What the SEE girl meant is that you are a freely available, attractive and smart loyal sex toy who also earns money.Originally Posted by Mairon
I see you are also from Italy. If I have to be honest, I think Italy is pretty good for NT males, i never experienced as much female attention (usually yeah from gamma SF) as I had in Italy. I don't know the reason.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I noticed that in north Italy what you said applies very well. But, in the south (at least in Puglia) the situation is the opposite. But, I admit I was very unlucky. Small towns there are very different from eachother. I was considered very poorly there, but in the north almost every girl finds me interesting. It's very weird...
I'm from Veneto and I was always nerdy, but I definitely had my share of ESI and SLE women who were interested (whereas I couldn't care less - of course, otherwise they wouldn't have been interested). I lucked out with my wife, for me it was important to have someone who is intellectually stimulating, loyal and attractive.
The worst I've seen was this ESI girl, actually quite okay, she had a boyfriend (now husband), once I stepped out on the university corridor she was holding hands with this guy and she instantly slapped his hand like...he's not really my boyfriend...bah...these latinfemales...then with her eyes she said...shit he saw that I slapped him...and did an 180 turn. Lol.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Yeah ESIs are maybe the weirdest kind of girl. They look almost obsessed with people they like (Boyfriend etc.), but at the same time they want to feel they could obtain the attention of other people too. Ironically, what I said months ago about ESIs has been a bit disrupted by my recent experiences. Not saying they are not loyal, but I don't like the fact that a lot of ESI girls already "happily" engaged with their beloved partner still try to catch my attention because I look like the only one guy who doesn't consider just their beauty. It's like they constantly need proofs of their beauty and, consequentially, of their power and position (Se creative and Si demonstrative).
The worst I've seen was this ESI girl, actually quite okay, she had a boyfriend (now husband), once I stepped out on the university corridor she was holding hands with this guy and she instantly slapped his hand like...he's not really my boyfriend...bah...these latin
I experienced the opposite with all SEIs girls I know. If they are already engaged, they are more clearly uninterested in other guys (at least, that's what I see), or they hide it. Maybe they could be curious, but don't act too much to receive some kind of feedback.
I'm sure that Si lead are way more confident in their physical beauty or just chills, while for ESIs their demonstrative is like a social expectation for them: they need feedback to understand if they are appealing, and this is also connected to their creative Se, who makes them act to prove it (even with stupid methods), as I said before.
Agree. Building a relation made on some theoretical assumptions that "it will definately work" creates weak fundaments. Each relation should arise and exist naturally, aligned with our internal values. Speaking more bluntly - from heart, not your mind. After all, it is possible that you mistyped your potential partner, or even yourself. Socionics type is not a blood group to exam it easily by test.
Well, I think you should think twice about being too enthusiastic about a dual prospect. SEEs have a tendency to take as long as they can take. Are they lovely? Sometimes. But hopefully they love you enough and they recognize you quickly as someone they have a kinship with because they can do that to you and to a lot of people. If they are not plain opportunists, remember that they are not exactly cool-headed. They are impatient. They might even get angry about the people around you. And then they'll be friends. And then they'll get angry again. Since you type as an ILI most likely you would survive, you can completely understand why they're acting a certain way and it would basically just be games to you plus it's okay because their temperament would just increase their lovability and authenticity in the eyes of people but do you really want that kind of bother? To be fair, a friend is a friend, relationships have weight to them, they understand what loyalty means (good and bad way). Maybe sometimes you don't also care about some bullshit your intuitive friends care about and think they're boring you so you need something real, like me being pulled to a lingerie store to check everything at the mannequins. Even the hobbies, jesus fuck, we have nothing in common.
I have a friend that's an ILI. SEE and ILI Duality... can't really see it happen. Some bookish, naive, and passive nerd + a dirty, vulgar, and selfish hoe. Sounds like some kind of anime romance that could never happen in real life. I think most ILIs get with ST women since they're less of a bad influence.
Here is an example of an ILI-SEE duality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsSNCmGUK2I
Remember, the role of the ILI is to stay off the public stage, and to warn the SEE about the future (often monetary) consequences of present actions, and the role of the SEE is to act on that public stage, without deep thinking.
I know of two female SEEs off the top of my head. They are both incredibly, intimately sexy (to you, and to him, and to that guy over there), and are really out there, in the sense that they are impossible to ignore in public, and they both have really kind hearts, which is obvious when they give you a coupon for McDs after cleaning out your wallet.
I also know a bunch of ILIs, and the ones who aren't married to ESIs dream of a large-breasted woman who pins them to the bed with her eyes, like a lepidopterist pins a butterfly in his collection.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-07-2024 at 01:25 AM.
I think I have some dual magical powers because they always seem to like my personality. I met the singer of my favorite band, who is my dual, and it felt like I knew him. It was the weirdest thing because I know I’ve never met him, but it really felt like I was meeting up with someone familiar. It was so easy to talk to him and he thought I was funny. The SEE at work also thinks I’m funny and says I’m really great for some reason. I don’t understand because I don’t do anything extraordinary so it must be some weird duality thing. The owner of the piercing place I go to is SEE, and she’s giving me free jewelry and trusted me to put together a jewelry order for the store. So duality is very real for me and far and away unlike any other relationship. Everyone else doesn’t like me at all. Duals like me way more than I’d expect and it’s so good for my confidence. I feel like I can talk to any SEE and be myself because it’s pretty much guaranteed they will like me.
On the Sociotype tests I've taken, I always test as an LIE, but with a strong SEE component. This might be why I have a lot of ILI friends, and why I dated a female ILI for a while. She was smart, and weird, and weirdly hot. I didn't want to marry her, but I did find her fascinating. I really, really liked the way her mind worked.
