Why do people call IEI 'hot'?

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Maybe they can have an energetic exchange? I once heard bentinho massaro (I know) say that oftentimes "allowing" energy to pass through is all that is needed instead of setting out to live out a fantasy. Maybe this applies mostly for NF people though

idk what that fully means, but I know the hottest sex I had it was basically a lot of the SLE going "Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it" - he loved my Ni ideas and I loved his Se reality basically lol. But yeah he wasn't a nice enough guy and in the end too cruel and too focused on sensual pleasures over just treating ppl like decent human beings. Stereotypically, I'm supposed to like Fi polr but it annoys me, I also want somebody that has a good heart - not just good in bed, but yeah it's definitely compatible in the 'realistic' sense lol.

TMI maybe but oh well. Hope everybody is having a good Friday.

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

I always wondered why people think rape jokes are funny in the socionics community.

The only jokes I've seen were about consentual pseudo rape, not actual rape. IEIs saying they want an SLE to dom them, basically.

[Metanoia]

The only jokes I've seen were about consentual pseudo rape, not actual rape. IEIs saying they want an SLE to dom them, basically.

Like noncon. I get that, I do. But I've come across people who think the actual thing is funny. Especially in the weird communities on Discord. It's a reoccurring joke but it rubs me the wrong way

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

But yeah he wasn't a nice enough guy and in the end too cruel and too focused on sensual pleasures over just treating ppl like decent human beings.

What did he do?

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

Like noncon. I get that, I do. But I've come across people who think the actual thing is funny. Especially in the weird communities on Discord. It's a reoccurring joke but it rubs me the wrong way

Yeah, if you ever speak up about people actually joking about the real thing, be careful not to tell them "it rubs me the wrong way." Noticed that because I have PTSD from sexual abuse, and whenever it's triggered (as it is now, from this thread), my mind twists everything people say into something that further triggers me. I have had to teach my hubby to avoid using any words pertaining to the 5 senses just about, any words with double meanings (such as "kitty"), etc. etc. etc. [EDIT: WHEN I'M IN PTSD MODE, I MEANT.]

If I saw any jokes about actual rape I would start scolding them for it, and any arguments they use to defend it...I'd joke about their sensitivities and then use their same defenses right back at them to prove my point because I'm an ESI-Se meme and I do that "eye for an eye" shit.

Welp, time to go use my grounding techniques to get out of PSTD mode.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

What did he do?

more like what he wouldn't do. wouldn't kiss me, wouldn't take me on a date, wouldn't accept his own homosexuality ((he drew a picture of Matthew Shepherd hanging himself and showed it to me and then laughed about it - which I'm not morally judging or virtue signaling as the details of that have been twisted by the media most likely, but still, it was just immature.)) - it was just some sex thing not really a "relationship" anyway. At the time I pretended it was tho even tho it was just a booty call lol.

anyway tho it just made me think in my own brain evil, immoral people = hot and ethical people = bad in bed. Cuz he was definitely good in bed, but that's about it. Like idealistically I think the two can merge but then im not sure its possible ha ha ha.

[Metanoia]

Yeah, if you ever speak up about people actually joking about the real thing, be careful not to tell them "it rubs me the wrong way." Noticed that because I have PTSD from sexual abuse, and whenever it's triggered (as it is now, from this thread), my mind twists everything people say into something that further triggers me. I have had to teach my hubby to avoid using any words pertaining to the 5 senses just about, any words with double meanings (such as "kitty"), etc. etc. etc.

If I saw any jokes about actual rape I would start scolding them for it, and any arguments they use to defend it...I'd joke about their sensitivities and then use their same defenses right back at them to prove my point because I'm an ESI-Se meme and I do that "eye for an eye" shit.

Welp, time to go use my grounding techniques to get out of PSTD mode.

