When a Fe-valuer “objectifies” me and implies that I’m a bad person because of my affect or the coping mechanisms that I’ve developed from being ignored, rejected, and treated like I'm not worth a damn
What do you find especially triggering or hurtful?
When a Fe-valuer “objectifies” me and implies that I’m a bad person because of my affect or the coping mechanisms that I’ve developed from being ignored, rejected, and treated like I'm not worth a damn
Last edited by Averroes; 04-26-2024 at 03:01 AM.
what u said sounds like invalidation and gaslighting in a broader abstract sense. ive been trying to come up with exactly how to define that kind of thing, when someone thinks you're doing something for the wrong reasons thus they dont see u as "worthy" of life or being treated well, respect, love, a home or whatever, some ppl call it dehumanization but its a weird term bc in this way ppl can mistreat animals too and they are not humans.
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Almost everything sometimes I just don't say anything. Depends on the mood, it's even in an arrogant way like I just see myself as above most people and they're just wrong. Like when someone is being controlling obviously I get triggered. When they put on a mask I get triggered. When I know they could have handled things better I get triggered. Also with petty things like when they fall short in how I want to be treated down to them not matching or surpassing my expectations of how our connection should be I also get triggered. Interestingly there are select few that actually never trigger me or at least not that much. This is why I believe in love and it's kinda an easy way to figure out if you really love them too. A fave is a fave, when you really love them 100% obviously they'll never go wrong. Then I just subconsciously make sure to think of things that others do to trigger me. While for the people you love you can always just spin all of their corny aspects and think omg just perfect. When they make a mistake and do something bad, instead of being triggered you'll surely come up with reasons why they should be redeemed. Suddenly you're interested in their backstory. Biased as fuck. But tbf it's just a matter of making your heart bigger. When you hate someone, you love them harder. #lovepilled but honestly don't you just want people who are not SUPER DIFFICULT to love because I do not have infinite years in this world to try.
When people try to ascribe motives without bothering asking me directly what my motives are and why. Also, people forming a concrete opinion without getting input from all major parties too root out biases.
Also, victim blaming.
It has to do with darker motivations.
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Petty social games at work.
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idk. when A Fi valuer tries to play God?
somebody minimizing my pain, its wrong when I minimize but other people are allowed to do it to me. "You're just playing the victim!" when I tell a person what's really bothering me. LSE social workers, the kind that me and Scawwy/inumbra/Kara don't like, but I annoy them just as much I guess.
somebody hurting or molesting kids, or anybody else who doesn't deserve it or didn't do anything to ask for it and has no negative karma. And ppl who are all 'well they must h ave done SOMETHING or attracted it in their vibration SOMEHOW!' to avoid looking at the grim reality of it; but those people often just seem more like naive sheltered middle class idiots to me more than anything, so it more like half triggers me. Like I can have some pity for the Just World fallacy even though it's bullshit, cuz sometimes its just a coping mechanism people use to get through their day because thinking about the ethical rapeyness of it all can stop functioning too much.
there's a lot lol, I'm a pretty sensitive dude. Sometimes I just won't know it triggers me until it happens, LIFE IS DYNAMIC. Like one of my close male bisexual friends assholeishly saying I wasn't as hot as a girl. (not women in general, just another woman I wasn't even comparing myself with) I mean I would probably agree objectively she was hotter than me but why even point it out? It hurt my feelings because I respected this person and kinda liked them, if it was k0rpsy or something saying it I would just laugh and buy him a beer and be like 'Oh that's just k0rpsy' but somebody I consider a friend saying it is more hurtful. I don't like asshole str8 men but what's even worse than asshole str8 men is probably the kinda pinchy princess-y gay/bi. Me and another gay friend were talking about how gay or bi men can have this annoying 'pinchy' energy that bothers u. Some of the gay guys I know on chat rooms are pretty gross. They are insulting and evil, and will be like 'can I hook up with you. don't worry I'm on PreP' like that somehow magically makes everything better.
it can also be triggering to discover just how shallow ppl really are.
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