousness... but people can obviously consciously think of such things, because they're intelligent sentient beings.

[Sol]

F types with same valued F

[DirectorAbbie]

I agree with Sol.
Fe is not emotionally supportive to me. Fi is. An ILI is more emotionally supportive than an ESE. They may not be comforting, but at least they can understand rather than flying off in an entirely wrong direction and expecting me to follow.

[Danali]

1. How is that preference determined?
2. Why can't you use that "preference" interchangeably depending on different circumstances, etc?
3. If the above preference is based on the other person, the appropriateness of the situation, etc, then can that really be called a "preference"? If so, then that preference would depend on what the person thinks of how he should behave based on his circumstances.
4. If a person is strong in "both" Fi and Fe, then wouldn't you see the best in both? Why would one necessarily prefer one over the other more? You might say it's a matter of consciousness and unconsciousness... but people can obviously consciously think of such things, because they're intelligent sentient beings.

I feel like you have a grievance with model A hence you're deciding to be obtuse.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

People have told me that I'm good at accepting 'losers' nobody else wants. Me and another forum member on here have talked about starting a halfway house for weirdos and those on the fringes of society lol- but realistically actually doing it probably takes too much Te that I don't care for. I do have a big heart tho, whenever I sense somebody doesn't feel like they belong it bothers me.

I have felt emotionally supported mostly from other IEIs/SEEs, a few SLEs- and EIEs/ESEs/LIIs. And a couple ESIs/SEIs/IEEs as well. A few EIIs that I get along with sometimes *want* to emotionally support me, but I usually don't like how this feels for some reason. And most IEEs can be very kind to me, which I do appreciate but I always sense that they'd rather just play paintball with the deltas or whatever.