Holy hell I wasn't expecting this one. I'd first recommend doing what I did and learning all you can about attachment theory and all things related to it. Furthermore, no surprise to anyone who has followed me for any significant length of time I am the example of a big IQ who went for "people" over the Hard Sciences and by the grace of God am I glad I did. (i.e. There's a reason there's more Newtons, Einsteins, and Teslas over Aquinas's, Sheen's, and Ratzinger's)Originally Posted by iamablueberrymadeoflove
This is a common refrain from anyone who is familiar with attachment, but it must be said with the full faith and conviction of a martyr about to die for the faith. As they had the virtue of "faith" they believed in God and both his infinite justice and mercy. So must the broken believe in the fact that they can be loved and/or that someone can actually love them truly and deeply flaws and all (within reason of course as accepting love, like having true faith, necessitates certain actions and by their presence or lack you can determine if someone actually cares about/loves you for real).
Like I've said, to break your bad attachment you have to overcome your hardwired inclinations. Easy on paper, Herculean Feat hard in practice. "Just be yourself" eh? Yeah, if your literal brain chemistry is screaming at you "Being yourself will earn you only hatred and abandonment" (i.e. Anxious), "Being yourself will only allow others to play you like a fool" (i.e. Avoidant), "What the hell am I supposed to do if I don't know if the other person hates me or not!?" (Anxious-Avoidant).
This is sadly the hardest thing to heal as it involves one taking a major risk that has likely at some point not worked out well. Like, ya tried to turn to your mother as you told her in all honesty about how daddy was sodomizing you and she in turn didn't believe you as he did exactly that the next room over as you screamed for help. Sorry, ILI's are pretty darn great at making intuitive leaps in regards to the maximization of suffering (hence why for this and many another reason we're often the villains in any given story).
To heal Anxious-Avoidant attachment then. Like I said, ya gotta actually believe you're worthy of unconditional love. This is how you heal any attachment issue but like I said above it is both easy as hell and also hard as a "no-hit" run in a FromSoft game.
I'm going to be honest about this one, you're gonna have to get comfortable with an autistic if ya wanna brute force this. They are gonna boil your trauma down to facts and mathematical variables and you're gonna have to just be cool with that. Equations that refuse to be solved logically are their heroin and thus that's probably gonna be the only "high-value" mates you stand a chance at attracting as you are right now.
To put it in more plain terms. If you're a girl and if you're like iama you're gonna have to give a lower entity a chance despite the fact that hypergamy is a factual thing...
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