.
.
Last edited by Done; 02-10-2023 at 05:20 PM.
ILE can make offensive jokes and not see why it hurt somebody, not know why it was wrong to say, just be completely confused and won't apologize, irreverent, act like they don't care, they don't want limits on what is ok and not ok to say, they don't want to be bothered with trying to figure that out, just "I said what I said stop being butthurt" even if they make fun of dead family members sometimes.
Also if you stop talking to ILE for awhile because of that they don't do like your SLE friend and keep bugging you to find out what's wrong, they look afraid like you hate them, they are silent, scared if the next thing they say to you will reveal that you actually hate them. So either they say WHATEVER they think or they say nothing at all, not much inbetween.
SLE, not too sure, but there was one time me and my SLE friend were play wrestling, he went to far and started choking me out and I couldn't breathe, I tapped out and said "Hey man that was too hard!". Instead of apologizing, he felt annoyed that I accused him of doing something wrong and didn't want the responsibility of figuring out why it was wrong so he just yelled back " WHAAAAAAT?! IT WASN'T THAT BAD!" like an angry teenager yelling at his mom, but he doesn't realize he wasn't the one getting choked, I was, so how can he tell me what I felt, I couldn't breathe.
ILE does this too, alot actually. Can't tell you how many times a couple of ILEs I know have done this to me and this is the thing that has pissed me off more than any other type. And I'm talking about they've said some super fucked up things to me, things that should have lost a tooth for.
I had a whole topic on here about exactly that with my ILE roommate and an ILE friend. They both pissed me off more than anybody else I know. And not just me.Would be interesting if someone could share stories about ILE being offensive and mean.
Yup.
This makes alot of snse for Fi PoLR, because this is exactly what my ILE roommate does. I have found the answer to deal with him though and it has worked with him an another ILE I know, and now he stops doing this.
Like yeah not really caring what something mean to someone will just voice whatever their mind came up with and thoughts needed to be shared cause it was interesting to them.
Since I'm EII I have supervision ITR with ILE, and much of the time the supervision is ILE saying something they shouldn't have or doing something I thought was unfair or even physically hitting me(which happened alot) and me getting mad. Yelling back, telling them what they did was wrong, or even trying to get them back to see how it feels to do what they did to me has never ever worked, it just fuels the fire, they LOVE the reaction they get, good/bad doesn't matter, as long as it's a big reaction it excites them and that's pissed me off to no end(I punched an ILE in the back of the head thinking that would put an end to his shit and he still didn't get it and kept f*cking with me days later).
With my first ILE friend he was too much, he acted like a f*cking child and pissed me off and our other friends, like he existed to annoy people, not before you were friends of course, to new people he was nice, but once he saw you as a friend boom it's on, throwing shit at you, hitting you, using sensitive info against you, the works. I got so exhausted being around him I just started avoiding him. And guess what happened, after about 3 weeks of avoiding him he started "behaving", he almost acted scared to piss me off in anyway when he was around me, he even sounded nervous talking to me like I would "abandon" him again. I was conflicted at first because, yay finally he respects my boundaries but it's unfortunate I have to treat him like this to get what I want instead of behaving like a normal person. This worked over me punching him in the back of the f*cking head.
My 2nd ILE friend, sameshit, pissed me off to no end because he would use sensitive things to cut me deep, had a slapping-me-in-the-face phase, slapping him back just caused it to keep going back and forth, and he did all this all for his pleasure, just for a laugh, so I gave him the silent treatment, and whatta ya know he also started "behaving", no more offensive jokes no more trolling hitting nada, when he talked to me I could tell he felt nervous also, like he had to watch what he said or I was gone again. With him I've had 2 do it a number of times and it's worked over and over again, its like I have to nuke our friendship for a couple weeks before we get comfortable talking again because he does stuff that just pushes me away.
I've also seen ILE make jokes that aren't hurtful on a universal level but did end up hurting the person simply because the ILE could not tell how much value the person placed on whatever the ILE is joking about.
Last edited by Lord Pixel; 05-16-2022 at 09:18 AM.
With both types, it's mostly them going against social norms in many ways, and with ILE-Ti often being totally random. But some LSI-Se are like that (random like the ILE-Ti, and going against social norms and making jokes some people find offensive like ILE-Ti and SLE-Ti do). Donald Trump's Fi-PoLR was obvious and his behaviors resulting from that are why he lost re-election.
