Originally Posted by
inumbra
i think his behavior makes sense even without drugs now that i've seen more of him... i'm not really mystified anymore by it though i am mystified by his family a bit because i guess i have this need to give them the benefit of the doubt or something... but it sure took them forever to report him missing lol. and yes saying, oh he vanished into one of the most difficult places to search on earth, is a great way to buy him more time. and obviously he was going for the escape the law path anyway since he didn't turn himself in.
but remembering the shock i went through after losing someone close, i remember wandering aimlessly as though changing direction is space changed direction in time. i felt like i was time traveling. my mind couldn't accept it. the shock went on for like a week. i was aimless in mind. i imagine it would be so much worse if someone had killed someone. the horror, the hell, the replaying over and over in your head, the constant traveling back in time as though the outcome will change... i think mb he was trying to come to his senses and form a plan and prioritize but his mind probably wasn't able to do so because it's in collapse (in shock the mind can't put things together). all your ideals, the person you thought you were... all of it makes no sense with what you have done. how can you reconcile your own identity? your purpose? after that? maybe at first in panic he thought in a way he would disappear and leave the van... it took days to come back to his senses enough to decide what to do, and then he returned to the van and drove home. it would also be the only place he could go for a chance to alleviate some of the hell and horror in his mind, a hope for some sense of normalcy in all the insanity.
i feel like the murder happened outside because of the way he uses the van. in the moab incident he was using the van (IMO) to further distress her by being inside it and locking her out of it. i feel like it's outside where they have this space to start hitting each other. inside the van is where the tension builds, outside is where it is released.
i think also Fe polr makes sense for him because his controlling/abusive/whatever behavior would build her distress until she starts acting out emotionally and lead her emotions to get out of control and then he starts panicking. all the Fe! he's just "trying to calm her down." he gets more and more physical and threatening the more he tries - and she feels more and more threatened so her emotions get even worse and she actually strikes him. and in a fight he has the upper hand and if he can't turn off the Fe, push her harder, hit her harder.
Veryy good.
Reply With Quote
but a lot of it does
