Plus Addressing Qaz’s Misinformation and also what he has done wrong, and giving my own voice on things he has claimed about me to others and why they’re wrong (Can’t edit heading)..
First of all, I will admit, this is primarily directed at @
qaz00, for his relentless harassment of me for 2 weeks or more, now… But this isn’t exclusive to himself, as there are others in the community who have done this, and it’s an issue in general. This was an issue with Sol, and it’s also been an issue with some Model G people.
To type a person without knowing the context of why they self-type the way they do, is for one thing, not a very good thing.. One should at least inquire of why they see their own self the way as they do… Second of all, whilst people don’t always accurately get their typing of self correctly, to completely dismiss someone’s life experiences, and go with your own narrative of said person is completely uncalled for. Especially when said narrative branches out of typology boundary and points at sensitive personal issues (psychiatric issues, traumatic background, etc).
I have Qaz here accusing of of exaggerating events in my life, being delusional, and of me being inaccurate of myself in that I am not a socially-competent person. Literally everything he has said about me is completely inaccurate.. Even his assumption that I had an intuitive childhood that made me “develop intuitive skills” is an inaccuracy, because I literally have been raised by all 4D Se family members, and was put into sensory means from as young as I can remember— 5K marathons, 7 other sports (in the summer I was forced Monday to Friday to 5-7 hours of volleyball every summer, and when I had confronted my parents on this, they even thought it was “good for me”:
https://youtu.be/UmpzCL2l_ow?si=wo8hTgJCkvL-inLe), I was put in cooking classes and needlework ones, and my grandmother had also roped me into this. In the YouTube video, my father admits I made a polymeric trainer cry, by how untrainable I was (basically he was in a typology sense, unknowingly saying I wasn’t trainable in competent Se)..
I didn’t have internet access regularly until I was one month short of 14, as I was sheltered from these things because of my autism. I didn’t receive my first iPhone until one month short of being 14, in spite of Apple products having been created when I was on elementary school.. (Qaz had claimed that I developed looking intuitive because of early internet exposure, when I didn’t even receive any of this to when development is at its zenith).
And whilst I do choose to be active on this forum, to dismiss everything I have said about myself, even when I’ve provided proof, as I’ve learnt to do this from how hideously gaslit and invalidated I’ve been in my life, by yes, hundreds of people, which Qaz accuses me of exaggerating… This is immensely triggering for myself..
There is zero regard for someone’s emotions and their background, when typing and the typing is often done out of bias, projection, hate, and/or ego. For Qaz, it appears be projection, bias and his own ego.. Since he doesn’t appear want be wrong, to a point he holds unto his narrative of me and denies anything that challenges his false SEE typing of myself.
Qaz continues to advertise his inaccurate view of me, as if it is hard truth, without my consent and disregarding the boundary I’ve put up, and he’s outright invalidated and gaslit myself:
This was said by Qaz in response to myself not accepting his SEe typing, which I was reactive to, as it doesn’t align well with my self-image, but it also invalidates directly, my own qualities that I want valued of myself and that I do indeed possess.
Now, when the whole Sol drama had resulted, he had spat this at myself— before any of this recent drama embarked—-
He had claimed that I had exaggerated the information on Sol, when he hasn’t even been around for months and had no context, and has assumed I exaggerate things and facts for quite a long time, which whilst I can be dramatic, I didn’t exaggerate things about Sol, nor have I about myself being bullied or socially incompetent, which Qaz has claimed:
There is a lot I have to correct, clarify and explain.. Maybe “have to” is a stretch, but this is how I feel as of now, at least, with my complex ptsd, I suppose an unconscious instinct I maladaptively developed from how much chronic invalidation, gaslighting and dismissal I have faced in my life, that has made me develop a belief of this way in times as this..
First of all, I would like to show one of my bullies Wyatt, in admitting I have faced bullying from himself and from masses:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...157ef6e4b81d6&
Wyatt had bullied me from when I was aged 10 to 13. He was a year older than myself, and he hadn’t apologized until he matured in a few years… He is one of only three bullies who has ever apologized to me. He choked me at age 11.
