Lately I've been reconsidering my mom's type. Awhile back @Adam Strange mentioned that my mom VIs as IEI, and though I didn't take it seriously at the time, it's been occupying my mind lately.


I initially typed her in MBTI as ESFJ, and in moving to Socionics I just left her as ESE because it never really occurred to me to reassess her type. The primary reason for the ESFJ typing in the first place is that she is very sociable, has a reputation for being the "party planner" to everyone who knows her, and is just a very expressive and happy person. I realize this isn't a very robust basis for a typing, and that's why I'm reassessing her now.


Here's what her sister, my SLI aunt who's also into Socionics, said about her when I brought up the idea that she may not be ESE (I sorta randomly suggested IEE as a possible alternative, though I didn't put much thought into that one either):


"In fact it was hitting me funny the other day that she didn’t seem like a typical Fe-Program type
Reading Filatova’s IEE description and it doesn’t sound like your mom, especially when it comes to lack of reliability and putting minimal effort toward domestic chores
I’m also trying to resist the temptation to compare her to other IEEs I’ve known who make their lack of planning and foresight everyone else’s problem 😂
But it could be I’ve known extreme or unhealthy IEEs…there are elements to the behaviors I can kind of see in your mom — just thinking about tea party planning, for instance…
I’m typically the one who thinks through the detail while she’s got the big picture nailed…we’re both aiming for a particular aesthetic, but looking at it from different perspectives
My perspective is focused on materials, sensory details, the color of the forks and spoons
She wants it to have a specific vibe…but the details are less interesting. I like to plan down to the last minute - and she’s incredibly laid back about the timing.
When it comes to party time, I tend to want to chill out and hang with people while she goes into serve-mode. I always get the sense it’s hard for her to just sit and absorb the beauty of the moment. I don’t know how to interpret that part in light of the IEE possibility or ESE for that matter. It’s almost as if once the event starts, she’s satisfied that the production has occurred and it’s on to the next thing??
I also get the sense that the production/creation is entirely her brainchild and I’m just a contributor. When speaking of how something will be done, she rarely says "we" but rather "I". This is a subtlety I’ve noticed over the last several years. I’d chalked it up to her not wanting me to feel obligated…but we’ve always done the tea party together - I didn’t just jump in and help out one year and now it’s our thing. I wonder if this behavior is common with visionaries.
The more I talk about it, the more open I am to the possibility of her being IEE…but a very healthy and stable one. She doesn’t like possibility-killers like diets and exercise…if you start to talk politics, philosophy, physical health, etc, she will humorously change the subject unless she’s having a 1-1 discussion with you
In light of all that, it’s tough to think about Si being valued much…"


My own experience of her is that she's a very outwardly oriented person who severely dislikes engaging in anything unpleasant. She doesn't "get" why people enjoy horror, stories with sad endings, or extreme metal vocals. She's very positive and likes to stay that way. She's fine with drama in stories as long as it all turns out alright in the end. The ending to her is incredibly important, and is what she always focuses on when criticizing movies she doesn't like. She's pretty seriously critical of media in general come to think of it, and is very quick to point out unconvincing acting, or little story beats that don't work for her.
She's always been very involved in my and my siblings' lives, and is a big part of the reason I came to Japan. I've always credited her with giving me the little push of willpower to come here by figuring out a bunch of the Te details of what forms to submit to where and when so I didn't have to. Such details are usually my reason for not doing things I might otherwise be interested in, and she's always veen very quick to remove such obstacles. She also seemed to start living vicariously through me before I even got here. She imagined my future in Japan and seemed to get very excited about it despite it not even being her who was going, and it still being a long way off at the time.
She really likes starting projects and is never not working on something. Her usual projects are parties and plays. She teaches a high school theatre tech class now, but even when she was just a parent and not officially on staff she did 90% of the work for those plays for all my and my siblings' years at that school (about 8 or 9 years total). Even outside of work she enjoys making cosplays for herself or other people. She's very artistically inclined generally. She's painted murals on several walls of our house, and is prone to changing things about the house constantly. She'll decide she just doesn't like the colour of a particular wall anymore and not only will she repaint it, but in the process she'll probably decide she doesn't like anything at all about the whole room it's in and convince my dad to do a full remodel of it. Something about our house has changed significantly every year since it was built.
She's also a big fan of puzzles. Sudoku in particular is one of her favourites, but she really enjoys any kind of logical puzzle, and has always done one as part of her morning coffee time. If you're familiar with the Nancy Drew PC games, she's played through all of them (some of them several times) with my aunt. She also enjoyed the puzzles in the KotOR games quite a bit, but didn't actually play the game herself cause she doesn't like fighting in games. She just watched my dad play it, and solved the puzzles as they came up.
As my aunt mentioned, she's not one for talking politics, religion, or anything serious really. Any time a conversation starts to get "serious" in any way she tries to change the subject in a light-hearted way. If she can't she'll tend to disengage. When I video call my family, it often happens that I'll start talking about something more serious, and she'll give the iPad to my aunt or my dad and take that opportunity to go do dishes or laundry or something. She doesn't act upset about it or anything. It's just not something she likes engaging with, so she'll leave me to talk about that stuff with someone who enjoys it, and comes back when she thinks we've moved onto something more her speed.


She's my mom, so I could talk at great length about her, but I think that's probably more than sufficient for now. I feel like I almost know her too well to type her (and have also - probably incorrectly - thought of her as ESFJ for far too long to see clearly), and would love to hear your thoughts. I'm sorry I wrote probably too much, so don't feel bad skimming and giving a one-word answer even. I'm very curious to hear other ideas regardless of how thorough you'd like to be! ^-^

A pic of my mom (with my dad who I type as SEI) for VI reference:
parents - Copy.jpg