i wanna know. she's a childhood friend
Does anyone know why my ESTp crush blocks me online then acts nice in person?
i wanna know. she's a childhood friend
ask her
Fi PoLR -> ime have a weakness when it comes to setting relational boundaries. The blocking might be her way of trying to do it
I would generally give someone space if they have blocked me, even if they are ostensibly "nice"
*cringe* is to ask random people about what they can't know, instead of a human with who you "act nice in person"Originally Posted by Aster
It's possibly to speculate, that "crush" has people who may see her Internet communications and she does not want them to see that talking. Does not want to talk by Internet on themes which are possible with "crush". Or changed the intention to talk. Or other reasons among many of possible.
Also, I doubt SLE would not say reasons for blocking. It's more introverted behavior to hide without evident reason or to act without an explanation.
Well, this probably has to do with something else than just the relationship itself.
Since I do not now what is going on it is purely a guessing game.
Just some blasts from the past were your comments about some sensitive topics that made some forum members very upset. If this hits close to that sort of action it can be very understandable. That is your online input could make the person avoid you in that space. If I recall correctly you have autism or aspergers?
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
I didnt say anything upsetting, I literally just praised her for having a certain major and asked about what kind of work she was doing in that field, and BLOCK
Yes, this complicated because it may go beyond your interaction. It might be about general online activity. Like presence in some place. Anyway, I have seen weird blocks. Someone blocked people based on their types. People have their own triggers. Mostly Fi valuers have played games on online friendship statuses which is weird. People see diffeent meanings behind blocking and so on.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
^
idiotic thread tbh. How should we know
You're assuming socionics can predict all the little vagaries of human behaviour. It can't.
I've done that. Mostly because I thought that was the only way I would not have any contacts which would lead to suffering on my part
Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!
Sometimes it can be dictated by work. At least in some way. Politics and cancel due to a wrong affiliation.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
yer a grouch, but touché lol
this is true. I’ve had people add me on here, only to remove me later, but still act ‘nice’. Most of these people type themselves ‘Fi’. I found this really bizarre. I only add people, I don’t remove them for any reason, even if we quarrel or they say something I don’t agree with lol
Last edited by Aster; 11-03-2023 at 01:10 PM.
I can maybe think of reasons such as they have unpopular opinions that they don't want you hearing, you could be annoying as fuck, or they just don't want you being all up in their business.
Either way, your life doesn't revolve around her, don't overthink it.
@Misfit
I find a lot of girls college-aged have trouble setting boundaries at this point; a lot of my girl friends tell me they dislike so-and-so, but then in person they can't help but to act nice and courteous rather than cool and firm, and then wonder why this person "can't get the hint"...
SLEs in particular extra-extra don't want to deal with relational/Fi things. fSLEs have been told by society that their Fi PoLR is bad, though, so unlike a male, they won't be outright blunt/cruel/mean, unless it's maybe a particularly masculine fSLE. So they opt for the universal "be nice to the face" route when things are in an uncomfortable Fi domain.
The more "cruel" ones can be the sort to rant about the person to their friends, not because they actually care, but just because it's spicy Fe drama, and afterwards still act nice to your face. They can also umbrella-tent men into categories like "weird" or "creepy" and are not typically romantic or sentimental about childhood friendships or such.
Conclusion: do not ask her (or one of her friends)
Just "asking" an SLE and getting a serious response works, i think, if there's some/all of these factors: first they value the relationship, second they trust you, third you help take the Fi weight off (e.g. be Fi demo)
In general, just "asking" a female something, when you're a male, is a tricky situation, if the both of of you aren't close.
True, I downright cut people off when they start really irritating me repetitively, failing to do their part, etc.
I don't really rant any of my friends, idk them much, unless it's around my dad(a lot), I just spew everything while I ask for help on what boundaries I should set, if I was too blunt, etc.
He tells me to be nice to face, my interpretation of that is a resting bitch face. Being forcefully kind to some prick feels like self-castration.