As you can see in the screen shot, he’d written this in 2018.. So you can know I wasn’t just going around trying gain “evidence” for this situation… I only share this since Qaz had assumed me in bad faith and characterized me as being dishonest in my experiences and of exaggerating them.
Wyatt had apologized for how “everyone treated me”.. He was only basing off of my time at El Morro elementary and Thurston Middle school.. I was placed in a total of twelve schools starting from age 5, and I was bullied in 11 of them. He was only apologizing for two schools.. Then he apologized for breaking his friendship with myself.. Do you know why he did this? Almost everyone else in the school was bullying me and he joined in out of peer pressure.. This was only pertaining to two schools, and he already had said that I was bullied by “everyone”. In those two schools, easily 60 people had bullied myself. That is already 2/11 schools where I faced bullying, and it’s already approximately 60 people (I of course can’t give an exact number).. And I was also bullied in residential treatment centers, 4/8 sports I was put into, two of my times in summer camps, and online.
My special Ed paperwork documenting early childhood bullying in elementary school
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...da6093cce3023&
Why on Earth have I faced as much bullying as I have in my life? There are numerous reasons and some are already addressed; I used to speak openly in metaphors and symbolical language that my peers count understand, and imaginary friends.. Also more advanced vocab for my age.. I have very awkward body language and people before the bra ordeal, would always walk up to me and ask if I have autism… I got bullied for being special Ed, and in elementary school, people would shout at me, “special ed, special special special Ed, special Ed!!!” I got bullied for having knots in my hair all the time, and in kindergarten, my mother had cut my hair boy’s length, as I pulled it out due to sensory issues and was getting bald patches.. I got made fun of looking like a boy and having a strawberry shortcake backpack..
Then of course comes the athletic and me not being able to wear a bra for a long time… I couldn’t wear a sports bra until almost 14 years old.. I went through endless volleyball, PE and running club with nothing supporting my breasts but a shirt beneath it, which wasn’t enough for the bouncing effect that came.
I often said socially inappropriate things, like, “Is your daughter the one with big buck teeth?” “I think I’ve head life!” “Why are you so fat?”
I picked my ears and my nose. I always dropped my binder and was always unorganized in class… And was always tripping and falling down the stairs due to awkward motor ability.. I span in circles on chairs… Wet mt pants until 13 and did a few times whilst at school… My fake tooth was chipped for a few years..
I was (and still am) developmentally delayed and not reaching milestones other than in my reading precocity of course and vocabulary one, which put me at playing with toys for much longer (as well as delaying things like sexual knowledge, and didn’t even know what rape, pimp, whore, etc was, when peers said these things or when I was called a whore), which also was a source of bullying, and not having a phone until later on… Had a flip phone for my first two 1/2 years in middle school. Putting me even more behind in social means, combined with not having any friends at all..
I was put in youth facilities starting at age 16, and one of them was for kids with disturbed background of any kind, and majority of those girls in there were gang and former juvie or there in placement of juvie kids. I got bullied by the majority of those girls, who took out their frustrations from their maltreatment of life unto me, being a vulnerable target who couldn’t stand up for myself, and being vulnerable because of autism and social ineptitude. I was in fact the only autistic girl there and who was placed in there via an IEP (special ed) plan, funding by my school district.
Writing this all out is even causing me now to cry, and it’s so fucking sick someone like Qaz doesn’t even believe this all..
By the time I reached 18, I was far from ready to be an adult and still am not quite read for this now… I was extremely behind from the childhood abuse I faced from my parents and extended family and bullying from my sister and my peers, with no opportunities for friendship, and very little social awareness and acuity.
Also, I forgot say, some of the kids who bullied me were special needs kids their own self, who tried get social status and not be made fun of by bullying me in place (Wyatt being one, another being a boy named Jake and another one named Griffin… I wonder if my gender had role in drawing more attention to myself in terms of awkwardness, social mistakes, and uncouth social behavior and appearances (boy’s hair, knotted hair, braless, awkward clothing, etc)…
But retorting to onwards eighteen..