IEE and SLI initial dualization (I hate being in love)

[Peppermint Wind Vane]

I'm also an IEE (male) and I've been in a similar situation, where the person was giving obvious signs of interest, and I just pretended I didn't see them. In my case, if the girl gets touchy I let her do that and I like it, but the more someone shows constant interest the less I feel challenged to pursue a relationship with them.
My interests in someone fluctuate a lot depending on how my intuition sees potential for partnership, and there's a difference between a fling, a friend, and a life partner. So if you just show interest, it doesn't really mean much unless you give hints of what it is you want from me.
Of course you can advance in the area of the senses, touching, being caring, because I don't feel confident to do that. But in my experience, touching is just a sign of attraction, and not necessarily love or a simple crush. So I let all types of women do the touching and that doesn't make me feel like they love me or anything.

Another point, intuitives may despise people who have sensing as dominant function, personal experience, and only value the relation after it's gone.

So my tip for you is offer help where you see the other person is having difficulties, and then back off (but be discrete about it, actually just give them space and time)
Always give them something related to your strengths and then take it away, or give them time and space, so they can miss you before you actually go away.

The most plausible possibility is that thia person is not dualized or has not met their duals yet and probably they don't know how much they can enjoy your company, they may not be in touch with their inferior function yet, which is common in college.

There was a girl who did pretty much what you are doing now, and I just considered her nothing. I never appreciated her. Then after a long time, and a lot of exposure and I realized how much I liked her and how much she was important.

So be patient, give her time and space, be more of a challenge, offer useful service, and keep being touchy (that definitely helps)

My SEE in this profile is just for me to throw away stupidities without being questioned

This is the best advice I've received up until now, thank you.

Still, just to confirm if I understood everything, what you're telling me is that I shouldn't be hyper focused on being with her all the time and openly showing that I'm interested at first, which in turn will make her start being more interested in knowing me due to missing my company. If that's the case, I can definitely see it working, but one thing that I need to ask in that case is this: What are the kinds of situations I would be able to help her with? Because I don't really see how to offer her any help in the many areas I know she is lacking without being intrusive or sounding insensitive.

[BrainlessSquid]

This is the best advice I've received up until now, thank you.

Still, just to confirm if I understood everything, what you're telling me is that I shouldn't be hyper focused on being with her all the time and openly showing that I'm interested at first, which in turn will make her start being more interested in knowing me due to missing my company. If that's the case, I can definitely see it working, but one thing that I need to ask in that case is this: What are the kinds of situations I would be able to help her with? Because I don't really see how to offer her any help in the many areas I know she is lacking without being intrusive or sounding insensitive.

I don't know if you already know this but duality is not an ordinary relation, sometimes it may take a long time to properly develop if one of the parts is not experienced with complementary types. SLI-IEE is probably the hardest dyad to form due to both being result pairs and don juans.

Yes, you should absolutely avoid being with her all the time, especially if you are forcing this. You should give your best, do your best, and then give time and space.

Also, duality sometimes implies love and hate (even at the same time). So you have to take the risk of intruding in her subconscious by giving help on her thinking and sensing. But don't give advices nor opinions around logic and senses, instead ask to offer help improving something she's already done. It can be areas where it involves being detail oriented, looks, systems, performing tasks, even chores.

You can work in groups with her, but be discrete about the possibility of working with them, don't make it sound like you wanted to be with them byt rather, let the opportunity arise.

When I say you can intrude in her subconscious I mean it can be uncomfortable for her to receive help depending on her level of self awareness and dualization or even independence.

The most important thing: don't pretend to be someone else, be completely natural in your behavior and don't think too much about what to say, let the words come out of your mouth as though it came from your spirit, and the only way is by stopping to monitor your behavior around her

As you're still in college, I'm guessing it may difficult to establish relations in a systematic way. But if you two are really duals, just being exposed to the truer versions of yourselves over some time will definitely have a huge impact. Duality is a communication between conscious and unconscious. So it is important to not force things too much, and just be the best person you can be for her, but don't look desperate and don't lower yourself and value your own company as an introvert

[Peppermint Wind Vane]

I don't know if you already know this but duality is not an ordinary relation, sometimes it may take a long time to properly develop if one of the parts is not experienced with complementary types. SLI-IEE is probably the hardest dyad to form due to both being result pairs and don juans.

Yes, you should absolutely avoid being with her all the time, especially if you are forcing this. You should give your best, do your best, and then give time and space.

Also, duality sometimes implies love and hate (even at the same time). So you have to take the risk of intruding in her subconscious by giving help on her thinking and sensing. But don't give advices nor opinions around logic and senses, instead ask to offer help improving something she's already done. It can be areas where it involves being detail oriented, looks, systems, performing tasks, even chores.

You can work in groups with her, but be discrete about the possibility of working with them, don't make it sound like you wanted to be with them byt rather, let the opportunity arise.

