How can I tell if I’m Gamma or Delta? (Or neither)
Hello, I’ve been having the hardest time in figuring out my type because I can relate to many of them ~ but then I’ll read a description and think some of it doesn’t apply so I drop it.
would love for input. If I can find my Quadra I can narrow it down to 8 types, I also believe I am a perceiver
my main concern is figuring out which IM elements I value as it will narrow the options down
for some reason esi, lsi, and sli stick out to me but only because those are types I am drawn to based on theory - tests having giving me ILI (first ever test) EII EIE and then LSI when I answered the most harshly. But is that my natural self or my harshest self? so many questions
Determing Fe or Fi value
group atmosphere is ok to me, but if I’m not in a good mood or I don’t like the people around, there’s sure as hell no way I’m faking the funk… fuck that. I can be polite and engage in niceties, absolutely, I can even come off gentle despite internally getting impatient that they are draining my energy - to which I think get momentarily pissed after I walk away but I cannot be outwardly aggressive? I only have strong boundaries when strangers try to approach me on some weird shit, I will be stern and give them a death stare but never violent, if I resort to violence which is hardly ever I’ll make sure to do serious damage
when people display emotional expression, if it’s funny then yeah I’ll laugh. But if it’s slapstick humor or them being goofy that’s an automatic no. I hate goofiness for some reason as I find it childish? I love to be serious, I do not like to watch comedies or rom coms or funny movies cause why would I want to laugh in my free time? 🥴 even then I can laugh easily at certain things, idk it’s confusing.
when I’m upset I usually notice I am feeling it and will immediately try to push it down or distract myself by going online and reading things or intellectuallizing my feelings - I only recently started to try and feel what I am feeling and not do anything about it but I am good at emotional suppression.
but even then, I still don’t value fe atmosphere because I don’t try to join in on the phone or jokes, I will silently observe. maybe I will try to be funny if the crowd is more serious and I want to inspire some witty or ironic humor, but I’m no jester
when people are emotional to me I try to override that bs and just focus on solutions or not really give them the time. It’s too much. Learn to self sooth and self regulate, you do not need to trauma dump, talk about your feelings in a conscious, self aware manner, understand them. Don’t just express them???? (This is so ass backward but it’s how my brain works at the moment) - I try to serious-slide the environment. “Lets focus” kind of thing
but at the same time I am empathic which is probably why I avoid feelings in the first place, I have good mirror nuerons even if I don’t want to act on them - if someone needs to vent I do reluctantly listen and give solutions.
but even if someone opens up to me and I to them, that does not mean we are now close…. No. Just means in this interaction we had a moment but please do not mistake it for psychological closeness (this gets me into trouble a lot) people will assume I am closer to them then I really am
te vs tI
no clue, I think I value both. if someone is talking too much about trivial matters I’ll start to zone out or I’ll wish they would speak faster ~ sometimes I am in favor of understanding processes so I will ask a lot of questions until I gather enough info I need. (Te?) but I like to categorize things too, when I meet people I will ask their signs, numerology, and birth dates so I can get a gist of them or vibe
I can be efficient with certain tasks but other tasks I’ll do over and over until I am satisfied with how it came out, especially with cleaning my room or at my job, though not sure if I’m meticulous cause I can still miss something and then feel guilt or annoyed that I NEED to redo it. sometimes I forego the rules but I’ll be a tiny bit guilty about it like in nyc, if I do t pay the subway fare I might feel a little weird and hope I don’t caught but I won’t steal ever, when I was younger in HS I used to, until I got caught.
I love to write and I love to read good writing. I like elegant style writing or more olde english or any style with some oddities in speech that aren’t modern. slang and shit really irks me but when I speak the way I’m most inclined to, people think I’m being pretentious but I just feel the most comfortable that way.. I love words and their meanings
I write about my feelings or things I need to actualise and do, I’ll give myself pep talks through writing and verbally, so I do love to process things, it’s fun. I love to analyze, I analyze people’s behaviors a bunch, but it’s due to skepticism and mistrust, so I’m not really trying to help them despite just noting what I see
I used to think fiction was too frivolous, but now I realize the immense benefit from reading fiction, what it does for the brain and our empathy, so I read fiction now and get bored with self help or non fiction ~ but if I need to learn something related to self improvement, the nervous system, holistic health, I’ll suck it up for a while
se vs si
I get aggressive if I’m agitated, if I’m clearly not in the mood and someone is talking to me I’ll be curt and short. Later on maybe I’ll feel self conscious about it and try to re-engage with them to make sure their mood wasn’t affected. If their mood was affected and they be cunty back then I’ll get curt and rude again. this doesn’t happen often but it can
I used to be very active and played 3 sports until ACL/miniscus injuries, even then a few years later I biked 12 miles a day for two summers because of work - it was fun I enjoyed it. I traveled way more as well
I used to be extremely outgoing, if I liked someone I would try to get with them or contact them incessantly (cringe) or just TAKE action because I wanted to. Life circumstances have traumatized me into no longer being that way despite the urges or desires to do so ~ so is this Se valuing? Like in HS I would be so flirtatious, even a few years ago I used to flirt with people regularly men and women, who cares, and I def had a lot of charisma and loved for my sensuality to show in very subtle ways… I’m not like that anymore and idk why. Maybe life just happens but I know it’s very much alive within me, suppressed
if I sleep in I will try to at least go outside and do something, even if it’s walk to B&N and just sit there and read or go grocery shopping, I think I like to cosplay productivity cause when I actually have to do important shit I’ll procrastinate for a second and then tell myself to focus and go do it so then I do. I used to have bad executive function issues that somehow went away ~ I can still sleep in or assume being “relaxed” but mental stimulation would absolutely be required then, like incessantly reading articles or just searching info online to satisfy my curiosity. I also can get very very obsessive and want to act on it without thinking, which I may regret later but I’m not as impulsive any more
have trouble sleeping or feeling rested or relaxed cause my mind is still on go go go I have to force myself to sleep. even during massages I am thinking about how the massage is going, does it feel good, what else can they massage to make it feel better efc
I also want to be more stern and aggressive then I first appear, cause then people get confused when I start to get demanding or cold as time goes on (I think this is positivist dichotomy)
Ne v ni
I have no idea ~ I can imagine scenarios but it’ll either be based on reality and me recalling what happened in the past and how I feel about it or I’ll imagine my crush or whatever interacting with me in different contexts so I can get a sense of if I can envision a future with them. I really only daydream about my crushes watching me in certain scenarios (mainly dancing and them admiring how I dance lmao) I don’t tend to daydream about much else, cause Idc - I like to be grounded. So much so that I can’t be on Twitter, SM, or even tik tok for long because that’s way too much information of other people’s thoughts and bs that it will take over my mind. And I can only decompress when my mind is able to, so I like silence. I haven’t listened to music in about two weeks and can go months without it
for possibilities of situations I can see the possibilities only if it’s a real situation and I am trying to figure out which is most likely to happen, not about all the possibilities to happen, so I tend to be pessimistic I guess…. I can’t follow wishful thinking like my mom does. For instance she will say things like if I win the lottery, we can do this this and this etc and in my head it’s like… well you don’t have that money and you need money now. get real and look for a job, but I don’t say these things - I am more internally harsh than outward but in my writing my “logical” and straightforward thinking really shows.. damn this prob isn’t even ne or ni at all but yeah
Thank you to all who take the time to read this! kisses
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