I'm a 146 sx/sp
My body fix is one because I'm always finding errors and things that could be improved. I'm usually not moralistic in the traditional sense (e.g., "the terrorists harmed our country, the military must go after them!", "it was murder they must pay", "it's civic duty to vote", "my country right or wrong"... those things piss me off, I do the things more because it's what I want than for anyone who hasn't done something I enjoyed), but I am concerned with my own behavioral standards (especially the need for females to not feel ashamed farting, although some will no matter what).
1 because I care about humankind (although at the same time foreign intervention is harmful and doesn't make any sense to me), and have a more abstract sense of justice than 8 or 9 (as could be seen by things I oppose), and I really hate domination by anyone unless it's sexy (Kimberly Kane does it well). I do like challenges and peace (mainly for myself), but I'm much more of a 1, wanting things to be perfect and things to change sometimes.
My heart fix is 4.; It's 4 because:
I've always loved beautiful and original artwork video games (usually being with them myself) and getting immersed in beautiful artwork, tends to improve my emotional state.
I've been dramatic in attempts to attract a rescuer, but I just repulsed them, because I couldn't control my emotions. I didn't want to control my emotions.
I'm attuned to my inner emotional state and I'd rather beautifully express myself and surround myself with beautiful things than show that I love someone or something; I was diagnosed with emotional lability, and I've always been labile. I also have always felt the need to be creative, original, and the right emotional state for myself and I've always been sensitive about my appearance and I've always been temperamental, and had all sorts of emotions and I value them because that's how I acquire what I want.
I do have the type 2 characteristics of wanting to be around people from time to time, needing people from time to time, and sometimes being attention seeking but it's not 2 because I don't want to be loved that much and I prefer not to always have to help people, I need help more myself
I'm not a 3 because I'm really not very pragmatic, never have been, not motivated by success or driven to succeed, I really don't want to work.
. I'm not a 3 because I really have usually preferred not to compete or to to live up to others' expectations as to do what's more original. It's not worthwhile for me to compete with other people, sometimes I have some internally felt aggression and have been aggressive, but I don't want to spend my energy trying to succeed, I never did. When I played vid games with friends, I didn't care to win, I observed that they had the talent to win and I didn't and I just wanted to have a good time. I'd rather be original, than live up to a consensus of being the best or what's most popular, or in style.
My head fix is 6w5. I'm always worried about the future and often see potential problems everywhere, while at other times acting impulsively, and I don't trust my own mind that much sometimes while trusting it too much at other times, needing support and guidance but from a humble, accurate, calm person and institutions I find beautiful and that give me the right emotional state, while also tending to doubt that person's guidance, although I'm selective. I try to have revolutionary views. 5 wing because I'm perceptive (and try to be unusually so), been told I have bizarre fixations, thinking "oh this didn't work like i wanted it to", "this detail is important", "they could've done better methods", "this was a good method! and trying to analyze why it was a good method", "this was fascinating information", "this person is so independent in their thinking and it amazes and delights me!",, collecting and paying attention to knowledge and things that most other people don't. I'm could also have a 7 wing since I've always been so sensual and a glutton, but 5 wing is more likely. I've been kind of witty like a 6 and appreciate when I have been... been told I had a dry sense of humor, kind of dark, am a comedian, make people laugh, and that I'm witty. I'm glad that I was, but I didn't always accept their compliments, because I didn't think I was all that funny.
Sx because I've generally needed intensity, because I am internally tense, because I feel my emotions more intensely, I pretty much quickly feel whom or what I'm attracted to or repulsed by and chemistry, I evoked strong reactions of repulsion in some people when I was young, but then Sp comes in and tells me I need to stay comfortable. I value my mental, emotional, and good physical sensations intensity more than I do my health or financial status. Social blind because I don't like following social rules, I don't favor popular social institutions of order, and would rather have good, comfortable intense relations and activities, than act for the social/public sphere, although I do love critiquing it. I prefer to serve certain individuals whom I care about, but who don't go against my own ethical code (I don't favor punishing law breakers necessarily, I hate rules, usually haven't liked following them), and I prefer to work with art, ideas, knowledge for fun, and materials than with society at large.
I know similar threads exist, but I just wanted to explain myself in enneagram and instinctual variants system. I hope other people enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed thinking and writing about myself, although serving others wasn't exactly my intention when writing this, expressing myself was. Writing has been therapeutic for me and I want to improve those skills and be more original and beautiful.