When I say you can intrude in her subconscious I mean it can be uncomfortable for her to receive help depending on her level of self awareness and dualization or even independence.

The most important thing: don't pretend to be someone else, be completely natural in your behavior and don't think too much about what to say, let the words come out of your mouth as though it came from your spirit, and the only way is by stopping to monitor your behavior around her

As you're still in college, I'm guessing it may difficult to establish relations in a systematic way. But if you two are really duals, just being exposed to the truer versions of yourselves over some time will definitely have a huge impact. Duality is a communication between conscious and unconscious. So it is important to not force things too much, and just be the best person you can be for her, but don't look desperate and don't lower yourself and value your own company as an introvert

Yeah, I know duality takes a lot of time to develop, it's mostly just that I'm really impatient when it comes to relationships (which is probably why they end up in disaster). It's kinda funny, really. I know what my problem is, I just don't know how to work on it.

I wouldn't say that I'm forcing it, at least from my perspective, because whenever we stay together it's usually with other friends around, mostly because I like keeping them company, with or without her around. If it's just us though, it's always because it happened to be convenient for the both of us to be together at that place in time.

We also do work in the same groups, we decided as soon as we became friends that we'd do group assignments together whenever possible (mostly due to the fact that we're too lazy to befriend more people than the small group we already have), so that's a non-issue right now.

About the love-hate aspect, I can totally see that. Sometimes when I point things out to her about her sensing (such as food on her face or her teeth, her glasses being dirty, and so on), she acts kind of annoyed, but not in a bad way. It's more of a "I wish I didn't have to rely on you to point that out to me" kind of annoyance. If I correct her or try to help her understand theoretical concepts from our classes from a practical point of view, she also has similar reactions, but those are more pronounced, and she usually just ends up saying she'd rather stick with her own interpretations to not get even more confused (even though she always arrives at the same conclusions I was trying to point her to, which makes me giggle).

And, yeah, I'm over pretending to be someone I'm not. Either way people will find a way to hate me when it suits them, so being myself is the most efficient way to achieve that result lol. But I get what you mean, not being genuine during something as complex as the dualization process can fuck you over in more ways than one, so I make sure to be as true to myself as I can. Most of my insecurities stem from how she'll react to me being myself, and not from me being myself, if that makes any sense.

Again, thank you! You've been very helpful.

[BrainlessSquid]

Yeah, I know duality takes a lot of time to develop, it's mostly just that I'm really impatient when it comes to relationships (which is probably why they end up in disaster). It's kinda funny, really. I know what my problem is, I just don't know how to work on it.

I wouldn't say that I'm forcing it, at least from my perspective, because whenever we stay together it's usually with other friends around, mostly because I like keeping them company, with or without her around. If it's just us though, it's always because it happened to be convenient for the both of us to be together at that place in time.

We also do work in the same groups, we decided as soon as we became friends that we'd do group assignments together whenever possible (mostly due to the fact that we're too lazy to befriend more people than the small group we already have), so that's a non-issue right now.

About the love-hate aspect, I can totally see that. Sometimes when I point things out to her about her sensing (such as food on her face or her teeth, her glasses being dirty, and so on), she acts kind of annoyed, but not in a bad way. It's more of a "I wish I didn't have to rely on you to point that out to me" kind of annoyance. If I correct her or try to help her understand theoretical concepts from our classes from a practical point of view, she also has similar reactions, but those are more pronounced, and she usually just ends up saying she'd rather stick with her own interpretations to not get even more confused (even though she always arrives at the same conclusions I was trying to point her to, which makes me giggle).

And, yeah, I'm over pretending to be someone I'm not. Either way people will find a way to hate me when it suits them, so being myself is the most efficient way to achieve that result lol. But I get what you mean, not being genuine during something as complex as the dualization process can fuck you over in more ways than one, so I make sure to be as true to myself as I can. Most of my insecurities stem from how she'll react to me being myself, and not from me being myself, if that makes any sense.

Again, thank you! You've been very helpful.

Not all IEEs are ready to be corrected on aspects of the inferior function.
What you've just said reminds of Love is Blind the season which has Cole Barnett and Zanab. Cole is an IEE and Zanab seems like a SxI, and one of the main reasons for misunderstandings is her constant inspectioning of his inferior Si, to the point that he points out that she's "undervaluing and inferiorizing him" whereas a dualized individual would just recognize that as help from a side of strength that is balanced by his strength in other areas.

Also she may react negatively to your being yourself or not, it doesn't matter much on the short term. Duals tend to fight and then learn and embrace growth. Her reaction is relative to her only, you can't control that.

My early experience is that I would either hate you or find you completely useless or boring (for being too realistic, static, and logical, or just focused on the physical) but over time the table turns in your favor.

Also, you're welcome. It's the first time I see an SLI going after an IEE, it's usually the opposite. So you're peculiar in that sense, pretty interesting