IEI-Fe s' Je functions scares me

[Squirrel]

Note : what you're about to read is written based on a personal experience with an IEI-Fe ( D Subtype )

I've met the good and the bad versions of many types , but the only type that I couldn't EVER stand dealing with when getting closer is IEI-Fe

While I enjoy EIE's company , their sense of humor a lot and when they use their Ne , on the other hand IEI-Fe are the worst type - with Subtype - I've ever dealt with

That's because they have the most annoying , disgusting and awful version of Te PoLR in the whole universe
Yes , SEIs have Te PoLR too , and I always end up being harsh on them unintentionally when they're too slow to learn when I teach them something ( although I'm patient in teaching when I see that the other person did - at least - a small part correctly )

Anyway , bac to the worst Te PoLR version :

Te PoLR ( with 1D Se of course ) makes them :

1- don't want to do any kind of physical activity , so they threw everything on you : going to the near market ? naah you do it instead ( and be ready to hear them blaming you if you don't mind going to buy what you want for yourself yet you refuse to bring them what they want ) , carrying a heavy bag even for a short period of time ? nooooooooo you do it instead , visiting someone ? no thanks home is better , etc

2- Don't want to learn any technical thing no matter how simple it is : you have to do everything for them starting from signing them up in any website they want - eg : Facebook , Gmail - although it's just some clicks followed by confirming your email , to charging their phones and updating its apps , yet they don't accept it when I try to teach them how to do it

3- Don't know what " saving " means : spending spending , consuming consuming, don't even think to think about using available resources in a good way , that's not their responsibility it's yours while all they have to do is to consume

4- want an easy life without doing daily things : unless they're working for their own dreams ( in case of D Subtype ) , unless it's something that supports humanity ( ngl I respect this part of them ) they prefer to let you work daily things so they do what they want , and in their worst scenarios they plan to become completely dependent on you and live on the results of your hard work without giving you anything in return , though this usually doesn't happen for a long time because they have Te+Si in Super ego block which means that they won't be comfortable at all when they relax and don't work for a long time

But seriously , Te PoLR isn't the scariest part of IEIs , what scares me more is their Fx when they use it against me

Since I'm a person who considers " House " to be the place where you rest , take care of yourself , enjoy food and relax from world's demands of you outside house , I don't always listen to them or care to do all their wishes ( I do some , but at a specific point I stop and tell them to take care of themselves because they can , I really want to teach them to be dependent a little but they refuse )

So , what happens after I refuse ? I say welcome to their " expert " usage of their Fx functions to defend themselves :

1- they either start talking about how much " selfish " and " self centered " I am , considering me like that and complain about me to everyone - including me -

2- or the worst , they manipulate me via feeding me some Ne , making a nice peaceful environment , then re-ask me to do what they want again after they made sure I'm satisfied now

ngl , I don't mind helping , I do it always when anybody in the family asks me to do something or teach them something , but I DON'T want it to be during my relaxing time

[Squirrel]

Didn't know that interacting with EII-Ne relative and hearing their conversation with that IEI would remind me of all of that

[FDG]

i've seen 3. in some IEIs and that was an issue, but not really 1. and 2., being beta quadra they should have in their values that being strong is an absolute necessity. Just remind them that instead of whining here?

Hard to understand the last part. Why do you care so much about what your relatives and others think of you? If you have enough resources for yourself, it's even better if they want to leave you alone, one person less (See what kind of nice advice 1D Fi can give? ). We're 8 bln on planet earth, you'll find someone else.
Of course if you are dependant on them you are forced to listen to their opinion, yeah...just listen and forget about it.

ngl , I don't mind helping , I do it always when anybody in the family asks me to do something or teach them something , but I DON'T want it to be during my relaxing time

Well that's the thing, you shouldn't do it always, why? Do it in a proportional way to what everyone else is doing.

By the way, my ESI wife has a bit the same struggles, and I have to be the one forcing my hand with her family. Don't think that Te types have it easy with their Fi dom duals: we basically have to play the assholes with the entire world because you can't be bothered to offend anyone yet easily vent privately or on forums about it. Stop venting privately, do something publicly instead - too hard,uh?.

[Sol]

> based on a personal experience with an IEI-Fe ( D Subtype )

There are no "IEI-Fe" or "D Subtype" in Socionics and no basis for that hypotheses.

> I've met the good and the bad versions of many types

There are no versions of types. There are other factors in people besides Jung types which you may like or not. In types related you may only see people with more or lesser expressed some dichotomy, having a function or skills stronger/better or worse.

