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Thread: PoLR assistance dependence

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    chocolatte's Avatar
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    Default PoLR assistance dependence

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    Last edited by chocolatte; 09-09-2021 at 01:39 PM. Reason: deleted for privacy before anyone quotes !

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    in the arms of false mother inumbra's Avatar
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    i wish everyone was Ti creative lol

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    chocolatte's Avatar
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    I always found it obvious how a Fi PoLR could come to be very dependent and vulnerable towards a Fi demo type, kind of at their hands, but never really understood how it might happen for Te, since Te has no emotional aspect to it. Now i understand it, for better or for worse lol... I just never realized how much practical assistance I really could use and only recently how much stress Te brings me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I always found it obvious how a Fi PoLR could come to be very dependent and vulnerable towards a Fi demo type, kind of at their hands, but never really understood how it might happen for Te, since Te has no emotional aspect to it. Now i understand it, for better or for worse lol... I just never realized how much practical assistance I really could use and only recently how much stress Te brings me.
    How would you like practical assistance?

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    Hmmm you’re really young? Maybe go for it haha. As long as he’s respectful/ a nice person? And you have a support network around you if it fails..also you have the forum for getting advice too Illusionary seems like a nice combo of romantic and practical..not so bad for a young IEI

    I’ll let other people help you with actual advice regarding ILE..I have a new ILE friend but not much experience other than that. I’ve had an SEE bestie before and that was great..romantic even for a friendship and semi-duals are the same level of compatible as illusionary? I think illusionary could even be more romantic.
    Last edited by Bethany; 09-08-2021 at 09:11 AM.

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    BandD's Avatar
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    Yeah I have a ILE friend who is like a big kid. Well so am I, that's why we're friends- but with him it's more in the extroverted obvious way.

    It's not uncommon for Illusionary relationships to have some not-so-secret dislike/bitchiness and conflict bubbling underneathe the surface. You are also overly idealizing the 4D Te demo imo - it feels good in many cases, but the Te still doesn't care about you and even though it's demonstrative and not ego- the four dimensionality of any Te will still at times greatly hurt your feelings. If annoyed or stressed enough, ILE has enough 4D Te power + Fi polr to push away whoever they please and that includes you.

    Likewise, he probably sticks around and helps you too much with things because your demo 4D Fi is also hitting his PoLR in a strange way- and he's doing it out of a sense of guilt instead of teaching you how to do things more for yourself. I think I also manipulate my ILE friend this way- I can easily make him 'feel sorry for me' with my IEI cuteness and have him do it for me - when it would be much healthier for him to teach me how to do it and if I refuse to do it out of classic IEI victimness - leave me alone until I do it myself.

    Like you said you're also not improving yourself enough because of his assistance- so what would happen if he suddenly died or left for whatever reason? Not good - but quite common in everybody when the PoLR function is overly protected. I think maybe try to develop yourself quietly when others are not around- if you are afraid of being judged with Te crap. I like to do things like use my Ni to go to places at a time when they will be less busy if possible so I have time to concentrate and I don't get overwhelmed. Also pain is growth. It's wonderful to have your PoLR tanked- but don't rely on it too much, because the pain of polr hits also toughens you up and makes you stronger I think. As long as it's not too excessive.

    Also it may sound 'backwards' ((heh pesky Te is so counter-intuitive at times)) but I've noticed ILEs will listen to me more if I "bully" them a bit and I act more aggressive- even though IEIs often wish ILEs would do this- if you do it yourself I find they often respond well to it because they see your caring and Te-fragile heart behind the bravado. You are becoming more like a faux-Caregiver like their duals and I think they respond well to it.

    I mean look at this way- Beta is supposed to improve Alpha- so it doesn't make too much sense to get too annoyed by him- as you are supposed to improve him the way Gammas are supposed to improve us. Maybe you feel like you can't do this as much as I can though because of your age and you're female- but it's always a good idea to have some assertiveness with people even if ur a cute lil victimy IEI.

    and yeah, I think you should just be friends. When a hot SLE boy comes along- you will remember what you really like and it will be like 'Whoa.'

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    Moharu's Avatar
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    Alpha's Te and Beta Te's are different? I remember these functions can have "+", "-". Maybe because you guy don't use the same Te Ti.

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    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
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    I feel like I listen to Si types and mimic their opinions on Si-related matters and feel like I'm smart for doing so.

    I don't want to argue about the actual types of the characters but this interaction reminds me of interacting with SLIs lol.

    "I'ma rock the boat
    Work the middle 'til it hurt a little" - Kanye West
    ENFJ | EIE-Fe | WELP | 3w4 sx/so


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    16 TYPE'S RESIDENT FIXER DEAD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post

    and yeah, I think you should just be friends. When a hot SLE boy comes along- you will remember what you really like and it will be like 'Whoa.'

    That's exactly what I said to her last night.

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    @chocolatteBecoming more open to your PoLR is important. I personally have always tried to be open to Ne (I don't block out information, and throughout my life, I've just lived by the principle that anything is possible and made use of resources around it in case I made a mistake, maybe it has to do with my mental illness), I try to value it (because I've seen how intelligent ILE-Ti are and that their Ne ideas usually become a reality) even though I'm not great at thinking of possibilities myself. Remember, their Te can serve other functions you might like or enjoy.

    But some ILE-Ti really don't have much problem with Fi, just like I don't have much problem with +Ne or -Ne, and even enjoy +Ne or -Ne especially when used with Ti or Te or Si or beautiful Se (sexy internal drive) or Good Fe or Good Fi or beautiful Ni.

    Many IEI-Ni are particularly averse to expressed facts, whereas I consider them and look out for them and value them, I don't usually dismiss unusual things as absurd or unrealistic (I prefer the unusual, the lesser known, originality, and the rare), deep down I don't really know 100%/not 100% certain with most things and sometimes I change my mind when new information comes or when I'm offered something beneficial for me.
    I'm not only emotionally and psychologically disturbed, I'm also QueeferSutherlandJeffersonianSecessionist87@sucksd ick.com


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