it's a huge percentage of murdered women that are killed by their partner, at least a
coin toss, so it is a subject of fascination... because i do kinda agree there's a searching for if there's anything she could have done to avoid it? in retrospect it's often (i wanna say usually or almost always) clear if one knows enough about what happened, the signs for murder laid out bare for eyes to see. but it's hard to recognize these configurations in the present though i always believe i would feel the eerie feeling of upcoming death. but so. does. everyone.
it's in a lot of movies as well, i was always fascinated with movies with female murder victims from a young age. it's not my favorite genre or anything as it's not sci-fi/fantasy, but i can see it in all the genres. (and i'm angsty about saying IT'S ALL NARRATIVE bc i just... don't believe that... but it could be because i am against the fiction purity people i want them to leave the fiction alone because it's a supplement to my internal world and i want it dark and disturbing and intense and psychological... i don't want a whole bunch of muppets playing happy families for every movie with kick ass mom and like mousy dad and the banner of STRONG INDEPENDENT FEMALE! BE THIS!)
but this case is intriguing i mean the story of two ppl left, only one returned, immediately is grabbing... the whole mystery of it, and the dramatic story... murder is fascinating bc it's something i don't truly understand... i'm surrounded by murder in media but not in real life despite my own ahem awful household as a child and what happened there. but it's also bc i think BL was this sort of person who i think really abused GL, and it smells so familiar...
i could be wrong, but i think she's EII, and ime with EIIs they usually don't strike someone until they have been really pushed over the edge. it needs to come from Se PoLR in high high distress especially with fears of physical harm against them, or perhaps the fear of their fiance leaving them in the middle of nowhere and driving off in THEIR van (which i can't believe those body language experts below who are like oh BL, controller of her van and her keys and her phone, he's the one who feared being left lol). ahem another sign of Se PoLR is it seems GP didn't block BL from total access to her stuff... i don't know if i think this is 4d Fi (as i would do that too probably if the other person wanted and i trusted them /hides/) and/or 1d Se (not needing the power, which um i don't want the power either) especially unvalued (no great sense of ownership or possessiveness). and i mean she had been living in his family's house, so it also would balance out in one's mind... who knows how helpful that arrangement was to GP and how appreciative she was of it, especially since she was trying to transition income sources. also ime EII don't like to express much Fe so if they are, something is really wrong. any LSE would know - they love how unflappable their duals are, like the duality doesn't work for them without that... when the LSE sees hints of water in their dual's eyes, that's when they really turn on the Fi seeking lol. the EII doesn't have to create a scene. they also have their words, which ime, at least stable EIIs will have found a way to get all the Fe under control by adulthood. like my sister is EII and she keeps it to herself. if she talks about it, it's in a way that Te lead can process lol. i'm not saying she's EII template as i think she is a bit more "cool" than some EII, pretty Fi sub (maximum Fe ignoring).
but anyway it seemed to me BL was on GP's case all the time. she can't do her blog (despite her success so far) he says. he tells her to calm down smugly over and over i think until she gets to the point the smug aggravating superiority that tries to cut at her self-worth, her belief in her own capabilities (her self-esteem), etc. results in a rebellion because she has a sense of self-worth and he is not respecting her (and the Delta NF are wary of anything that feels like Se). he wants her to be his pretty gf who happily follows along the Te itinerary for the day keeping everything calm and uber Si and not making him jealous by being a better influencer than him or more successful than him or being made to feel inferior by her "star power." it aggravates his feelings of being a loser succumbing to his difficulties with the socionics ethics, and without some sort of connection like her it's hard for him not to just live in isolation. many a dysfunctional SLI just wants to live in the middle of nature with no contact with humans or society. but i feel like although BL bonds with nature in the way a certain subset of SLI does, he did want connection with the world, and he probably needed her for that. but i don't understand why he couldn't be okay with that... it's like he could have worked on using his Te more... SLI are great at life-hacks sort of shit and they can make money blogging and youtubing on that i would think... like i'm sure there was a way to solve these feelings of inadequacy... but probably there were other issues... lots of them lol.
anyway GP's friend Rose talked about how controlling BL was and it's like i don't think the delta NF usually have high tolerance for controlling. Fe types are way more likely imo to kinda even like controlling depending /hides/. and healthy delta STs have to learn to NOT be controlling... like when my LSE uncle gets in a controlling mode, his EII wife quickly diffuses it with playful creative Ne, and he's happier for it. he's Fi seeking and has a deep seated fear of being an asshole lol. but i feel like it can be more difficult for SLI. my dad was also SLI. the Fe PoLR is kinda terrible. he could get this facade of optimism and positivity (you can see it on BL's face in pictures), and it's not entirely a lie as SLI is a positivist, but they can't express emotion easily. and this is more true the more poorly adjusted they are. my dad came from a god awful background i would have never survived. my ex is also SLI but he's really well adjusted and knows how to use Fi to create relational boundaries to protect his PoLR, he can use his optimism to find a unconventional solution, go V-S cog (but he's C sub in DCNH which i think helps a great deal). the badly adjusted SLI don't know how to do this. their feelings are locked in their heads building. for my dad they would come out when he was drunk and it was... horrible. it was violent. i could always feel them there beneath that smile, the anger, the violence waiting to happen. and that's why i was always afraid. and he hated Fe and would hit my PoLR constantly. he choked me bc i couldn't find the wire he was pointing to. this is the Te nightmare. it's like the Te is a slavemaster in their heads, and if you can't perform, then just DIE. jk. you could say that's Se... but finding the wire was part of step-by-step process leading to something else and the Te is sensitive to when that is not proceeding efficiently lol. you can see it when BL starts to talk to cops about the day's itinerary, and i'm like, oh, she was upsetting the Itinerary, and she wasn't being all Si relaxed enjoyment while doing it. she won't calm down and get with the program.
unfortunately it doesn't matter what she did "wrong." with my dad i would follow his moods all day long, i could feel them under the Fe PoLR and so could my sister. we both knew it was important to keep those feelings stable because if they weren't he would hurt us all later. but that we thought we had any control over that was just a fantasy because we had no control and the mind doesn't like to accept that it's helpless.
so although BL is softer than my dad was and smaller and less intimidating off the cuff, and he didn't come from a dog-eat-dog nightmare childhood of poverty and no adult support, i can see it. it's there.
and yes in my little experience with dating, would you kill me is a question on my mind.
Originally Posted by Adam Strange
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