But this stuff doesn't happen often, and I rather share what I think about someone to their face. I dislike not knowing if someone hates me or likes me because they're possibly 2 faced, and I don't want to come off as extra autistic by constantly asking, at the very least I can communicate what is really going on so that the other person doesn't mistake me for someone that actually gives 2 shits about them.
To deal with this is to simply not be so attached to people, they come and go, hurting one person's feelings, or a handful isn't the end of my life.
Honesty maybe harsh, but it's much less cruel than unintentionally baiting someone into thinking you like them. Then they constantly annoy you by constantly pursuing you, and then they end up making a fool of themselves.
Last edited by Muira; 11-03-2023 at 06:42 PM.
I've already moved on. I think I'm better off with an ENTj I know.
Last edited by Misfit; 11-04-2023 at 07:34 PM.
This whole described scenario is just gross and icky to me.
I'd feel so powerless and emasculated tbh. I wouldn't feel like I could affect such a person, unless I fully relied on a kind of "play face" aka a lot of Fe without expectations.
Eventually I'd feel sad and useless under these terms, especially if they never evolved beyond this.
edit: guess I'm not beta! haha!
Last edited by Finaplex; 11-04-2023 at 09:25 PM.
guy goes to swimming pool, sees people swimming. "You are all IDIOTS", he shouts.
It’s not the swimming that bothers me so much as the bloke in manacles attempting to jump off the diving board.
This thread requests that internet randoms furnish an explanation for some anonymous woman's behaviour based on some anonymous man's opinion she's 'SLE type'. Do you realise how much more information we'd need to even hazard a guess? Whereas he knows her personally, still speaks to her, and might know some of her friends as well. Here's how much information he's provided:
Anyway I'd never say 'you're all idiots'. What I actually said is 'idiotic thread' ...which it obviously is.Does anyone know why my ESTp crush blocks me online then acts nice in person?
i wanna know. she's a childhood friend
Lower you expectations and it helps. I'll try and take my own advice as well.
Admittedly my description was likely biased from the most recent fSLE I've somewhat befriended, and she's quite more on the immature side. Only a freshman, and she'll definitely mature beyond this, but for the moment i half like her half am disgusted. Also, she's a 7w6 So/Sx, which I believe is more atypical. SLEs are more often 8's and not nearly as attention-seeking/judgy (i think). Most SLEs are supremely nonjudgmental, really. Female + So + 7 is a super judgy combo.
She's also full of those gross "feminist" ideas that women don't need men yada yada. That might be why you would feel quite emasculated. I think that perhaps a lot of higher Te/Se younger girls/women these days frequenting more liberal circles buy into those ideas much more readily, because they can behave more stereotypically "masculine". It's a SHAME.
Side note. Not to be pessimistic but I think SLE-IEI dynamic is falling out of favor in society. When the genders are traditional, it would seem that it's "misogynistic". When the genders are reversed.. well I think it would take a rather mature (SX) SLE to realize that what she might want is an IEI sort of man.
SLEs are very much blueprinted by what they've previously known. And they mature slower. If they've been exposed to IEIs and Ni in their childhood, that is a huge factor.
When I think of fSLE's I kind of have this image of laughter with a bit of nervousness behind it. I think behind the Fe face to me they feel a bit vulnerable and deep down they are not all that nasty (ethical types are) because they are still logically ruled. Like in Hsiao's last paragraph in her reply to me, their "cruelty" is oftentimes quite kind.
Really its okay what you wrote generally, as I'm not even saying its wrong. Its just, makes me react to such a person in my mind's eye: I know people like this are out there, I'm not naive, I have met them. I just have to relate to this to myself, in an almost "trying to be candid" so as to get the most out of this as a learning exercise. I think "how would I feel, and how would I behave, towards the person described". Its such a multi-faceted answer, and it might depend on the situation and its requirements. Ultimately, at 36, I would find a person like this to be needlessly insincere, shallow, hallow, and lacking in the type of authenticity I would need to have around me if I was to become close to such a person. The would be authentic, "for them", and I think this speaks to the boundary lines that socionics can show and draw. I think if you let it.
