Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
Brother, it's not going too hot.

A) she has zero interests, except for watching movies. And her taste in movies is really, really bad.
B) I don't love her. I think she's physically attractive, and smelling her makes me want to fuck her. If she doesn't feel the same way, that's not enough to make a relationship work. And I don't know that I want to make a relationship work with her.
3) She already complains I'm distant because I don't respond to texts quickly enough, or because I take some time to think about heavy questions she springs on me out of the blue like "Do you want to die?" "Do you hate your parents?" "If you had a brother, would you fuck his wife?" If I ask why she asks such things, she says I "have walls around myself" and gets genuinely angry at me. To some extent, I realize I can be a little cold, but we've been dating for maybe 2 days and known each other for barely more time than that. I think I'm OK for not wanting to immediately spill my heart.
4) I've been pretty open that I think she's pretty and like her. She doesn't really say anything herself except get mad if she doesn't feel I'm pursuing her enough.
5) we both feel we don't understand each other at all. Talking to each other and getting clear answers from each other seems mutually frustrating. I'll admit partial fault here. A lot of what she asks from me I reflexively try to deflect or joke around -- a dark and heavy mood with someone I barely know, whom I'm trying to make like me, doesn't seem desirable in any way, and it sets off alarm bells in my head. Speaking of which,
6) she's serious. Really serious, and gloomy, and quiet. I can make her laugh, but it takes a LOT of energy. I don't really know how to get comfortable with her in the absence of any shared functions. She's got no Fe; I only pretend to have Fi. I can feel she wants to do that Fi-bonding thing you people do, but I just...don't really work like that, and so I don't know what to say to her.

I'm typing this out, very tired, after a failed date. Sorry if there are typos or other issues.
actually i can relate to her. u urself said u didnt love her. about the texts quickly enough, shes just anxious ion think ist that deep in itself, but there maybe smth deeper under it. like ur not spilling ur heart to her so to say, but shes trying to see if ur worth her time at all. why would i want to spend "fun" time with someone that i dont think even loves or cares about me in the first place? whenever id have fun with someone id usually be suspicious of them but want deep connection/loyalty and try to get it somehow, and ofc it could take time, but most ppl who take ur time just dont value it much, and in the end isnt it easier to spill the important stuff from the very start, than have a pretend relationship and even invest emotions and then spill it and then it comes to that u dont even value or like each other in a genuine way/arent mature enough to and will just traumatise each other. ILIs often seem to not want to be used and are even more guarded than IEIs in a Te ish way, tho IEIs can be more guarded in a Fe - ish way that lets ppl use them first cuz they are giving but they are aware they may be getting manipulated. while the ILIs seem more split between "is this person manipulating me???" and be more kinda relcutant/suspicious and hostile and obvious with their Fi bc they want to feel safe and secure, they are more direct. IEis more let u stuff while marry-ly hoping u will reciprocate (not talking about sexual intimacy, tho even that may be possible maybe in very young naeve ones?) but often while being aware u may not and not being suprised u didnt and u used them. while not surprised im still hurt and angry.t theres that more mature Fi. until we get too hurt and tired to keep going and hoping u will change/adapt cuz we think u;re just dum and or impreceptive and u dont mean it/understand so u make mistakes or decide we cant handle it anymore or figure that maybe ure evil or too much and not trying enough (hello some narcy LSEs or manipulative IEEs or wheover) or until we dieee.


well i think maybe ure loioking to enjoy some fantasie, a good time and socialization while shes looking for loyalty trust love and care