So I'm not sure that this is the most helpful advice, but the most straightforward solution to this might be to find a way to fix the problem that's causing the self hatred. I guess if the problem is related to sex, then maybe find new methods to pleasure people. I've heard a phrase that went along the lines of "It's not size that matters, it's how you use it.". I can't really say that I have personal experience in that area, so I'm not sure of how accurate that is.

I guess if you can't fix the problem, you could try to improve a different characteristic of yours so that when others' weigh your positives/negatives, you seem to be more positive than negative.

Edited.