It's usually not a big deal for me, except for when ILE-Ti do certain things as sharp surprises; ILE-Ti are not for people who care at all about predictability... I do sometimes and even then ILE-Ti often tend to be too random for me (I've found that LSI-Se and ILE-Ti are the most random and unpredictable types; LSI-Se are fine with unpredictability and randomness in return, but ILE-Ti complain when someone is as unpredictable or random as they are). SLE-Ti tend to be more predictable with their Fi-PoLR, whereas ILE-Ti are less predictable, much more random and care less if there are consequences to it. Donald Trump was an exception, he was an unpredictable SLE-Ti who didn't care about possible consequences.
I'm sorry, but I'm psychologically disturbed.
I'm glad I'm not the only one, because for awhile I blamed myself for not having thick enough skin, but when I saw that this irritates other people too, probably to a lesser degree, I started to see that this isn't a me thing but an issue that those 2 had.
I will say I do know other ILEs, not around my age, and I haven't had much issue with them, but it seems with the 7w8 variant this rough play is more common.Yeah i think factors other than socionics affect this z good amount .
I haven't actually noticed this. Can you elaborate?
When they go off and do something else all of a sudden without telling you what it is. Oftentimes it's just something they wanna get over with so they can go back to hanging out with you and have piece of mind but god.. communication is a thing.But how do ILE annoy some of you exactly?
I actually enjoy how Fi PoLRs can banter without holding back. Sometimes it hurts but it's easy for me to get over it as it feels so not-personal and non-judgemental coming from them. I think they can be cruel which is why the equally cruel Fi demo type (in their own way) is their dual =)
I have this one physical insecurity, and I told my boyfriend after some prodding, and it turns out that this is now his favorite ammunition when he makes fun of me. I don't know how to describe it, I should be mad and insulted, and on the outside I act like it jokingly, but in reality on the inside i'm actually super happy he says it. it's half purely loving cruel banter and another half that him mentioning it, but in the so non-judgemental and matter-of-fact way that Fi PoLRs do, makes me feel like hey it's not a big deal actually..
I know three ILEs and they don't act like this. They will, however, attack your intellect.
I know some young SLEs who act how you described.
One of the ILEs studies Jungian psychology.
See MU4, and Xerx. I doubt they act like that...there's other ILEs on the forum who don't act like that either. I just can't remember their names.
Last edited by chriscorey; 05-19-2022 at 11:29 AM.
Man grows used to everything, the scoundrel!
-Raskolnikov
Unhealthy SLE: Untrustworthy, sadistic. Better sense of boundaries but will flout them regardless to provoke/humiliate someone, get what they want or if they consider you weak or beneath them
Unhealthy ILE: Annoying, disrespectful, creepy
Last edited by Averroes; 05-19-2022 at 07:12 PM.
I think you already figured it out. ILE too trusting, SLE not trusting enough.
My ILE friend will give anybody a ride- I don't know how he does it. It's not even that he's 'nice' - he's not nice socially that much, he's an arrogant jerk-as a logical thinking type str8 man, he's aware of his own jerkiness. I notice ILEs will do this a lot - both male and female. They will be like 'I know I can be a jerk.' SLEs otoh seem more genuinely aloof/more unaware of their own jerkiness?
ILEs are Paladins, and SLEs are Warriors. Hehe.
EII: He shot puts infants your honor. Infants. *concerned EII voice, all break-y and trembly* A-and he did it while laughing about it. He ENJOYED IT. He's sick. He's... a monster. We as Deltas must do this something about this in society. We must take action and hold the perpetrator accountable.
LSE judge listens and gasps with mouth-wide-open in disgust.
LSE Judge: I hereby sentence all Fe valuers, to DEATH! *pounds gavel*
ILI to LSE: It was just a joke...
LSE: (feels embarrassed and supervised) Oh.... ahem. Well... *red-face* He still MIGHT could have done it! Respect the Ne! Uh- I will appeal, and change the sentence to 2 hours community service inst-
Too late!
=(
IEI bard, dressed as an Oompa Loompa:
~ and that's why Deltas can't have too much power
And that's why Deltas should read more between the lines
And that's why Deltas can't have too much power
Too much holier-than-thou is like an infected bramble twine ~
Maybe he is SX blind?