For that person, it would be perfectly normal to laugh and tease someone behind their back, and maybe their motivations would be healthy and normal, for them, although I would also question even that, as I find that sort of behaviour to be shallow, and I always have, even as a kid.
Ultimately it speaks to something socionics related: I don't think I could handle a closeness with a SLE of that nature. Was it my upbringing? My make-up? I would just think it mean, and bullying. I wouldn't even think it protects a kind of insecurity, especially if I knew them more to rule this out. I'd look to the future, I'd see a person like this in terms of how possible it would be for them to see beyond their own viewpoint. Some chasms are to wide to cross.
I see what you mean, but that's not really what I meant. I think I mean to say that a shallow person like this would make it difficult for me to express the chivilarious parts of myself, as I would feel that they would fall on deaf ears. It would be like ice skating on ice with roller blades. I guess its possible but why bother?She's also full of those gross "feminist" ideas that women don't need men yada yada. That might be why you would feel quite emasculated.
I think this is another debate because I'm looking at this person from an individual standpoint minus the gender political angle.I think that perhaps a lot of higher Te/Se younger girls/women these days frequenting more liberal circles buy into those ideas much more readily, because they can behave more stereotypically "masculine". It's a SHAME.
Yes.Side note. Not to be pessimistic but I think SLE-IEI dynamic is falling out of favor in society. When the genders are traditional, it would seem that it's "misogynistic".
I had a similar discussion about this topic with a four mite SLE female who is no longer here. I guess a part of some of her inter-peronsal struggles involved IEI men who couldn't;t over come their own insecurities about needing to be "masculine", as they tried to overcome their Te polr and be successful, competent, in a worldly way, ect, without having their fragile male ego affected. It's hard being a sensitive person and maybe that is triggered by a more confident female SLE. The pop signer PINK, is a female SLE, for example.When the genders are reversed.. well I think it would take a rather mature (SX) SLE to realize that what she might want is an IEI sort of man.
Mmhm, it takes until about 35-45 for them to start getting it, especially if they weren't raised properly, or with the right exposure to Ni and GOOD Fe.SLEs are very much blueprinted by what they've previously known. And they mature slower.
If they've been exposed to IEIs and Ni in their childhood, that is a huge factor.I am interested in hearing more.When I think of fSLE's I kind of have this image of laughter with a bit of nervousness behind it. I think behind the Fe face to me they feel a bit vulnerable and deep down they are not all that nasty (ethical types are) because they are still logically ruled. Like in Hsiao's last paragraph in her reply to me, their "cruelty" is oftentimes quite kind.
I dont even understand why its bad. Im a male and me and my friends constantly do this at work, with new people, with some girls we flirt.
I doubt it has got anything to do with Fe or beta.
The OP is an autistic retard who is associated with terrorist group so obviously he gets blocked .
Just shallow is all :/ (shallow, TO ME, maybe not for you and that's fine and that's why its called socionics.)
I'm taking about the post, NOT the OP.
@Finaplex I will get back to you later, but in the meantime, what is your self-type?
In a friendly and non-accusatory tone *[name]!!!! Why did you block me! What the hell, I thought we are friendly towards each other!!!!!*
Text or face-to-face this would help instead of overthinking imo. If you really have strong feelings enough to have a crush and post her here you can afford to let ur heart out
But oh well u moved on already! lol
That's what I thought at first, a lotta men try to over-intellectualize for why women avoid them like they're the plague, their assumptions are usually wrong because of their skewed fucked up perception.
Maybe he could be some lizard lookin incel prototype, scaring her into acting like a 2 faced cunt in fear she'll deal with another clinically retarded "nice guy."
Or maybe she might just be a cunt, and it's not the guy's problem.
Just universally, if someone blocks you, you block them back and cut all direct connections with them and even tell them to fuck off when they speak to you directly. Once a rope is cut in half, it's useless, it's smarter to buy a new one than try to fix it, why can't that apply to relationships? Why do people have a hard time disconnecting with people again?
