On my real type (EII)— Aushura, Beebe

[Braingel]

So, I had actually initially started off typing myself as an EII when I first got into socionics, and I was correct, but not for the model that I was under, which threw me off from accurately self-typing. I would be an EII by classical standard, with mental Fi, Ne, Ti and Se, and vital Ni, Si Te and Ni.


In world socionics society, it would be an impossibility for me to be an EII, because of how Fe ignoring in that model is about keeping to oneself and avoiding expression and dramatic display, and an EII actively seeks to be pragmatic, seeking out and stimulating by Te. An IEI in classical aushura is actually more Te cognizant, because it has Te in a mental perfection spot (base and polr), and an eii in classical may be more aligned with a WSS IEI, because of TiSe super ego making great aspirations towards of this and fitting “Quadra values”, and the Te wouldn’t be as “valued”, because it would be a vital, unconscious function.


I am highly cognizant of my emotional distance between objects, and I am gifted in perceiving underlying properties and interworkings of things, which would be Ne in this model (is more Ni in modern, another point towards EII being closer to the modern idea of IEI).. I fixate on the placement of things and their appearances, and have a rigid, immature view of these means. I thought that living in a prettier area could solve all my problems and blamed a lack of beauty and nature for my some of my unhappiness. In spite of my fixation on Se aesthetics, I cannot actually well-understand this element and try and replace it with the deeper workings of their physical properties and their soul qualities.. I blame my issues on TiSe things. It was actually a user named Capitan, who pointed out my TiSe super ego:https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...47d6beb3318c0&

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...265f77a577acf&

It is partially of why I have limited myself with my abuse situation. Once this was pointed, I rapidly realized a lot of things I had said of myself and of other things are quite TiSe super ego… I noticed a lot of patterns.. I had mistaken my Si as a super ego function, it fits well in a super ID type of fantasy..


Now as far as John Beebe, I would be an FiNe, INFP.


My Fe oppositional is why I have been mistyped by so many, as an EIE.


I had noticed that SCS and John Beebe overlap one another slightly, and I had with this shared to Lena..

But as far as the oppositional Fe, I would like to give unto a quotation:

One of the shadow archetypes of consciousness, the opposing personality, consists of a cluster of defenses of the self that are used to oppose, rather than one and work with others. The opposing personality fuels the defensive character styles— passive aggressive, paranoid, avoidant and histrionic— we sometimes see in our patients. Deployed internally, this consciousness can end up opposing one’s own best interests in perverse ways.

--John Beebe, Energies and Patterns in Psychological Type, page 58

My Fe works against my own self and others, it is how I react with, it is where my neurosis shoots up. The Beebe oppositional function (first phase of a shadow) is aligned very well with the conception of the ignoring:

The shadow is repressed because it is felt to be incomparable with a person’s moral values. It retains, and firm time to time expresses, feelings, motives, desires, and ambitions that the person has long decided are unworthy, because they do not accord with the individual’s idea of how people should feel, let alone behave. Since it is usually not owned as part of the person, the shadow has a great deal of autonomy, which allows it from time to time even to escape repression, so that it can act out the very striving that the ego has rejected as incomparable with its standards.

-p. 58

And even in Gulenko’s own school, the ignoring being a highly weakened, struggling area would befit of.

My oppositional Fe is identified with, from having been faced with immense trauma that has opposed my essence and made me work against my own self and others. It is likely a severely abused person in general would identify (as in relate or others would equate this person to such) more with their oppositional, which is defensive in nature and highly neurotic.

If you really examine myself, you will see all my criticisms and defensive behaviors are Fe, this is why people have typed me an EIE, and it is wrong they assume my defensive nature is hidden agenda Se and Fe base. It is almost like my Fe opposition feeds into my polr Se rotations and makes it more neurotic, and even a degree, psychotic.

Others misidentify this as Fe and Se, when it is pure unhealthy, neurotic Fe. When I had criticized and lashed out on Qaz, I had told him, “the community doesn’t need you”. It was me basing on collective standard in a delusional, opposing, attack full way.. I have exposed my abusive parents to the entire world to be seen— an Se+ super ego with my own placement and regard to the appearance/illusion my family gives, and exposing them to the entire world, globally to be seen (Fe-)… This has do with the TiSe super ego and oppositional/neurotically ignored Fe, that is suppressed in a healthful person, but in myself, has flared and shown face to the world in its scream— literal and metaphoric.

My Se is a perfection, evaluatory function— where I cannot keep track of my surreal sings, am poor at grasping the physical details and surface of objects, and yet aspire to be very good in this area. I want be a drawer and visual artist, to be able pair my drawings with poetry I write, and get it is notoriously difficult for me as to focus on all the pushcart details and keep them up with.. I aspire to have beautiful things and live beautifully, and yet can’t keep up with these things well, and it causes me pain and issue when I can’t meet up to these standards.

I am also very poorly aware of my own space, which is vital Si. I aspire to have my own “power” in my own placement of things, and yet I cannot achieve this— power to attain society aligning with my own FiNe ideals.. The FiNe are where the TiSe serve. (TiSe is concerned with power and is aware of those dynamics). It’s not that I want control over others or want power to compensate for deficits, but more to be seen (Se) and to bring about my own ideals for society (Fi in ego block).

My oppositional Fe can easily result in others to mistake me as an Fe ego or 4D Fe type.. Some peoples’ idea of Fe also overlaps Se, so very rarely, you may get a person who may try me 4D Se as well, but neither my Fe or Se maturely use. The Fe is discarded other than as an arsenal or unfulfilled ego wishes to try and ultimately bring about FiNe. Because others do not have a concept of full ego blocks. And the SCS view of ignoring isn’t quite complete, because it isn’t dealing with a direct neurotic person as does Beebe’s model. Most neurosis in SCS would be in super ego and suggestive..

My Fe is far from being an ego, as I am not consciously aware of my moods and emotions affecting others, and my image core in enneagram
more shows up in deliberately showing my gifts and abilities (Ne).

My Se also, I aspire to take action and imagine willpower, but never can initiate the will physically. Never in present reality, and put it off via Ne exploration of potential ideas and things that can come and help me with this, and of getting lost deep into the working of things. I have also tried be “scientific” (Se, observable, verified concrete proof), and yet always ended in my own ideas and interpretations of means, and also applying the science poorly in a way that doesn’t prove it in arguments.