Originally Posted by
Braingel
My own response to my questionnaire—
Note: I have to go, so I will make a continuation post later on…
Types of trauma:
1) Primary emotional abuse and emotional neglect (parental)
2) Isolated incidences of physical abuse (parental, cousin, bullying physical assaults by peers)
3) Isolated sexual assault (mother’s friend, stranger)
4) Chronic inappropriate sexual boundary violated by father up to age 15 (“love biting”, but never my breasts or genital. But my nubile body, including buttocks and thighs)
5) School bullying primary
6) Medicated food by mother for a few months with Lexapro
7) Taken out of house in midst of night by youth transporters (age recently turnt 16)
8) chronic online harassment
9) chronic mental health stigma towards borderline personality disorder
10) Secondary emotional abuse from youth caregiver (facility called Cathedral Home for Children with staff)
11) Chronically ill sister
12) Primary and secondary (extended) family dysfunction: abuse, alcoholism, criminality at felon level, power imbalance dynamic, breech of boundaries, meth use (extended)
13) psychiatric inpatients
My self-types:
Western socionics: IEI
Classical Socionics: EII
MBTI: INFP
John Beebe: INFP
Oscar Ichazo 4, 479
Claudio Naranjo: Social 4
RH: social 4w5
modern tritype: 461
Big 5: RLUE/AI
Duration of trauma:
School bullying: kindergarten to eleventh grade, isolated incidences in 12th and I dropped out
Emotional abuse: around 16-17 years (so I tend say 15+ years, because I can’t remember the exact date)
Physical abuse: happened in isolated episodes throughout childhood, hard to pin a duration
Father’s inappropriate biting boundary: infancy to fifteen. I learnt from my mother, who normalized the behavior, that he did it to me as a baby, which wasn’t as weird admittedly, it’s weird it happened in my pubescent time
Online harassment: around 6 1/2 years
Regular stigma: around 3-4 years
More specific in types of abuse:
Emotional: Family— name calling (“worthless piece of shit”, “stupid girl”, “dumbass”, “mother fucker”, “bitch”, “cunt”), gaslighting (accusing me of having “hallucinated” my molest and physical abuse seconds after I was hit. I’ve never hallucinated in my life), terrorizing threats (speeding and threatening crash car, faking me out with remotes and standing out door and threatening harm me and standing in my face with an object, threatening break it on my head), favoritism with mother saying sister is favorite child and double standards (mother punishing me for my reactions to my sister’s bullying, including sexual harassment and threatening me with psych ward and police).. Blackmail, including out of reporting and guilt tripping with child protective services with my sister’s physical illnesses and how she needs medical care, when I was 17
Facility staff: name calling (“snot”, spoilt princess”), therapist broke my confidentiality to other girls like me walking naked in front of parents (my parents told the therapist that, and well.. I learnt do that because of father’s love biting and my mother also being naked sometimes), therapist threatening to put me in a psych ward if I cried and she knew how much psych wards scared myself.. Never feeling like I can tell her anything, taking me back from a public outing for crying in public and my make up away and yelling at me in car for crying.
Physical: Father— Hair pull, pull and shake me by hair (once), spankings with hands and wooden spoons, pinning me down, biting is physical/sexual, slapping.. Mother: hit with back brace of my sister’s, spankings, pinching and grabbing.. Wyatt (peer): isolated incidence of choking, Raquel’s (peer), whipping me with a belt and placing a beetle in my ear (in facility), Brittany (peer): chronically pinched my arms in girl’s locker room at Nadadore’s swim team.. For maybe 2 years, Kiani (peer) isolated incidence of slapping me, cousin Chelsea: isolated incidence of hitting me whilst she was drunk when I was 14 and she, 21
Other notable bullying: George plotted take my life at age 13 and got expelled from the catholic school and a juice record and restraining order, locked in a bathroom for the duration of summer camp break when I was 11, social media post when I was 12 that spread to other schools and those girls got in huge trouble.. Had my backpack taken numerous times whilst I was in a lunchline and not attending my backpack, and it was found in the drinking fountain drenched and soaked.. Age 7: girls tried blame me for a girl’s bloody nose that I didn’t do..