I'm probably better off marrying (in a matchmaking marriage) some modestly (in accordance with islam) dressed and behaving "untouched rose" who has a simple job while she places a priority on homemaking, who isn't as educated (associate's degree max), who likes me for me. But I'll have to improve my personality, because at this point I'm not going to be making much money. I need to be more religious. And I think one female muslim youtuber would describe me as a "double standard douche" EDIT: I'll have to stop chatting up the opposite sex, it's not modest.
why though
because I only have an associate's degree, and every attempt at getting an education further has failed. need to be at the same wavelength. I hear based on anecdote that when men aren't as educated as their partners in Muslim couples (or at least turkish couples, muslim or otherwise) the women tend to hold it over their s/o's heads. Not so much the other way around, but I think it happened to this one guys parents. ("I know better, I went to school, what do you know????")
Last edited by Misfit; 11-07-2023 at 11:33 PM.
if you know the phone number, download a textnow app for a random number and prank call the fuck out of her
Maybe she isn't doing any kind of work in her field, and she finds herself feeling like a loser for not being able to find work in her field, so she decides to block you to avoid these discussions?
If I were in your situation, I'll just avoid discussing with her about the topic of work in future.
Well if she's acting like a weirdo, and can't be honest about it? Why should he even bother with her? It's her problem, not his.Maybe she isn't doing any kind of work in her field, and she finds herself feeling like a loser for not being able to find work in her field, so she decides to block you to avoid these discussions?
If I were in your situation, I'll just avoid discussing with her about the topic of work in future.
Looks like you aren't a little bitch after all, and I know it's haram to be vulgar in language lmao.
But again, either converting a woman into Islam, or meeting a genuinely decent Muslim woman wouldn't hurt. I've known Muslim woman who work hard/have their PhDs and also respect their husbands, and one o them even takes care of their husbands that became disabled alongside children. Generally women should be allowed to have degrees, etc, but the home making is a priority, and they shouldn't work long hours if they have a competent provider + children.
That type of girl is rare in western countries today, but that doesn't mean you should compromise like 80% of your standards.
She was probably not really a ESTp if she isn't blunt with you, maybe LSI, or some other type as it's weird to see a SLE beat around the bush and not say stuff directly.
Just matchmakers seem too artificial and too expensive, if not being arranged to marry someone who is a cousin or so. It's better to try to go onto Muslim forums that don't really center around dating, because those dating sites tend to have more men than women.
Good thing that you are aware of your part.
Don't even bother with her, she clearly doesn't respect you.
nevermind.....i dont want to get hasad (envy) or the evil eye, and i dont like sharing these things so ill just say things might just work out. ill come back with the results. EDIT: I sometimes value my privacy despite having tendencies to overshare.
Last edited by Misfit; 11-08-2023 at 08:16 PM.
Smart choice, inshallah you'll find the right one at the right time.
rejection is a blessing. maybe it was for the best.
no you dont understand, i sometimes overshare and sometimes undershare so ill share again....i deleted what i wrote so ill write it again....when i ran into her she forgot who i was.....i reminded her about the times we spent together as kids and it all came back......so probably she blocked me not knowing who i was.....also, i had an islamic scholar interpret my dream as meaning we would make a good match, namely that there would be love between us. i created a new linkedin page and viewed her page without setting it to private, then when i came back later after setting it to private viewing for a brief moment i was blocked? or a glitch? then i was "unblocked" right away.
I don't think it means anything except for the fact she doesn't want a romntic relationship with you, even if it's destined in the stars or predetermined by faith. She's not a little girl anymore and people change. They grow up. You may have known her as a child but not the woman she is today. Love is built by effort, time, and dedication. There's love between family and friends, not only lovers. Maybe you two shared a bond no one could compare with but it wouldn't matter if you didn't think about how she would feel and not only your wants. That's selfish.
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