EXACTLY what they ought not to say. To break the abuser's hold over you you must
never address the issues they bring up. Instead, address
them. Don't
defend yourself for the very act legitimizes their accusations. Instead, ask
them a relevant question pertaining to them. For instance, if someone calls you a racist or something you clearly aren't ask them "Have you always had a problem with convicting people of something they're not guilty of?" and/or "Have you always had a problem with lying to people?" over trying to prove to them how you're totally not a racist or whatnot. Put the focus on
them instead of yourself. They want the focus to be on you so they can assert control over you. NO! Fuck em'! Put the focus on
them so
you get to assert control over them! Watch with glee as they recoil in pain and horror at the fact you've figured them out and they have no way of countering it in any way that matters spiritually.
Hell, in an abusive relationship the circle of lies is essentially complete. You know (if you're smart) that they're lying about/to you, and they know you know they're lying, but hey, if they can force you to labor under that false assertion and to act as though it's true anyway then hell, what does that fact matter? Outcome's still the same as they want so what's it matter that you know they're lying about you? The enemy is demonic and operates under demon logic. The "conservatives" don't get this because they too don't like the implications and obligations God's existence entails. Like I've said elsewhere they don't really oppose the liberals in any way that truly matters. Their morality is the same, but the conservatives only disagree on what, to both of them, are superficial matters (e.g. whether or not children should be involved in Pride parades or if the age of consent ought to be 18 instead of 14).
If demons are real, so is God. If God is real, well, that means quite a lot more...