> That's because they have the most annoying , disgusting and awful version of Te PoLR in the whole universe

Worst Te have base Fe, as it's weakest and nonvalued for them. Augustuinavichiute contradicted here to Jung without good reasons.

You seem to have IEI. As you talk about concrete people, so I'd start what real IR you have with them. Identity is not so bad IR to pay the attention on problems (which are also similar to your own) to make this thread.
Then what other factors besides Jung types could be disliked by you. Problems with logical thinking and talking about facts can be from different reasons. Also you could be annoyed by other reasons, became generally irritated and just to accent redundantly the attention on T issues.

Taking what theory mess you do, I'd recommend to forget Jung types when you are trying to understand people and your perception of them. I doubt you may understand correctly own type to use IR at all.

[Rusal]

Note : what you're about to read is written based on a personal experience with an IEI-Fe ( D Subtype )


Te PoLR ( with 1D Se of course ) makes them :

1- don't want to do any kind of physical activity , so they threw everything on you : going to the near market ? naah you do it instead ( and be ready to hear them blaming you if you don't mind going to buy what you want for yourself yet you refuse to bring them what they want ) , carrying a heavy bag even for a short period of time ? nooooooooo you do it instead , visiting someone ? no thanks home is better , etc

That is the worst issue with them and lies at the core of all eventual problems in their professional and personal life. IEI's modus operandi goes like this: they manage their own time in which daily necessities like shopping for goods, running errands or cleaning chores (and work stuff!) are postponed until the last minute when a partner or whoever lives with them gets tired of waiting and carries out the task themselves.
Number 2 is maybe more age related; number 3 should become less of an issue over time. Number 3 is also related not to wanting expensive things or Se status per se but associated to 1 and 4 the way I see it: why spend time cleaning my disgusting hair brush if I can get a new one cheap and throw the one I have now away? So, they sometimes spend unnecessarily.
I don't think I've ever met an IEI-D. So they carry their general laziness with them all through the dcnh spectrum. What a disease

[SlaveChildOfSlaanesh]

Note : what you're about to read is written based on a personal experience with an IEI-Fe ( D Subtype )

I've met the good and the bad versions of many types , but the only type that I couldn't EVER stand dealing with when getting closer is IEI-Fe

While I enjoy EIE's company , their sense of humor a lot and when they use their Ne , on the other hand IEI-Fe are the worst type - with Subtype - I've ever dealt with

That's because they have the most annoying , disgusting and awful version of Te PoLR in the whole universe
Yes , SEIs have Te PoLR too , and I always end up being harsh on them unintentionally when they're too slow to learn when I teach them something ( although I'm patient in teaching when I see that the other person did - at least - a small part correctly )

Anyway , bac to the worst Te PoLR version :

Te PoLR ( with 1D Se of course ) makes them :

1- don't want to do any kind of physical activity , so they threw everything on you : going to the near market ? naah you do it instead ( and be ready to hear them blaming you if you don't mind going to buy what you want for yourself yet you refuse to bring them what they want ) , carrying a heavy bag even for a short period of time ? nooooooooo you do it instead , visiting someone ? no thanks home is better , etc

2- Don't want to learn any technical thing no matter how simple it is : you have to do everything for them starting from signing them up in any website they want - eg : Facebook , Gmail - although it's just some clicks followed by confirming your email , to charging their phones and updating its apps , yet they don't accept it when I try to teach them how to do it

3- Don't know what " saving " means : spending spending , consuming consuming, don't even think to think about using available resources in a good way , that's not their responsibility it's yours while all they have to do is to consume

4- want an easy life without doing daily things : unless they're working for their own dreams ( in case of D Subtype ) , unless it's something that supports humanity ( ngl I respect this part of them ) they prefer to let you work daily things so they do what they want , and in their worst scenarios they plan to become completely dependent on you and live on the results of your hard work without giving you anything in return , though this usually doesn't happen for a long time because they have Te+Si in Super ego block which means that they won't be comfortable at all when they relax and don't work for a long time

But seriously , Te PoLR isn't the scariest part of IEIs , what scares me more is their Fx when they use it against me

Since I'm a person who considers " House " to be the place where you rest , take care of yourself , enjoy food and relax from world's demands of you outside house , I don't always listen to them or care to do all their wishes ( I do some , but at a specific point I stop and tell them to take care of themselves because they can , I really want to teach them to be dependent a little but they refuse )

So , what happens after I refuse ? I say welcome to their " expert " usage of their Fx functions to defend themselves :

1- they either start talking about how much " selfish " and " self centered " I am , considering me like that and complain about me to everyone - including me -

2- or the worst , they manipulate me via feeding me some Ne , making a nice peaceful environment , then re-ask me to do what they want again after they made sure I'm satisfied now

ngl , I don't mind helping , I do it always when anybody in the family asks me to do something or teach them something , but I DON'T want it to be during my relaxing time

Yeah this sounds like my IEI sister. I've always found this stuff annoying too.