As for my male ILI acquaintances, they fall into two categories. There are those who don't trust people at all, much to their disadvantage, and these guys are understandable but not that great to be around. Then there are those who have been my good friends for many years, and they are very easy for me to hang out with. It is the latter guys who are funny. I don't think that they intend to be funny, but their viewpoints and the ways they say things are absolutely hilarious sometimes. They can be deadpan saying the most ordinary-sounding things, but their underlying sarcasm and biting criticism is just something that I find to be really funny.
A perfect example of this sarcasm is shown in the video that I linked above. "Oh. Problem solved. I'll just become an astronaut." I laughed and laughed at this, because it is sooooooo ILI.
You just know that inside this guy's head, he's making a list of targets for his sniper rifle.
Stories like this are really heart-warming to me. It means that there is a chance for ILI men to lose their virginity without having to invent technology to clone themselves.
ST women tend to be far too controlling and unimaginative on all critical fronts to sustain our interest for long unless they themselves put in a great deal of effort to stop being such droll moral busybodies thumping their preferred sacred text upon our metaphorical skulls with all the eagerness of a blood crazed chimpanzee.
Like I've said elsewhere, duality and type relations aren't the be all and end all. Conflictors/all negative pairings can form a happy marriage that both find quite fulfilling, but it'll take much more effort from them both than if they were duals/had positive pairings. Open Communication and Secure Attachment (and the former is required to ever hope of developing the later if you don't already have it) are the real deciding factors. An SEE and an ILI can meet and hit it off quite well at first, but if they don't clearly and openly communicate each other's needs it'll still blow up spectacularly.
I'm sorry that your mother hurt you.
He has a point.
Blow up how so?
Amber Heard's methods of destruction come to mind, might be worth Googling her actually.
I had a relationship with a SEE once, unknowingly at the time. She was over-the-top energetic, emotional, thrill-seeking and sex-oriented. Initially, I found her really impressive, mind-blowing actually, I don't think I had ever known anyone before her who was so naturally intense and extreme, but unfortunately we didn't share many serious common topics or interests, and as the relationship progressed, this had become more and more of a problem until this sense of lacking became unbearable and the relationship ended in a nasty break-up.
I'll put it to you in a way that really resonated with me. This is the "Good Partner Bad Partner" example that clicked for me and convinced me that Attachment Theory was legit.
Close your eyes. Imagine the perfect partner. I mean absolutely perfect. 10 out of 10. Your Aphrodite/Adonis/etc. They tell you exactly what they want and expect from you up front day one. Not in a demanding way, but in a calm and simple way. When they need something from you they ask for it the instant they need it. Even if you cannot meet that need right then and there they still tell you about it and don't hold that against you. You know the exact boundaries of your relationship and you know exactly what it will take to make them happy as surely as you know that 2+2=4.
When you do something they don't like they tell you. They don't insult you or anything, but they do say "Hey I really didn't like it when you did X. Next time could you do Y instead?" They don't wait until you've done the bad thing several times to tell you this. They speak up on the first instance. This means the problem doesn't have time to fester and grow. It gets fixed quickly and early before anyone loses face or forms negative habits.
Likewise, when you do something positive they praise you for it and tell you the reasons why they liked it so much. This helps you understand how they think and thus, replicate it in the future. In short, they tell you directly how to make them happy and they aren't lying or hiding anything.
Now ask yourself these questions:
"Do you believe this partner trusts you?"
"If you are meeting their needs consistently, would you feel confident in yourself as a good partner?"
"With them telling you what they do and don't like right away, would you feel secure in a marriage like this?"
I'd wager the answer to be "Yes" on all fronts. I know I did.
Now for the dark side that hit me like a ton of bricks because damnit I was this person until I heard this:
Close your eyes again. Imagine you are with the worst partner. Attractive as all heck in most every manner you can imagine but, well, it always starts out so well.
This partner does not tell you what they need or want in any clear way. They drop little hints yeah, but they are transmitted in an encryption known only to them and they will never share even the smallest bits of that cypher with you. You do your best to meet their needs regardless, but they still get angry with you for not essentially "reading their minds" (A thing not even the mostdominant could ever hope to achieve BTW and that's the function most associated with gifts of "Prophecy" for the uninitiated).
The terrible partner never tells you when you do something they dislike. Not right away of course. The resentment and hatred can and does build up until that dreaded "Bad Day" when they just go OFF on you and anyone else unfortunate enough to be within the blast radius. They play the victim card for all it's worth. "Woe is me for being with such a terrible partner" even if said partner is literally doing everything for them short of placing themselves upon a Cross to prove their devotion.
And now for the most damning part: Whenever you actually do something they like they never tell you. Not really. A "Thank You" is about all you'd ever get if you're lucky because a "gift" for these people can and often does garner contradictory responses. Flowers on a birthday one year may get you unalloyed Joy while the next it gets you utter indifference. Thus, you never really know what makes them happy and loved or not.
Now ask yourself these questions:
"Do you believe this partner trusts you?"
"If you never know what their needs are but are consistently told you fail to meet them would you feel confident in yourself as a good partner?"
Now for the sledgehammer that served as my "wake-up" call. Whenever you didn't share your needs with the other person. Every time you sent out a hidden signal that was obvious as the sun to you without considering the very real possibility that they would miss it. Every time you were to afraid of losing what you had with the other person that you dared not speak about your needs in relation to them/etc. you were the worst partner.
Be the good partner folks. That most are not is what I'm getting at.
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