Do you believe if you were abused you should talk about it in public?

[sea nymph]

Abuse is talked about more now than ever. Especially with the age of dialup being over. Lol

With that being said, I can only see talking about it being more and more normalized as time goes on, especially with influencers and whatnot making it kind of a “trend” now. Sure, some of it might seem like attention seeking, but it’s good if it’s letting others feel more comfortable about opening up. The more people talk about their experiences, the more awareness/reformation it will bring to the community.

And yeah, everyone heals at their own pace, in their own way, which is totally fine. It’s also fine if one chooses not to ever talk about it, because alas— their story, not ours. It cannot be denied however that the taboo of talking about such subjects will eventually disappear, slowly but surely over time, thankfully.

[Ibreen]

This might be a dumb and bad place to ask this question, but why does being pitied bother you (and people in general, do you think)?

Because I feel like the alternative is just someone not understanding and not sympathizing with your plight at all, which is much worse isn’t it?

Because it makes me feel weak. The alternative is not talking about it.

[lookin4waifu]

Because it makes me feel weak. The alternative is not talking about it.

Do you think that people who pity you think that you are weak?

[Ibreen]

Do you think that people who pity you think that you are weak?

Yes. You feel pity towards an injured kitten, not an injured lion

[lookin4waifu]

Yes. You feel pity towards an injured kitten, not an injured lion

I see what you mean with that, and it makes sense. I guess though that people aren’t kittens and lions, we’re all people and we have much more fundamental similarity than kittens vs. lions. People tend to have a core of strength in them and a particular passing situation usually can’t take that away. If someone is pitying you that much I’d wager it’s because they don’t fully understand that, the situation, and/or you.

[Ibreen]

I see what you mean with that, and it makes sense. I guess though that people aren’t kittens and lions, we’re all people and we have much more fundamental similarity than kittens vs. lions. People tend to have a core of strength in them and a particular passing situation usually can’t take that away. If someone is pitying you that much I’d wager it’s because they don’t fully understand that, the situation, and/or you.

You type as LII?

[lookin4waifu]

You type as LII?

ILI for now but I’m open to if you want to DM about it

[Ibreen]

ILI for now but I’m open to if you want to DM about it

Hm? No. I don’t DM anyone

the way you write a paragraph sounds polr Se, you talk without saying anything at all. And you sound as smooth as an LII.

in other words, don’t try me

[lookin4waifu]

Hm? No. I don’t DM anyone

the way you write a paragraph sounds polr Se, you talk without saying anything at all. And you sound as smooth as an LII.

in other words, don’t try me

I have a big pile of noods waiting to be VI’d, such a shame

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

It's a personal choice. There is not one “right” or “wrong” way that one “should” or “should not” do. There are only healthy or unhealthy motives.

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

Yes. You feel pity towards an injured kitten, not an injured lion

Respectfully, different people react in different ways. Personally, I have empathy for both, and pity for neither.

Alternatively, it can be seen as weak to be unable to talk about it comfortably. It's really just a matter of subjective opinion. The only wrong is in assuming and accusing someone of something (such as being weak) without having evidence. Speaking out is actually the only way to counter this stigma. However, most people assume that having gone through a lot of shit means you are a strong person. (That is not necessarily true, either.)

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

Do you think that people who pity you think that you are weak?

Pity entails looking down on someone, so by definition, yes. Sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity...these words all mean different things.

[adage]

It really depends on people.

Some need to expose it to the public to give it enough substance to rip it off.
Some are still living in abuse and it became their whole life, so if they talk about their life they talk about abuse.
Some turn in circle repeating the same stuff endlessly and nothing ever happens.
Some feel too ashamed to speak up and would grow by daring to do it.
Some are pushed by peers and may not want to go public but do it to fit in.
Some don't know how else to deal with it beside go public because it is all they know.
Some want to talk but have nothing to talk about beside trauma.
That's just a few reasons to go public I could think of, and not all of them are great and help in healing.

It's a complexe issue since a good reason can turn into a bad one, and vice versa, and the person might fail to notice, but hey, gotta learn some way or another.

[lookin4waifu]

It really depends on people.

Some need to expose it to the public to give it enough substance to rip it off.
Some are still living in abuse and it became their whole life, so if they talk about their life they talk about abuse.
Some turn in circle repeating the same stuff endlessly and nothing ever happens.
Some feel too ashamed to speak up and would grow by daring to do it.
Some are pushed by peers and may not want to go public but do it to fit in.
Some don't know how else to deal with it beside go public because it is all they know.
Some want to talk but have nothing to talk about beside trauma.
That's just a few reasons to go public I could think of, and not all of them are great and help in healing.

It's a complexe issue since a good reason can turn into a bad one, and vice versa, and the person might fail to notice, but hey, gotta learn some way or another.

Some hide it to give it enough substance too

[RBRS]

It isn't the best idea to share such a thing on a public forum, specially because you can be sued for defamation, and if you lack proof of the abuse the proper thing to do is to trust the "abuser".

Ideally you should share it with a trustee, but a trustee can be trusted due to poor judgement and use such sensible information to extort you, threaten you, humilliate or laugh at you etc.

Optimally you should open that up with a psychologist or a priest, if anything.

[Ave]

I think it's up to the person, but I also don't think anyone should feel like this is some kind of civic duty. I also notice people publically revealing/claiming they had been abused on social media, the media, etc (beyond the scope of this forum), and while I suppose people are free to do what they want, people don't "owe" anyone these accounts either. I think some people do it to warn others, when they have been abused, some do it to defame (whether or not they have been abused), others to break silence (which is healthy to do) so I could see the value in it but I also don't think it should be an obligation.

[Metamorph]

I think everyone is abused, if you consider things like verbal abuse and the like. You don't need to go tell that on the mountain. In fact, it's probably counterproductive. I think you just tell people who it would be relevant that someone said or did something mean to you to, or who might have groped you or whatever, just tell who can care. Not everyone can care every time someone does something mean or bad even if they want to, sadly, and I still don't have a high opinion of the average person, who I think would probably like to bring everyone down on some level. The lowest common denominator of humankind is literally zero.

[Vex]

Honestly it’s fine if people want to talk about it but they need to be mindful of /triggering/ content bc it may remind others of their own abuse. Though they should be mindful that not everyone wants to hear that. After all, many people have been abused, but not everyone should be expected to speak out about their abuse, and this is one of my biggest peeves in fandoms and communities who are so entitled that they just expect famous people to be open about everything they’ve been through.

What I loathe though is people who rant about their abuse all the time like some angry Karen or SJW scum screaming about how this “reminds them of their abuse” and “you’re just like my abuser” bullshit because you like, denied them a cheez it or something trivial like that. Really fucking kills the mood.


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