[FDG]

That is the worst issue with them and lies at the core of all eventual problems in their professional and personal life. IEI's modus operandi goes like this: they manage their own time in which daily necessities like shopping for goods, running errands or cleaning chores (and work stuff!) are postponed until the last minute when a partner or whoever lives with them gets tired of waiting and carries out the task themselves.
Number 2 is maybe more age related; number 3 should become less of an issue over time. Number 3 is also related not to wanting expensive things or Se status per se but associated to 1 and 4 the way I see it: why spend time cleaning my disgusting hair brush if I can get a new one cheap and throw the one I have now away? So, they sometimes spend unnecessarily.
I don't think I've ever met an IEI-D. So they carry their general laziness with them all through the dcnh spectrum. What a disease

I'm LIE and I postopone cleaning as much as possible (until eventually some ESI does it, or it becomes unbearable). Not the rest though.

[The Reality Denialist]

I seriously do not know why one IEI refuses to use tech in terms of problem solving or use accounts where it is needed. I think lots of people are like this. (LII for instance can say that a solution exists. Period. Like that is good enough forever.)
I'd say that they can be super flaky. Their Ni, their time. This can be very bad if you have plans.

Ethical Fi hairsplitting can be weird.

I'd not call them scary.

[persimmonism]

I think Dominant subtype is the most unapologetically pronounced version of the type which certainly makes it worse..! I'm an IEI-Fe too, but Creative subtype (Se subtype some might say)

#1 I don't relate to this.. i do have a lot of inertia being a type 9 as well but we need to pushed and then we'll gladly do it but i understand not many types want to have that "burden"
#2 you must be empathetic and understand that it's our PoLR which makes it quite painful even if it sounds stupid to others.. but yes even my dual says i resist Te help very much even from him and i had to slowly learn to trust and accept it (I notice the same thing for SLE-Ti when he receives Fi assistance, there is lots of resistance) your person sounds a little extreme though.. Dominant subtype sounds like it would be worse
#3 I am not like this at all.. your person sounds like an SP-blind, that is more SP territory.
#4 i'd love an easy life without doing much..! SLE helps show us that we actually enjoy doing things. secretly the IEI wants to be active and wants to be a hard-worker but it's buried in deep.

"ngl , I don't mind helping , I do it always when anybody in the family asks me to do something or teach them something , but I DON'T want it to be during my relaxing time"

Can you tell the IEI this? Tell them explicitly that is your need and you'd like them to respect it. Any relationship in general takes good communication.

The way to deal with IEI is to be very firm in delivery. Not reacting to the emotional Fe flourishes. Let them say and finish what they're saying and then just firmly (but not meanly or emotionally) repeat that what you said before.
You should also just explain the reality (Se) of the situation, but make no evaluations. Simply say what has happened. "I did this for you yesterday and the day before when you asked me. You are asking me to do this again right now. You did not do anything for me in return in these days. Therefore ....."
They will whine and whatnot but if you stay firm, don't back down (but don't necessarily be aggressive) they will respect it. Even if they're asking for some small concession like "please just this small thing" don't make the concession. OR make the concession, but you have to be firm that that's it. Basically you can't let them sense weakness. I don't mean be a jerk, though. Just be firm.
At first they might whine and complain and talk bad things about you a bunch, but they WILL come to respect you even if begrudgingly. (Beta is a lot about respect.)

Hope this helps!

@Emily

[HeyokaSireniei]

are you only upset when it messes with your chill time? but have they ever used it in your favor like a way that benefited you ?

[Squirrel]

@Rusal

I don't think I've ever met an IEI-D. So they carry their general laziness with them all through the dcnh spectrum. What a disease

very hardworking and far from laziness in terms of achieving goals, but don't do routine tasks such as shopping or making a cup of tea (for example), Fe Subtype D have very strong similarity with EIEs , they don't sound like Ip at all but rather Ej , still Te PoLR rather than Te Role ( though they usually use Te to plan their activities )

___________________________

@mr provocateur

I seriously do not know why one IEI refuses to use tech in terms of problem solving or use accounts where it is needed

Most likely because it's not included in their life plan, but if another IEI cares about technology, they'll of course learn, even though the reason would be Ni/Ti's reasons rather than Te's usual reasons.