We (forum members) should be mindful when it comes to triggering topics. I'll admit I'm callous when it comes to tw discussions, but I'll keep that in mind and apply it for future notice. Thank you for informing me though and I hope you are alright

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

more like what he wouldn't do. wouldn't kiss me, wouldn't take me on a date, wouldn't accept his own homosexuality ((he drew a picture of Matthew Shepherd hanging himself and showed it to me and then laughed about it - which I'm not morally judging or virtue signaling as the details of that have been twisted by the media

Ok, comes off childish and not grimdark. You should have let your mother/Anima alter raise him .jkjkjjnnvhjhgjj

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

We (forum members) should be mindful when it comes to triggering topics. I'll admit I'm callous when it comes to tw discussions, but I'll keep that in mind and apply it for future notice. Thank you for informing me though and I hope you are alright

*shrugs*
It's life. It happens. Honestly, this is the only PTSD shit I avoid, personally. All the rest of my PTSD triggers, I just purposely exposed myself to the shit all the more when I realized that's what they were, so that I could face them head on and overcome them by analyzing what was happening within my psyche and then reprogramming my brain. It was pretty successful. This one, I cannot do that with...at least not right now. I've made some progress with it, though, so perhaps someday. However, I still chose to click on this thread and involve myself in it a little. I'm not really your average person when it comes to these topics, so my input probably should not represent others with PTSD, but I personally don't have any problems with how things are now.

*Shrugs* It's the E8-ish side of me. I don't make others accommodate my sensitivities like some sensitive snowflake, I just plow through my sensitivities/vulnerabilities and heal so I don't have those issues anymore. I overcame all of my PTSD except this by purposely exposing those vulnerabilities like, "Thanks for taking the bait by weaponizing it against me, thus being a tool for making me stronger." Kind of was a hardcore/intense form of exposure therapy.

^The only reason I taught my hubby to avoid certain things is so he can help me during the most intense and critical points of the PTSD, when I'm in the midst of having flashbacks and shit. With most people, I'd just withdraw to work through shit alone when I reach those stages. He is my closest person, so he is different. If he is to be around me during those more intense stages of PTSD, he needed to learn some things. As hardcore/intense about shit as I am, even I have my limits.

[Bethanyclaire]

I usually notice IEI facial flaws but I’m starting to see them more as interesting quirks. Like all the good and interesting rolled into one. IEI have a calming effect on people- they can be hard to fault because of that. Plus we are the living embodiment of romanticism, other types are more outwardly romantic, but try as they might they don’t quite reach the level of romanticism that IEI has on the inside, and gently exudes without trying. Hot. Lol. Also maybe vain and some will be high maintenance but the romanticism can save us from that.

ILI love us for all of the above

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

Tbh, I've never heard anyone call IEI "hot," and if going by personality descriptors, I also wouldn't be attracted to a personality that is like that, personally...they lost me at the Ni Base description (ILI doesn't sound attractive to me either)...I think that shit would drive me nuts if I lived with it on a daily basis...so I have no clue what this thread is even talking about. Considering I've been around for a while and still haven't heard anyone say it, this sounds kind of made up.

[Renna]

This game fit the thread pretty well I think, Fiona could be IEI…

[Muira]

Last though, IEI seems to be fuckable nerds.

[anotherperson]

Last though, IEI seems to be a fuckable nerd.

but ofc you think that. you're the dual

[Muira]

but ofc you think that. you're the dual

Shut up, but you are right

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I thought activity not dual.

[LukaDoncic]

I cannot understand a single work that you have typed.

The need for clarity and exposed undertows is just the pinch of danger in the random chess board goliath.

[Sol]

Having suggestive Se and F may behave sexually provoking to inspire a wish to get them as a trophy.
They may wear open clothes, bright colors and behave more flirty. To intentionally inspire emotions is what F types do better.

This should arise sexual thoughts to fit that term "hot". In more degree than for some other types, which have lesser interest to remind whores.

IEI seems to be fuckable nerds

with nerds associate NTs

[Muira]

Having suggestive Se and F may behave sexually provoking to inspire a wish to get them as a trophy.
They may wear open clothes, bright colors and behave more flirty. To intentionally inspire emotions is what F types do better.

This should arise sexual thoughts to fit that term "hot". In more degree than for some other types, which have lesser interest to remind whores.



with nerds associate NTs

I know.

[Muira]

The need for clarity and exposed undertows is just the pinch of danger in the random chess board goliath.

Are you on crack?

