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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    Default this guy

    it makes sense for me to come here to talk about a guy because that's all i ever really talk about when I'm online and free to talk about anything

    just had a hopeful first date. I was getting used to horror stories and I'm so happy. I'm sleepy but

    - typology came up but he said he always scores different so doesn't take it too seriously

    - he goes on Te explaining tangents that he chalks up to his "adhd rabbit holes"

    - laughs about how he never was properly categorized as a troublemaker as a youth because everybody seems to like him for some reason and that's extremely believable

    - loves to travel and i think he has more awesome stories than anyone I've ever met after meeting him once

    - we originally planned for Friday but he texted nonstop in a way that didn't feel anxious and then was like hey would it be off-putting if i asked to meet up early, tonight?

    i could probably squeeze more out of my brain if anybody cares, but it's late. I'll have more to say after Friday too
    feeling good about duality after reading this back on paper but it didn't feel magical, exactly? just. yes. okay. this is good <3

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    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
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    I pray you have found your long-sought after dual. Lemme know if you find mine lol
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
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    Honestly I would just put typology on the back burning and flow with any experiences that come up and be as authentic as possi le. It works or it does not. It's that simple.

    But yeah I crush as well and want to see where things are headed.

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I pray you have found your long-sought after dual. Lemme know if you find mine lol
    my brother is in prison. those wacky SLEs

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    my brother is in prison. those wacky SLEs

    After age 40, they generally settle down. Usually.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    @ashlesha, you didn't ask, but

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    it makes sense for me to come here to talk about a guy because that's all i ever really talk about when I'm online and free to talk about anything

    just had a hopeful first date. I was getting used to horror stories and I'm so happy. I'm sleepy but

    - typology came up but he said he always scores different so doesn't take it too seriously
    Scoring like every type is IEI. Even knowing about typology in the general population leans IEI.

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    - he goes on Te explaining tangents that he chalks up to his "adhd rabbit holes"
    This could be LIE. I go on tangents all the time in speech, but then loop back to my original point. I chalk it up to high Ne but valued Ni.

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    - laughs about how he never was properly categorized as a troublemaker as a youth because everybody seems to like him for some reason and that's extremely believable
    I know of exactly no LIEs who were troublemakers as youths, or who were universally liked.
    I did have an IEI HS buddy who stole dynamite from a construction site and spent the summer blowing holes in the local golf course.

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    - loves to travel and i think he has more awesome stories than anyone I've ever met after meeting him once
    Travel is IEI and SLE and LIE. Stories are the same, plus ESE.

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    - we originally planned for Friday but he texted nonstop in a way that didn't feel anxious and then was like hey would it be off-putting if i asked to meet up early, tonight?
    I can text a lot, but this somehow feels IEI. Ni Time pressure. In no hurry, then in a hurry. Like an SLE with Se space pressure, who stands far away, then moves well within your space.

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    i could probably squeeze more out of my brain if anybody cares, but it's late. I'll have more to say after Friday too
    feeling good about duality after reading this back on paper but it didn't feel magical, exactly? just. yes. okay. this is good <3
    I've never experienced Duality as Magical. Comfortable, yes. Desirable, yes. Wanting to never give it up, yes. Fireworks, no.

    Good luck! I hope you have a good one here.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 11-04-2021 at 03:40 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    my brother is in prison. those wacky SLEs
    Tell him to get outta there.

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    The Morning Star EUDAEMONIUM's Avatar
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    This is confusing
    The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.

    The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    thinking I'm seeing Te/Fi in the way he's point blank about like,,,, ie. texting me to say "I'm not great at eye contact while i speak and i noticed that last night and i hope it wasn't uncomfortable"
    an Fe type would say something about how they like dogs and hope i got the point because they wouldn't want to be so inelegant. luv u Fe fukrs

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    he has a positive reaction to my instinct to take charge of situations. it's a relief. he says he's used to having to do it himself, so there's a really nice confluence of him going with what i want when i start laying it down without thinking about it, and aggressively picking up the slack when i don't want to be bothered with the effort. can that be Ni cre

