So I'm just gonna pour my heart out here for a moment, excuse me.

Some time ago I read a description of the EII personality type that said we aren't really creative people. I don't usually mind what others say about me but somehow that phrase really got stuck in my head, I guess it's because I just think socionics is an accurate and interesting theory overall. Anyway, lately it has become awfully difficult for me to sit down and work on my creative projects and it's really, really frustrating.

Every time I even think about sitting down to paint/write/play piano/whatever I get so anxious I basically freeze. It's like I can't justify myself doing anything artistic or even putting my thoughts on a paper. I keep thinking "Oh, painting and music are Se things. I shouldn't do them, I'm not good at them, they don't come naturally to me. I'm just trying to be something I'm not, how fake. And what if I make art and express myself, wouldn't that be uncharacteristic of me? Am I not the quiet, modest and reserved type? EIIs are quiet, modest and reserved. What if making art makes me frivolous? I don't want to be frivolous. What if I one day fall in love with an LSE and he finds out about my hobbies and finds them off-putting?"

Now mind you, I've been a fairly confident person all my life, and I'm somewhat aware that my thoughts are probably a little irrational here. But still, as of now they do feel very real and, well, insuperable. I don't know many people IRL who know about socionics so I thought I should try asking here. Does anybody have any advice on how to go about this/has anyone struggled with something similar?