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Like noncon. I get that, I do. But I've come across people who think the actual thing is funny. Especially in the weird communities on Discord. It's a reoccurring joke but it rubs me the wrong way

Report this to one of the mods and we'll investigate it. ((if you haven't already)) We tend to be more lenient here, but I mean, we do have rules and standards still. Hopefully lawl. Sadly there is a chance people might think the Deltas are just being too prude-ish and uptight since... that can be a negative side of Delta - but I agree with you that it's immoral and wrong. (I'm 3rd most like a IEE myself anyway in Talanov's system, which I respect the most kinda)

I don't mean anything by my Dahmer jokes so I'm sorry if I hurt you with those. But I can see some Deltas getting bothered by them, I suppose. I really don't think Ryan Murphy should have re-made that Dahmer series just because he got personally offended that people told him he wasn't being str8 grimdark enough in his movies/TV series and they were all campy fluff. So fucking what? Campy fluff touches people's hearts- society itself is already addicted too much to watching the sickness.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Are you on crack?

He has autism. Basically he's a 28 year old man with the brain of about an 8-12 year old. He can't help it, and this site attracts people with autism for some reason. Cuz LGBT+autism people often have a strong allyship I think.

[Muira]

Report this to one of the mods and we'll investigate it. ((if you haven't already)) We tend to be more lenient here, but I mean, we do have rules and standards still. Hopefully lawl. Sadly there is a chance people might think the Deltas are just being too prude-ish and uptight since... that can be a negative side of Delta - but I agree with you that it's immoral and wrong. (I'm 3rd most like a IEE myself anyway in Talanov's system, which I respect the most kinda)

I don't mean anything by my Dahmer jokes so I'm sorry if I hurt you with those. But I can see some Deltas getting bothered by them, I suppose. I really don't think Ryan Murphy should have re-made that Dahmer series just because he got personally offended that people told him he wasn't being str8 grimdark enough in his movies and they were all campy fluff. So fucking what? Campy fluff touches people's hearts- society itself is already addicted too much to watching the sickness.

Making offensive jokes once in a awhile in the right situation is fine, but when people continuously joke about fucked up shit, they unintentionally rationalize the idea and grow more desensitized. Same thing about in taking media, it's normalized, then people accept it. So I get why it rubs her the wrong way.

[Metanoia]

Report this to one of the mods and we'll investigate it. ((if you haven't already)) We tend to be more lenient here, but I mean, we do have rules and standards still. Hopefully lawl. Sadly there is a chance people might think the Deltas are just being too prude-ish and uptight since... that can be a negative side of Delta - but I agree with you that it's immoral and wrong. (I'm 3rd most like a IEE myself anyway in Talanov's system, which I respect the most kinda)

I don't mean anything by my Dahmer jokes so I'm sorry if I hurt you with those. But I can see some Deltas getting bothered by them, I suppose. I really don't think Ryan Murphy should have re-made that Dahmer series just because he got personally offended that people told him he wasn't being str8 grimdark enough in his movies/TV series and they were all campy fluff. So fucking what? Campy fluff touches people's hearts- society itself is already addicted too much to watching the sickness.

Yeah, no you're fine I'm more a Dahmer jokester too myself. Nothings better than eating an asscheek sandwich amirite?

Bone app the teeth

Thank you though it means a lot. Surprisingly 16t forum isn't the worst when it comes to those things as far I see but I'll keep that in mind. We all float down here I guess

[Metamorph]

I recognize that quote. It's from Sylvia Plath's "Lady Lazarus" poem. E 4 indeed

Reminder that for all Sylvia Plath "just hated the patriarchy," she was doing stuff she really shouldn't have been.

How black magic killed Sylvia Plath | Sylvia Plath | The Guardian

[Squirrel]

Because they exist only in fairytales

[Rusal]

Last though, IEI seems to be fuckable nerds.

You're right.

An IEI-Ni will walk halfway between reality and somewhere else, they can look like their minds was somewhere else while they were getting dressed or fixing their hair. They might want to try to fix it with some lipstick. Not sure it works.

IEI-Fe might have a happy-go-lucky vibe just waltzed out of Alpha. But with a pair of glasses or understated garments something.

It improves with age. Some of them look good.

Both can look "nerds" in the endearing sense of the word.

