I used to know a f ESFj - m ISTp couple very well.

They stayed together for some 10 years, but with many episodes where the ISTp left and then came back, to the ESFj's bewilderment. In a dynamic typical of relationships of supervision, the ISTp complained about her "nagging" and the ESFj had no idea of what was going on.

They got together, and remained together, due to lots of common interests, mutual attraction, and very close geographical proximity - that is, precisely the kind of relationship that, in non-Socionics terms, "had" to work. Only it didn't. The ISTp felt criticised and nagged by her, yet felt sort of guilty for feeling that, since he sort of realized that it wasn't her intention.

It is a very similar dynamic to a f ESTj - m ISFp couple I also knew. In fact, exactly the same things happened.