ILI narcissism and learning to get along

[rtht]

Btw I forgot to mention this @rtht but when I like the people I'm around with and have spent time with them for a considerable amount of time, I'm okay socially. What I consider as polr hits would be these as example:
1. I became close to all of my dormmates when I was in college, everyone talks to me while some of them don't even talk to each other. However when someone had a birthday party, of course we had to join in. I was about to eat silently after getting my food and one of my dormmates said, "Hey, is there something wrong? Why are you so silent?" Everyone was also surprised about it - they expected me, the one close to everyone, would pull the weight socially and do the hosting to make everyone engaged. I felt uncomfortable and lost because I didn't even know I was supposed to do it.
2. At work I was very frustrated about some of the policies and so my boss and I would always have a meeting for me to discuss my opinions. It was quite a tense situation and everyone doesn't like his policies as well but people kept mum about it and would just joke at his back. Then during a team meeting a SEI coworker said that everyone was kind in a sense that no one talks against the management, except for me. Then she just said that sometimes it's good though. (I got very sad by this lol not sure if this whole situation is clear to you).
3. I always give an excuse when my friends want to visit, and if an unexpected guest would come I don't know what to do.

Number one makes sense, although it seemed like a bit of a group ITR issue also...I think if there was someone more extroverted/high Fe around, then they could have got things going, and then you wouldn't have had to do as much/ppl wouldn't have looked to you.... I guess that's where its handy to have your dual (or similar) around to do the thing that you don't want to do/don't think to do....

I think ppl have to appreciate the person that speaks up against work stuff.... not everyone will say anything, but regardless of socionics values, no one wants to deal with bs/shitty work situations, so I think ppl will appreciate the outcomes of someone speaking up at work, whether they verbalise it or not

Yeah 3 makes sense.... what if you ask them to suggest/take the lead on stuff for you do when they visit?