The link between Fe and suggestive Se with bright and 'provocative' clothes and their role in courtship is exaggerated. Mostly because it's the SLE that manages and graduates it through "cold and hot" behavior (the prolongs after contact has been established and ripened). Crazy because we think that it's 'coquettish' IEI that deals with that part of interaction and maybe in the beginning yeah (but only as they get entangled in the 'cruel' game of the aggressor) but then it's the SLE that dictates what the deal is going to be and the IEI is left just hanging waiting to see if they're still loved/liked until SLE leaves his 'cold' phase. That's basically I think the victim-aggressor dynamic.

And they way the SLE goes about it is by subconsciously zooming in on the right and nice, pliable aura of the Ni lead in question. The IEI might be on a corner munching on boring tuna salad dressed in dungarees, who cares. Much more importance is put on "looking lavish" by Gammas SFs, imo. And EII women when they are young the do the big hair and clothes a size or 2 smaller, too.

IEI-SLE dynamic is somewhat captured this yaoi manga here: https://chapmanganelo.com/manga-op97809/chapter-1

The author must be an IEI. I say that not only because of the overall portrayal of the characters but because there's the smallest hint of resentment in all that idealization: for better or for worse, IEIs secretly suspect some sort of 'cunning' on the part of SLEs they can't really access or control, so they're always on the losing side of the equation. It's nice when the SLEs show their nice side because it's what keeps the relationship fresh but then they 'freeze' everything at the least expected moment. And IEI's resentment of course comes from the fact that they know that they have to wait otherwise leaving the relationship or threatening to break away puts them in a worse position: an SLE might just let them go and no one is going to award them sex or a relationship just for being a passive phantasmagoria like an SLE would.

[AWellArmedCat]

to address child/caregiver:
child and caregiver dont work this way. the giving and recieving is roughly even, with child bringing mental stimuli, and caregiver bringing physical. neither has a fully planned out tactic, they prefer to see things as they come.

the naming is honestly not too great, and i think its time these ill-describing terms were deprecated.

the "rape association" is from the stereotypes, and i also wonder how many IEIs arent actually IEIs just bc they were typed for being "feminine submissives".

For the record, my current and by far best relationship sounds exactly like the child/caregiver dynamic you describe. My girlfriend is an SEI resident doctor and fits the caregiver role to a T. Prior to this, my last major relationship was with a very victim-y girl, and it did not go well. In fantasy I'm very much a victim type I would say, but in practice I definitely spend most of my time "bringing mental stimuli" if it can be called that. I'm glad she enjoys it because I can't help but to share my grand philosophies of the universe.
What you say about IEIs being mistyped seems probable to me. I tend to favour IEI as the typing for myself, but things like this definitely feel like evidence towards me being IEE. I certainly don't fit the caregiver or aggressor archetypes at all, but deciding between victim and childlike is difficult due to limited romantic experience with aggressors and an apparent gap between the sexual fantasies I enjoy and how I actually behave IRL. Anyways, I like your post. It's given me lots of things to think about

[AWellArmedCat]

According to my current girlfriend, I'm "Cute... and sometimes hot!"

I think people are more inclined to seeing me that way lol

[HeyokaSireniei]

because that what most people say about us , not how we see ourselves, we can hardly even physically see ourselves, it takes us a while to even fully physically see someone else we mostly have an image of the person based on a series of patterns we have picked up from them overtime before we actually really look at them, because when we do we will see all the flaws of we really look.

We prefer to idolism people the same way we anthropomorphize animals and objects; everything has a soul and sometimes a spirit.
so its not something we think about ourselves unless we are naturally and actively working towards a goal that is physical, we are aware that we are not unattractive for many reasons. for the males its the voice and eyes , for female its the way they move or smile, among other things but because we have creative fe and demon fi

we can be very charismatic and charming so that and what god gave us for some reason makes people attractive to us .

but i think se doms are the hottest and se creatives are very sexy
but se polrs are adorable

[rizz]

Because SLE forgot IEI was in sauna.

[Sol]

se doms are the hottest

From objective (excluding IR) side - base Si should. If to link sexual interest with Si, mainly.
Base Se may have more of sexual partners and more of sexual activity. More care about objective traits of body look: to wear bright and costy things, open clothes, plastic surgery, bodybuilding.
But Se is about surface - a wish for something objective to have, get or do. While sensual pleasures is secondary for Se.

> se polrs are adorable

should not be for IEI. may be liked strong and same valued parts in those types
concrete people which are "adorable" may to have other IR with you