I'll speak from direct experience here. You want a person who wants to find the truth no matter what? Who fully identifies with the phrase "Let Justice be done though the heavens fall?" Look for an ILI. I don't and won't hold back. However, even at my most broken I felt and knew without any citation or evidence (i.e. pure
) that there was/is something utterly
wrong with the world and that even if it cost me all of my sanity and soul I would find out what it was and somehow fling that dying light into the future. I'd find that wrong thing, identify it, categorize it so clearly even a lobotomized retard would do
something in response and (by extension of all that) at least find some what to damage it and if nothing else tell someone else what it was and they, if not myself sadly, would find a way to make that fact count.
It seems you were utterly betrayed in a bad way by an ILI I'd wager. To get backstabbed by your kindred relationship is one hell of a wound I will admit. After all, they weren't
quite like you but they really ought to have "understood" you on a fundamental level. To truly be able to empathize with another, to in some way understand them in such a primal and absolute way... and then stab that knife deep into your back/chest for what seemed to be the enjoyment of it? Verily I say unto you you have experienced a truth. There are demons among us and evil exists in many forms and in all types. Do not fall into despair because you had a close encounter of the Demonic kind.