Type me based on my relationship with my Fi function
Oh boy, where do I start.
Usually I tend to be very good with people when I first get to know them, but I always try to maintain a friendly and formal persona around newbies. I'm pretty impersonal when dealing with strangers or people I don't care for in general. I'm not very good at making new friends, or making friends with the type of people I wish I would be friends with.
As a kid, I was isolated because of issues that happened at home. I was pretty introverted and more focused on school and learning, I can come off as that today but I'm more ambiverted. However, this wasn't because I didn't want to form connections, I did, just I didn't know how too. So I just rather choose to befriend everyone, and just analyze how everyone behaved and what their actions/intentions were. This way I learned how the majority of people where, where they were on the hidden hierarchy of popularity, and how much of an agreeable person they were.
Eventually during late elementary to freshmen year of high school, I ended up becoming popular unintentionally. During elementary, I was more of a "infantile" and "emotional" type of person, constantly wishing for comfort and saw everyone around me as too evil. I was always seen as the kid that was incapable of doing anything wrong. Once I hit puberty, I became almost the opposite, I became much more violitial, less empathetic, grounded, and very action orientated. This was more likely due to a response to my environment, which I wouldn't want to discuss in detail, but it sucked in summary. I sort of just lost all my senses of care about my friendships during that time. Now, I would be seen as someone who would only act out when provoked or saw others get taken advantaged of, and with good reason.
I learned the hard way that force was the only way to get respect or anything in life. So I continued my insensitive behavior.
For the reason I gained popularity, I still held some of my old traits, mixed with my more new personality and mindset. I would often do favors for people, fixing their problems when they wanted to vent, yet I was more introverted and remained busy with my own life. I think people only liked my ability to help them on issues and give them realistic advice that would work for their specific situation. There would be people saying "Hi!" to me, even though I wouldn't even remember their face at all.
More or so, despite always wanting a friendship that was genuine as a kid, I was still bad at making friends that I felt like I had a close connection with, and I was more afraid of rejection and being misunderstood, so I avoided such things. So basically I lied to myself that I didn't need close friends or relying on validation was pathetic, which it is, but so was running away from my own inability to feel close to someone.
So around middle school, I met someone who was my opposite, I already wrote about them, but I didn't really get along until I saw the value of our friendship. That they were the only friendship that was maintained when everyone parted ways by the end of middle school. So I kept in touch with him, and he does nag me a lot about my insensitivity, but I tone myself down when he is around.
Once he said that I was way more kind and compassionate than I gave myself credit for. Thinking about it, he was right, I do care how people think more than I say I do in real life. I mean we all seek validation in some way, right?
After him, I sort of developed some ability to sense how fake and distant people around me were. I started to cut out a lot of people I felt were really distant and only wanted to use me out my life, its nice not having to take care of people you don't cherish. Plus, extra time for me!
Bonus: My romantic|Friendship behavior
I'm sort of all over the place, but I don't have a sex life since I want to save it for marriage. Call me boring, but at least I know I won't feel like I'm being used or exploited. Plus, it's just logical, however I'm still semi-chaotic in some other areas.
I tend to secretly have doubt about the feelings of my s/o, so I just wait and see what happens. I tend to be direct, but more somewhat restrained in my expression when waiting for permission for things like affection Usually then I would become as attentive and try to satisfy my s/o as much as possible. When it comes to love, I'm pretty private, sensitive to words and tones of my s/o, not quick to forgive malicious intentions or acts, and pretty sentimental(ew).
For affection, I like to be more energetic and sometimes aggressive. That's just when I don't feel serious, however I don't seek to hurt anyone. I tend to be smothering, intense, and just invasive at times. I just LOVE STRONG INTENSE HUGS, but not when they sniff me though. I just want to merge with the person I consider my s/o, and sort of be one and indifferent to them, and I tend to expect that they will respect my boundaries.
Other than my possessive behavior, I also tend to the needs of others and ensure my loyalty. However, I need loyalty and love to be reciprocated to feel safe. I often go to the extreme lengths of making sure my s/o and best friends are happy, I even attempt to make sure they are physically and emotionally well. I tend to make a good listener, and someone who can give good advice. Understanding people's perspectives can be hard, but my curiosity and me just wanting to make sure everyone is fine ensures that I will put in a lot of effort to understand everyone(except assholes that I would probably slap).
I tend to get jealous VERY easily, and I express it boldly. My boyfriend on the other hand, has mentioned he gets jealous at times, but never says it because he doesn't want to make me feel controlled. It's annoying to have to tell him I don't want to make him jealous at all and to be more expressive. So I prioritize getting him to at least state how he feels, then I would basically try to make it up to him.
He thinks I'm a little obnoxious, while I tend to think he is too confusing. At times, I would often feel upset and would isolate myself from him(and people in general) for days on end just to regain my own sense of autonomy, which at times does scare him into thinking I hate him, but I just need a break from people when I feel overwhelmed by people. Me being personal with people isn't my nature, and I can only bend myself to satisfy him for only so long, that's what happens when you grow up being more observant of social atmospheres than interacting with people in a almost intimate and personal level.
I usually stay guarded with my friends, except for a few. Violate my autonomy or make me feel unworthy and you're gone, I don't have much attachment to most people around me, that's just how it is. After all, they only like me for the benefits it comes with when it comes to befriending me. I just feel like the people around me aren't very genuine.
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(as per tcaudilllg)
Originally Posted by Sol