Especially SO/SP we have a thing where we almost become so/sx in how beckoning we become, but then suddenly the need to go 180 and recollect ourselves swings in. The thing with spending time with someone and then still feeling like a stranger the next time is another thing very common to the SX blind experience.
Back to socionics, here is an anecdote, make of it what you will.. when we were first getting to know each other it was in the context of a third friend that he had actually known for longer than me; I was the newbie. Then she got upset because he had basically once again shown how much more he cared about me than about her, but this time in a major way. keep in mind this was within 2 weeks of knowing each other. i had actually called him a week prior out of the blue to warn him to be more careful with his friendship with her, and that's when i learned that he honestly didn't care much about their friendship and it really shook me. because they hung out a lot? i think Fi PoLRs need to be taught a little to value these things. but anyway, back to the argument, this was before i had had much influence on him yet and i made it so the 3 of us had a talk and the whole time he was trying to simply clear my name even if it meant burning a bridge with her. which i sort of sensed and i got pretty upset at him afterwards, also out of some loyalty to her. they need to be explained over and over again by a nagging Fi demo to put in effort in relationships.
i'm not saying your friend doesn't care about you, it's also that a lot of the time they kinda have a warped view of relationships and therefore their view of what goes into one, how one acts can also be warped. time and time again i see him acting in a weird way and i pull him aside and he gives this explanation that's totally disconnected with reality and i have to explain that that's not actually how human dynamics work or that he should probably be doing something differently.
sorry my post is super disjunct, it's too late tonight for me to spend time editing this
" ILE does not feel well interpersonal distances i.e. how close or far he is with someone."
yeah, from my POV and the other girl's and any other outsider, they were solid friends, yet from his POV for some reason she was just this person he happened to be spending a lot of time with recently (???) jarring when i discovered this. actually, yeah now that i remember, i remember thinking to myself, so this is what Fi PoLR really is like. it's that bad, huh. the disconnect.
however, what you wrote in the first paragraph is not something i've experienced. actually, scratch that. i have a close ILE female friend (whose presentation of Fi PoLR is much different) and sometimes her judgement gets really off and she, who is normally very expressive kind and bubbly, 180's and gets very serious, cold, stern, insistent. but what i've found is that it's often that the accidental delivery is simply not aligned with her actual emotion.
also, if she was actually upset, it's often also a cause of other things and not the person in particular or also an amalgamation of small things. ILEs just arent that sensitive to what a person did, theyre not like a Fi base who gets insulted so easily lol. chances are it has nothing to do with you and maybe they just got pissy cause their muscles hurt and it's finally really getting to them , and there was no Si base to tell them why they feel uncomfortable and also to not to sleep in that weird contorted position they sleep in every night.
https://youtu.be/2vwYkz3mLWo
I think this sets a good example of the difference between PoLR Fi in both types. Frank SLE vs the Raped ILE. The raped doesn't know how to end the conversation or interaction, nor how to keep him at distance (something his ESI friend did when Frank acted rude towards her) until later and keeps getting poked by Frank who is unbothered by everything he throws into him. Which admittedly it is harmless given the childish nature of ILEs
My SLE brother will fuck with you and doesn't care about you feelings.
I won't fuck with you unless you're being illogical.
Man grows used to everything, the scoundrel!
-Raskolnikov
im assuming u probably think they have no right to be upset about what ur doing. when u talk down on someone even if ur not maliciously intended when they are in a bad mental state u are making it worse bc in a bad mental state ppl are suggestible. u are trying to force them out of their thoughts or problems in that sense knock them out of reality. disturbing their mental state would make them low functioning. u force the person to stop thinking and feeling, to forget everything, and to act the way you want them to. u force someone to dissassociate from their feelings and thinking (intuition) they become aggressive impulsive and forceful like yourself but u will claim ur just fine except if everyone treated u like u treated them ud go insane and the world would be a constant war.
https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
Jesus is King stops black magic and closes portals
self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective
Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
I want to care
if I was better I’d help you
if I was better you’d be better
Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1
The affect also depends on the enneagram type. ILE 5 can be aloof and haut arrogant, ILE 8 can be emotional and jerkish. SLE 3 can be bitchy whereas SLE 8 can be callously mocking. Overall I've met more nice ILEs than SLEs. Ne + Ti is a combination that can lead to a very principled personality. Se is more neutral.
(IME)