Brian Laundrie and Gabby Petito

[marooned]

why does it not matter why, tho

when someone commits suicide it has to do with everything else. suicides are murders. The bullet doesn't kill you, the damage doesn't kill you, the gun doesn't kill you, it's all related and what do we do about it. That's what "why" means. That's why you can ask why forever. It does matter.

it's also often when asking why forever it sometimes doesn't have an answer (although ahem, i don't wanna play into a strawman that i was saying i don't care about the question of why because what i said was within a context). i'll bring up ted bundy again... he's a far more extreme awful murderer (my view is psychopath). when i look at someone like that although their story is in society at every point, the end result has something ted bundy brought to the table himself. everyone still has something that is of them, of their essence, that they bring - the elusive nature of a person. i just am hesitant to say it's all society... i think that society could in a better configuration have way less violent crime than the US does, BUT it will never have none. there is something that is of nature that will arise despite the nurture component (or bc of it but only in a way that was still about their nature -- like how genes can change when people are under different kinds of stress, but the way it changes or if it does won't be the same for everyone).

and actually with brian l though i think some ppl would argue it's all about society and gender norms lol. the narratives in our stories and our culture about how men and women are and how their relationships are. i've seen this argument in books about abusive men and it's that nature doesn't explain it, these narratives they absorb do. and i rejected that opinion for the most part. i can understand the argument, but as soon as it reaches the end conclusion in which it's all narratives and nothing else, my mind is just like, i don't think so...

however, i have wondered about narcissism... i feel there are certain aspects of human nature that are feared so much they are demonized and it's a rare person who will seek help from those who call them demons in like an Fi way. mb there is something to dehumanizing the aspects of humanity one doesn't understand because they are "evil" because it means they can only stay in the shadows, and in the shadows is where things play freely with no awareness watching... to fear the shadows is unwise.

Personal responsibility is part of the many factors. You can't say it's ALL his fault.

wellll i kinda felt you are trying to absolve him of responsibility for something that i feel would be highly in my realm of self-control and it's true i wouldn't trust someone if i thought they might lose their grip and murder me, i would view this as a property of them, and it's like when it's life or death like that... again the thing that matters most to me is avoiding the outcome of murder because that can't be undone and there is no going back. and suicide is slightly different bc the one who is most destroyed is oneself and it happened because one's suffering got so intense they could no longer cope... but i would think ppl could see why harming yourself (though suicide will harm a lot of people outside of oneself too) isn't quite the same thing as "i can't cope, so i must kill YOU" especially when there are so many alternatives. like a lot of people if they start becoming aware of murderous thoughts will go get help bc they don't want those thoughts to become actions. or they will find another outlet. or they will leave a relationship. or they will join a monastery lol.

Judgement the way the system and everyone else is not fair nor appropriate. If there is a mistake there is a problem that needs to be addressed not just hunt him imprison him and pretend you are the good guy.

there's a high probability that someone who does this once is capable of doing it again (i would imagine killing once increases the chances of doing it again in general because the initial hump has been surpassed). i am for rehab but i know it's not an easy or simple thing... however, there are models like restorative justice which i haven't thought are terrible on the surface.

What he did now could be the start of a transformation that would make him the best person ever. Maybe everyone else is worse than him because they pushed their problems on someone else while that doesn't immediately translate into them murdering someone that's what happens in the grand scheme of things. And they will never be accountable for that. People trivialize what's not convenient to take seriously. It's always someone worse than you.

sure but like ppl call this kind of argument what-about-ism. it's like ending another person's entire existence imo is pretty much the worst thing one can do (although of course dropping a nuke on millions of ppl would be much worse). they aren't coming back from that. their entire life was stolen in a way in which they have no chance at all anymore... life is a painful struggle, but a murdered person's right to try has been taken from them... like it's one thing when ppl hurt each other in the awful game of life but they are both still playing; it's another when one person destroys another so they are out of the game entirely.

it's just on one level transformation and transcendence are real, but they aren't easy things to reach--on another level it's kinda like excuses... like it's okay if people just murder each other they could transform later! i like it in a dystopia anarchy fictional universe way though.

It's not pot kettle. Pot kettle is for people who can't differentiate between right and wrong but don't want to be accountable being wrong so they rationalize their inability to discern as if it's wisdom.

pot kettle was in reference to the liberals vs. conservatives debate in which each side says the other side is totally evil, judgmental, and against freedom! etc. etc. when they are both doing the same thing, it's hard to ignore. it bugs me bc i've been caught up in the pettiness of it myself and i don't wanna be petty and i hope one day i succeed.