[Squirrel]

@FDG

being beta quadra they should have in their values that being strong is an absolute necessity. Just remind them that instead of whining here?

" Should " , but such values usually come from Ti and Se valuing which are weak functions in IEI case , which means I have to remind them whenever their energy runs out (and keep in mind that this energy is limited and needs time to recharge - especially in Se since it's their weakest function - ), so reminding them is useless after a while.
At home, I am responsible for myself and the responsibilities that my parents place on me since obeying them is a duty , other than that, I have no need for additional responsibilities.

Why do you care so much about what your relatives and others think of you?

I care because of trauma that happened in the past, but its effects persist till this day , I don’t want to talk about it , not " so much " though

______________________


@Sol

You seem to have IEI. As you talk about concrete people, so I'd start what real IR you have with them. Identity is not so bad IR to pay the attention on problems (which are also similar to your own) to make this thread.
Then what other factors besides Jung types could be disliked by you. Problems with logical thinking and talking about facts can be from different reasons. Also you could be annoyed by other reasons, became generally irritated and just to accent redundantly the attention on T issues.

I noticed the problems between me and the person I am talking about in the original post based on my observation of our points of difference , realizing such points doesn't require being identical because human mind is able to easily distinguish points of difference between two things

And if we assumed that your argument is correct, this means two things (either one or both of them ):

1- Anyone whom I can understand the points of difference between us is an IEI , this is unreasonable

2- I'm Identical with anyone whom I realize points of difference between us, which means I have multiple types, also unreasonable

I doubt you may understand correctly own type to use IR at all.

So, it's my fault because I said something that contradicts your opinion of my type , not your fault because you typed incorrectly , good job

btw , this is the most accurate and clearest ITR I have ever come across, regardless of what type of ITR it is , given that I deal with that person on a daily basis, for hours, and we talk and exchange viewpoints between us too

[Sol]

based on my observation of our points of difference

Difference in behavior can be not from different types only.

> don't want to do any kind of physical activity

It's S, not Te. That you can't achieve agreement mb difference in T/F values.
Can be from a human irresponsible, egocentric, physically/intellectually more inferior, upbringing, action mb hard to do for him while for you not or else to rely on other one.

> 2- Don't want to learn any technical thing no matter how simple it is

Weak T. Not obligately nonvalued Te.
Mb general problems as lack of education, intelligence. Mb wanting more of your care and attention.
I'd try to teach the human how to do simple regular tasks by yourself. Inital fear can be a problem, to press "wrong button". Can be tried to explain in details and examples, with writing of steps, with pictures. As manuals are written.

Problems seem too hard to relate mainly on Jung type. And the type can be other. Harder teaching to new is more for S.

> Don't know what " saving " means : spending spending , consuming consuming

general T. and P

> I said something that contradicts your opinion of my type

Your mistakes in types of "very annoying IEI" are very possibly. What you said as specific Te problems were not such and doubtful be related mainly on the type.
Also. To say about very problematic for you type, it's good to compare people with people of different types in _similar conditions_. Preferably several of them with same type. A human of "better" type in same conditions may appear worse felt to deal with. IR influence also is not about behavior only, - you may start feeling emotionally worse without reasons, inner discomfort may lead that you'll be feeling annoyed more what now accept easier. For example, where you dislike going shops and install apps near "IEI", with superego/conflictor the same near you may develop depressive symptoms and to feel as harder to do anything.

For reasonable assurance in own type you need ~10 good-known people with supposed with assurance types which fit good to theory by behavior and IR by your impressions from them. You seem have no this still.
When you'll have, then will be higher chance for your adequate typology discussion.

[Squirrel]

Difference in behavior can be not from different types only.

I'm not just talking about differences in behavior, but very clear differences in functions valuing

It's S, not Te

I mentioned Se one line before :

Te PoLR ( with 1D Se of course ) makes them

1D = extremely weak

Weak T. Not obligately nonvalued Te.

Yeah , but Te weak and nonvalued came from rejection of any facts/scientific studies/ etc, yet instead act according to what is reasonable in their opinion

Mb wanting more of your care and attention.
I'd try to teach the human how to do simple regular tasks by yourself. Inital fear can be a problem, to press "wrong button". Can be tried to explain in details and examples, with writing of steps, with pictures. As manuals are written.

This makes sense , but not educational/intelligence factor though

Your mistakes in types of "very annoying IEI" are very possibly. What you said as specific Te problems were not such and doubtful be related mainly on the type.

In terms of valuing functions , it's so clear that they value Ni Fe Ti Se