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    @Adam Strange i did ask i just assumed the question was implicit. LIE is loosely hanging wishful thinking, that's all

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    thinking I'm seeing Te/Fi in the way he's point blank about like,,,, ie. texting me to say "I'm not great at eye contact while i speak and i noticed that last night and i hope it wasn't uncomfortable"
    an Fe type would say something about how they like dogs and hope i got the point because they wouldn't want to be so inelegant. luv u Fe fukrs

    I'm hopeful for you, but I can't imagine an LIE saying any of that. Nevertheless, he seems like an OK guy.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    @Adam Strange i did ask i just assumed the question was implicit. LIE is loosely hanging wishful thinking, that's all

    OK, thanks, @ashlesha. I don't need to be any more of an asshole than I already am.

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'm hopeful for you, but I can't imagine an LIE saying any of that. Nevertheless, he seems like an OK guy.
    this does have me thinking. maybe an LIE would be less likely to notice something like that in the first place. and he does seem to have A+ psychological awareness. I'm obviously biased but he presents with confidence about it and everything

    not just that kind of knowledge though. he would have been rushed into a nuclear physics career in the Navy when he was 17 if he hadn't been misdiagnosed with asthma

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    this does have me thinking. maybe an LIE would be less likely to notice something like that in the first place. and he does seem to have A+ psychological awareness. I'm obviously biased but he presents with confidence about it and everything
    Bingo. I mean, "I hope my lack of eye contact doesn't make you uncomfortable?" WTF? Honest to god, I've never had that string of words pass through my brain in my life. I'm more likely to say "I hope you don't mind me being so active in bed last night" (because I want to do it again and I'm just making sure you're OK with that).

    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    not just that kind of knowledge though. he would have been rushed into a nuclear physics career in the Navy when he was 17 if he hadn't been misdiagnosed with asthma
    I dated an IEI-Fe whose mother forced her into getting a PhD in Astronomy. She is miserable in that profession. She should have been an actress, because she idolized Meryl Streep. She kind of channeled Streep, too.

    She clearly should have used her acting talents to fake asthma.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 11-04-2021 at 05:19 PM.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Listen, @ashlesha. Your man-radar is miscalibrated towards the Beta Quadrant. If you want to know what to look for in an LIE, look for a guy like CP, except he's less funny and better with people and more extroverted and less cynical and he feels like "nothing" to you, except you two seem to be able to effortlessly work together.

    He's also not going to be psychologically smooth. He's going to be kind of edgy and you probably won't feel a deep psychological connection but you might get along without any conflict whatsoever.

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    i gave an inch and you took a mile hahaha

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    i gave an inch and you took a mile hahaha

    I'm just being my usual insensitive jerk self.

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    i wonder if the common denominator underlying racism, sexism etc is that you're unusually bold about imposing yourself because you're intrinsically deserving. i think it's a charming idea in theory, fwiw

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    I think that racism and sexism originate from Fear of the Other, not self-entitlement.

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    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    my brother is in prison. those wacky SLEs
    Ahh so the answer is crime then!
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    this is probably just digging in my belly button with this window open on my phone while i go to see him again. but I've been weird with men lately cuz I'm like i need a serious relationship so they need to know all my shame quickly which is obviously counter productive and yeah uh fuckin weird (i just started therapy remember)
    anyway i don't feel that pressure at all with him, like it'll be fine, whatever. so nice. makes me wanna declare duality lol. (you could try to pin it on the 2 sessions of therapy but probably not). he seems more realistically long term so i don't pull some weird bullshit trying to contort it in a delusional way lol

    it feels natural to date twice in the two days before our first date btw. we'll also be at the same concert Sunday

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    just saw him for the third time and he's almost definitely LIE. wouldn't rule out the possibility of EIE. the eye contact psychology skill stuff is because of his strong "rational" focus (as he puts it)- he researches things of that nature because he finds them personally useful. I'm glad i didn't share pictures because I really like this guy (obviously). I'm not asking any more questions (:

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    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
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    Ni creative is like...

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    I have nothing to add. I am just here for the first meeting phase giddiness. <3
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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